I woke up in the morning and stared blankly up at the wall. It was still the weekend and no school. I stood firmly to my feet despite me hardly having any sleep last night. After the regular morning routine, I decided not to have breakfast and went to the garage to take out my bike.
All I wanted was to feel the wind against my face in the hazy morning as I stepped over the saddle and kicked myself off. Although I was staring ahead of me for once, I had no idea where I was heading. Not long after I left my home behind, due to my reflexes, I barely missed a cat walking across the road, but skidded sideways and fell hard onto the rough damp surface. The bike fell beside me with an ugly clatter.
I got up slowly and brushed the mud off my black T-shirt. When I went to pick up the bike, I noticed the bell Julian gave me was dented. She had wanted to break up with me then. This was her parting gift. I rubbed the dented surface delicately and rang the bell, now sounding distorted and hollow. I struggled back up onto my bike and peddled on, with the bell under my hand but still attached to the handlebars.
The images of Julian rushing forward to Mike shot back to my mind like a bullet. Julian was frantic that day, and probably still held onto Mike's hand until the doctors begged her to let go. I compared the incident to when I had injured my head. Although I was unconscious, I was sure she never did that.
I stopped the bike and looked up, realising I had arrived inside the school grounds. The school was opened this weekend, some sort of teachers meeting. I left my bike at the usual place and wandered around the school aimlessly. Or so I had thought. My feet actually took me directly to the stairs where Julian first kissed me. I thought back to when I could have been gentler or treated her better and shook my head.
I turned around and allowed my feet to carry me wherever they wanted to go. It turned out they wanted to be in the music department. I sat down in front of a piano and idly pressed a few keys. I remembered back before I dated Julian that these careless touches of the piano would always result back to the tune of the Untitled Melody. Then upon hearing the song, I would be blinded by the past and forget everything around me.
" The Pachelbell Cannon, a nice piece it is," a voice startled me. Moreover, it was what the voice said. I was not playing the Untitled Melody – but the Pachelbell Cannon.
" Mr Corcoran," I stood up and bowed slightly to my old music teacher.
" Zack was it?" he rubbed his chin. " Yes, Zack it is."
" You remember my name?" I asked without thinking, then looked down at the ground.
" Of course! I haven't forgotten everything yet," he chuckled. " Now tell me, what are you doing in school? I thought we had to bribe you kids to come here these days."
" I was just… strolling around," I forced out a smile.
" Really… Do you like that piece? The Pachelbell Cannon?"
" Yes… It's one of my… friend's favourites."
" Have you heard of the old phrase by Horace about pieces like that? Moreover, about art?"
" What phrase sir?"
"Ars Longa, Vita Brevis. Art long, Life short."
" Yes sir…" I mumbled. Music that brought out regrets and sorrows. Maybe they would never cease to bring back the memories for as short as I live.
" Yes, art is an interesting thing." The old man chuckled and began walking away. " However, it has many perspectives. One person may look at it and recall a marvellous memory while another may only be reminded of miserable times. Even the same person who created the piece can have a different reaction when he looks back upon it later in time. People grow and change. You can't change the past. But you can use it to better your future."
" I'll remember that sir."
" Good… er… what was your name again?"
I had my hands on the bike's handlebars and pushed it beside me as I wandered into the park near the school. It was a bright day and many different people were around enjoying the weather. I was watching the bike chains and was unaware of where I was heading. Soon, the front tire hit the trunk of a tree. A pine.
" Zack?" I turned around to find two people there. It was Nicola and Greg. She was hugging his arm while Greg's other hand was holding a leash to a dog. The picture seemed so natural – so perfect. They were definitely the perfect couple. " Hello. Nice weather huh?"
I thought back to that phrase. I had used the exact words to Nicola just the day before I asked Julian to be my girlfriend under this tree. The corners of my lips turned up a little and said, " Yeah, it is."
" You might have seen me around before. I'm Greg." I shook his hand.
" Yes, nice to finally meet you."
" We were just walking my dog when we saw you alone here. Where's Julian?" Nicola asked innocently.
" Well…" Before I needed to give an answer, her dog pulled free from Greg and was running away chasing a bird. Nicola smiled apologetically and left us to run after it. Both Greg and I stared after her for a while and I noticed the grateful smile on his face.
