I look up as my roommate walks in carrying a basket of laundry.
"Hey, can I borrow your button-down white shirt?" I ask from my seat on my bed.
"You gotta date tonight, or something?" he replies, rummaging through the basket of clothes. Finding the shirt, he tosses it to me from across the room.
I catch it easily, and begin removing my own stained shirt. "Yep. And tonight I'm gonna get laid." I say smugly, pulling on the borrowed shirt.
He scowls at me in disgust. "You're an asshole," he states, flopping down on his bed.
"Yes," I agree cheerfully, "but after tonight I'll be a sexually satisfied asshole."
He jerks upright to stare at me, and then doubles over laughing.
"That's not what I meant!" I yell defensively, blushing in embarrassment. "Quit laughing!"
"I had no idea!" he yells, still laughing.
"Shut up!" I throw a pillow at him, managing to nail him in the face.
"Oh, hey, calm down," he says soothingly, controlling his laughter. "No need to be upset. I'm just a little surprised is all. I mean, you told me you only dated girls." He bursts out laughing again.
"It's not that funny." I say, moving to stand over him.
He calms down, looking up at me. "Yeah, I know, but the look on your face when you realized what you'd said. That was pretty funny," he replies, smiling up at me.
"I'm glad you find my total mortification amusing." I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest angrily.
"Don't be like that," he says, putting his hand on my hip and still smiling. "You take yourself too seriously."
I merely stare down at his hand in confusion.
"What's wrong?" he asks, confused.
"You're hand is on my hip, which is very close to my – "
He yanks his hand off before I can finish my sentence. "Sorry," he mutters, not looking at me. "I have to go." He stands up quickly, causing me to stumble back and trip over my own feet.
"Shit!" I yell, grabbing his arm.
Not expecting the sudden weight, he falls with me, and ends up lying on top of me on the floor between our beds.
We stare at each other nervously from a few inches apart, both very aware of how much the other is turned on by our proximity.
A sudden thought occurs to me and I narrow my eyes. "This is so cliché." I mutter.
He laughs softly, and then proceeds to make me forget about my date by shoving an enthusiastic tongue in my mouth. Tonight I'm gonna get laid.