Confusion

It's nearly 4 o clock and I'm up thinking of you Putting zero stock into the toiling things I do

I function without noticing My head overwhelmed by heart The domination of emotion is what sets you apart

Complete oblivion Sweet, reckless high Drugless abuse Never a question why.

Touch me in the deepest places Daring to smile miles away Making new the same old faces Making bright the same old day

Don't let my love go unnoticed Don't leave me hurting, hanging Never again shall I betray my head Tell me this one is never changing

Leaving you physically brings tears to the eye Leaving you forever, a fate worse than cry I don't know if I can function without you and I Glad I don't have to worry, this will never die.

I have nothing but faith in you, and in us In you I love, and in you I trust. The time spent here won't be a bust. Stop spoiling this feeling with lust. Just my words used to be enough The knowledge I was here, and thouroughly in love. But now it's no good when we're fully clothed Like recalling everything you've emotionally oathed. I don't need anything, but your hand in mine An embrace, a kiss, enough to make me shine. But your hormones are on a mission, unwavering and true And I'm scared they will succeed; I'm scared because I love you. I told you no, that lasted maybe a day. As soon as we touch, suddenly it's okay. I don't want to hate myself for letting you in. All this emotion just makes my head spin. I can't talk to you about it, it just makes you feel bad. But keeping this in will only drive me mad. I'm smiling, crying, happy and sad. But how can I when I might just be a fad? When what we have is just something we had.. On so many levels.. Fuck you, Brad.

Always the first to question What we both know is there It isn't a suggestion It's a thought too tough to bear That I can't make you happy Something you need that I can't give We aren't good enough like this You need more for us to live. My whole life is making you happy. But hark: a need left unfulfilled. All my efforts to be good in vain When by your words I'm willed. Things I don't want to nor know how to do Things that, in time, will be there with me and you. But as for now, what's the rush? My every argument is shot to the dust. My every thought, conquered by your lust. There is one, that I know you would get. But I can't say things that I may regret. Things that kill the glimmer in your eye Things that kill hope for you and I. I need and want only you And all the things we do. You and your wandering hand, I wish you could understand. I WANT to give you what you need. I NEED to give you what you want. My body won't let me let you in. And so forever. the words haunt.

And so I push my morals out of sight I know things won't go too far, not in one night But once I'm home, regret rears its ugly head Remorse steals my thoughts when I'm alone in bed

But of course, when you ask I'm eager to smile Tell you I was happy all the while It's not like things were that steep So for now, my secret I keep There's no excuse for my playing with your head Let you have your fun, then say it's something I dread I can cry all on my own, Somethings you never need to know Some emotions I won't show The thought of you still makes me glow So your hand goes where it wants to go That doesn't mean I'm willing, though.

And the newest problem that I accidentally find I'm worse than you in a horny state of mind State of mind.. state of pants. whatever it is Causes me to unwind

Look at us now, 2 months in. To summerize: Permagrin. Life together lies before us Other couples now adore us But they do not see what goes past our spark Our little adventures alone in the dark Was it the beer, the lust or the love? Thankful for your shiny black glove.

I'm ashamed to say I'm still unfit. Physically youthful, unable to change it. Maybe, for now, we should wait some more. Once again, for new reasons, I'm unsure. I'm too damn little, there's no changing that. For a little bit longer, it's something we shouldn't go at. Besides, I know I've said it before, I know this excuse is becoming a bore. But, it's validity is unwavering, it's seen. Sorry to say it, but I'm still thirteen.