" It's been a while since we've been together now. I have to say, I don't know if I should thank God or thank you."
" Me?" I asked. My memory provided me with the day where Nicola and I saw each other here.
" She had a dead crush on you to start off with." Then my interpretations that day were right. I did miss my chance. " But then you had Julian and…"
" Don't be ridiculous," I put my hand on his shoulder, " It was you. She was touched by how you cared for her. And your courage to actually confess your feelings. You two look perfect together."
" …Thank you Zack."
" I meant what I said." Nicola was the caring type while Greg's thoughtfulness to her complemented that like a harp to a halo.
" What're you guys talking about?" Nicola was panting when she came back with her dog in her arms.
" Nothing much," I said. Greg took the dog off her and put a hand to her back to steady her breathing a little. That simple gesture was enough to show how much he deserved her.
" Well we'd better be going," Nicola said and waved goodbye.
" Goodbye," I nodded at her and Greg as they were once again on their way.
My gaze turned back on the pine. Its branches were no longer bare, but filled with leaves that signified life and growth. It stood tall, watching the many things that past and had past by. It was here when I asked Julian to be with me. Now I was here again.
Perfect couple. What would happen if you had actually been with Nicola? There would be no way you could have matched her better than Greg could. Not all relationships that you are perfect are. One just has to try and find their perfect other, no matter how many tries it would take.
Then… was Julian and I perfect? Or was it just another trial to find my perfect other.
Or was it a trial for her to realise Mike.
I had no idea why I came here. It was as if I was possessed by the ghost of my past and was directed here. I glanced up at the structure in front of me and remembered the two times I had been here.
The Church of Memories.
The first time I was here, it was because of Ashley. She left and if I had known that she shared my feelings back then, I would have felt even worst. The beautiful stain glass windows all seemed to be in pieces that day in the rain. I wondered where Ashley was right now. I just hoped she would find someone that could take care of her. Someone less dense than me.
The second time was because of Nicola. I thought I had repeated the mistake and came here that night, once again seeing the stain glass windows shattering. Well it turned out to be a good mistake. If it was not for me, Nicola might not have saw Greg's assets. Then I remembered what made up my mind about going out with Julian. It was her support that night that moved me.
Now, I stared up at the ancient stain glass windows once again in all their tranquillity. I let the wind blow the hair off my forehead and I closed my eyes, thinking. No, they were not shattering around me, nor were they broken.
This time, I was here to borrow some courage. Maybe I had already decided this when I began my way here, but now I understood. I understood what I should do about Julian – my friend. And Mike – my best friend.
I silently thanked the church and bade farewell. Maybe I should just take my mind off finding a partner so often: things come as they come and whether I liked it or not. I would not want to return here, nor would I want the beautiful stain-glass windows to shatter ever again.
I got on my bike and headed towards the hospital.
I watched from just outside the door how Julian was still with Mike – holding onto his hand tightly. She had fallen asleep and it seemed like Mike was still in a comma. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, wondering if I should go in. How long had she been staying there? When would Mike wake up?
I spotted a tinny flicker of the eye and Mike soon began to move. This woke Julian up and I was about to walk into the room before she embraced him. I took a step back and waited. I listened to them, finally finding each other. When I saw Julian rush out of the room, too busy and happy to notice anything around her, I took a deep breath and stepped into the room.
" Zack?" Mike's voice was hoarse, probably due to the lack of liquid his throat from the comma.
" That was one long water break Mike," I gave him a small smile and walked beside him, where the water sat on the bedside table. " The match is over. We lost."
" Oh," Mike averted his gaze and stared down at this pinkie. I knew they had made a promise.
" Here," I handed him a glass of water and he slowly took it, still not looking at me. We sat in silence for a physically short amount of time before Mike finally jolted his head towards me.
" This is a promise I have to break," he whispered to himself, not meaning for me to hear. " Take Julian home. She's probably been here for a while."
" Yeah, longer than you thought," I crossed my arms. Am I really going to be the nice guy? Could I? " She's been here since you've been here. Which was quite a while as I've told you."
" Well then you really should bring her home," Mike feigned a joking facade. " She's probably made a lot of noise already."
" You really want her to go away with me?" I asked. This is it.
" …Yes." Mike nodded sombrely.
