There's no point to this story. Just something I wrote on a whim. I
apologize for the sheer pointlessness of it. I love you all in a purely
platonic way.
And now the story.
Well, Duh *********
"I think I'm gay." I say suddenly. I turn to my friend to see his reaction. He's staring at me wide-eyed.
"Did you just say you think you were gay?" he asks incredulously. You'd think I'd just admitted to walking around in pink dresses and feeling people up.
I nod in answer.
"Well, duh!" he exclaims, exasperated and rolling his eyes.
"Pardon?" I ask surprised, "did you just say 'well, duh'?"
He nods in answer.
"I just had a life altering experience." I say slowly, "I admit to you that I'm gay, which is an epiphany to me, and you say 'well, duh'?"
He once again nods in answer.
"Explain, please." I command firmly.
"Everybody's already guessed you're gay." He explains.
"Everybody?" I ask, confused. "Who's everybody?"
"People at school, all our friends. You know. Everybody." He replies.
I blink rapidly as what he's saying sinks in. Apparently everyone I know, and probably some I don't knew I was gay before I did. That's just.wrong. I'm supposed to discover I'm gay and stay in the closet until I can't take it anymore, then in some over dramatic display I'm forced to come out. Or I'm supposed to fall in love with a guy, then discover I'm gay. I'm not supposed to blurt it out to my friend, and then have everyone already know.
"You're the 'gay guy' at school." He informs me. "People are either okay with it or ignore it."
"Why do people think I'm gay?" I ask.
He sighs, rolls his eyes, and then begins to count the reasons off on his fingers. "You've never had a girlfriend, you've never had a crush on a girl, most of your friends are girls, you're fashionably correct, you're way to touchy-feely, you have an oral fixation, and you once said the captain of the football team had a cute ass. It's pretty obvious."
Well, when you put it that way.
"And you never thought to inform me that I'm a flaming homosexual." I growl.
"Dude, I thought you knew!" he exclaims, while moving away from me.
"Well, I didn't!" I snap.
"Sorry." He murmurs apologetically.
"What am I gonna do?" I whine pitifully.
"Well, the bright side is; you don't have to worry about coming out." He says helpfully.
I glare at him instead of answering.
"Maybe you should find a boyfriend." He suggests as he moves closer to me.
"Oh yeah. Where? Gays 'R' Us?" I ask sarcastically.
"I don't think they're open today." He replies, moving closer.
"Ha ha." I say dryly. I turn to look at him and find his face inches from mine I never noticed before, but he's not bad looking. As a matter of fact he's kind of sexy. "What are you doing?" I ask hoarsely. My throat seems to have gone dry.
"I'm coming on to you." He whispers. Then he kisses me, devouring my mouth with the single mindedness that only a horny human male can have.
I think I'm gonna like being gay.
****** I can't believe I wrote this. Review. Though if I were you, I wouldn't bother. Good thing I'm not you. - A.H.
And now the story.
Well, Duh *********
"I think I'm gay." I say suddenly. I turn to my friend to see his reaction. He's staring at me wide-eyed.
"Did you just say you think you were gay?" he asks incredulously. You'd think I'd just admitted to walking around in pink dresses and feeling people up.
I nod in answer.
"Well, duh!" he exclaims, exasperated and rolling his eyes.
"Pardon?" I ask surprised, "did you just say 'well, duh'?"
He nods in answer.
"I just had a life altering experience." I say slowly, "I admit to you that I'm gay, which is an epiphany to me, and you say 'well, duh'?"
He once again nods in answer.
"Explain, please." I command firmly.
"Everybody's already guessed you're gay." He explains.
"Everybody?" I ask, confused. "Who's everybody?"
"People at school, all our friends. You know. Everybody." He replies.
I blink rapidly as what he's saying sinks in. Apparently everyone I know, and probably some I don't knew I was gay before I did. That's just.wrong. I'm supposed to discover I'm gay and stay in the closet until I can't take it anymore, then in some over dramatic display I'm forced to come out. Or I'm supposed to fall in love with a guy, then discover I'm gay. I'm not supposed to blurt it out to my friend, and then have everyone already know.
"You're the 'gay guy' at school." He informs me. "People are either okay with it or ignore it."
"Why do people think I'm gay?" I ask.
He sighs, rolls his eyes, and then begins to count the reasons off on his fingers. "You've never had a girlfriend, you've never had a crush on a girl, most of your friends are girls, you're fashionably correct, you're way to touchy-feely, you have an oral fixation, and you once said the captain of the football team had a cute ass. It's pretty obvious."
Well, when you put it that way.
"And you never thought to inform me that I'm a flaming homosexual." I growl.
"Dude, I thought you knew!" he exclaims, while moving away from me.
"Well, I didn't!" I snap.
"Sorry." He murmurs apologetically.
"What am I gonna do?" I whine pitifully.
"Well, the bright side is; you don't have to worry about coming out." He says helpfully.
I glare at him instead of answering.
"Maybe you should find a boyfriend." He suggests as he moves closer to me.
"Oh yeah. Where? Gays 'R' Us?" I ask sarcastically.
"I don't think they're open today." He replies, moving closer.
"Ha ha." I say dryly. I turn to look at him and find his face inches from mine I never noticed before, but he's not bad looking. As a matter of fact he's kind of sexy. "What are you doing?" I ask hoarsely. My throat seems to have gone dry.
"I'm coming on to you." He whispers. Then he kisses me, devouring my mouth with the single mindedness that only a horny human male can have.
I think I'm gonna like being gay.
****** I can't believe I wrote this. Review. Though if I were you, I wouldn't bother. Good thing I'm not you. - A.H.