" You should know by now Mike," I shook my head, " I could always tell when you're lying."
" Mike! The doctor's h…" Julian's footsteps abruptly stopped near the door when she saw me. The doctor stepped past her and hurried into the room with the other nurses, ushering us out.
Julian was staring at the floor while we stood outside the door. Exactly like Mike. They are perfect. Her hands were behind her back and she seemed to be deciding something. I guess I'll just have to help her decide.
" I want my rings back," I clearly said. Julian was taken by surprise and snapped her head up to look at me.
" What?" I stared at her for a moment. As I had admitted so long ago in the past – she was pretty. I kicked my longing away and knew I had to face this problem.
" I want the rings, on your fingers, back," I said and pointed.
" I… Zack… Mike and I…" she began to babble and tears were threatening to fall.
" Just hand them over," I tapped my foot and forged a mask of annoyance. Don't cry Julian.
" Okay," Julian raised her hand slowly. The rings that I had given her at the Evergreen were on her fingers. She slid one off and it almost knocked me backwards as my heart took the impact. She handed the one I had bought back to me and I kept it in my hand.
" The other," I uttered. I recalled the day I had spent making that ring, thinking about what I should do to make her feel better. The craftsmanship might have been one of the worst in the world, but it was almost like an extension to my being. This extension would soon be disconnected with Julian.
She took it off in one smooth motion and held it out. I swiftly pocketed it as the doctor came out after their check-up.
" Zack…" I did not let her continue as I marched into Mike's room.
" Mike, open your hand out," I said. If what I am doing is right, then why do I have to feel so wrong to myself?
" What do you mean? Zack I…" Mike was looking back at me helpless on his bed and I just held his gaze with my intense stare. Mike's shoulders slumped and held out his hand.
" Zack, what are you doing?" Julian was at Mike's side, confused and worried.
I placed my fist on top of Mike's hand and held it there for a few seconds. I then let the ring fall from my grasp. Julian gasped and Mike just looked at it in recognition and shock.
" Put the ring on her Mike," I put my hands in my pockets, one of which held the ring I had made. I closed my hands over it tightly and continued my speech. " It's the least I can give you two as a present."
" What?" the two of them asked simultaneously. They're not married yet and they're already reading each other's minds.
" Don't be too happy yet Mike, this is not your wedding present." I powdered on a smile for effect. " So don't put it on her left ring finger. It's just a present for the two of you being a couple. You are my best friend after all Mike and it's my way of congratulating you."
" What about you Zack?" Mike yelled back.
" I don't know," I shrugged good-naturedly. " Maybe go home and cry into my teddy bear?" Mike's expression softened and all his protests gone. " The two of you are meant to be together okay? Now put that ring on her already, it was costly. And it serves as a reminder as well. If you ever treat Julian badly, she can punch you while wearing the ring. Believe me, that's going to hurt."
Mike slowly looked into Julian's face and she gazed back. Maybe without knowing it, the ring was slipped onto her finger – by Mike. I would have laughed at the young couple in front of me, both heads down looking at the ring, if only I was a better actor.
" Well, finally! Took you two long enough," I sighed and spun on my heels to leave.
" Zack!" I was called back at the door. I twisted my head back and waited. " We don't want to hurt you."
I don't want to hurt the two of you.
" As I've said before. You two are meant to be together!" I executed an exasperated sigh. " Remember that dancing competition that Sigrid forced us into? The two of you were marvellous! You two did win the competition after all. No amount of practice could even have got Julian and I to the second last place. Do you two not remember what that dance instructor said? It's passion. Now the two of you just go on and understand it for yourselves. Just remember. Don't loose each other on the way."
I winked at them and did a clicking sound with my tongue, then pointed at them. Mike's signature move. With that, I left them while the picture of their dance flared inside my head.
The passions from inferno hell that was threatening to burn through me at that moment.
I swiped the cover off my MIDI keyboard and watched the dust flew around in the sunset's light. It had been a while since I laid hands on it. I sat down and press a few keys, the notes sounding from the computer's speakers. I took out the ring I had kept in my pocket and stared it for a while.
The telescope was no longer on Julian. I looked at the ring while thinking about my days before dating her. The MIDI keyboard was my partner then and the Untitled Melody was our communication.
I placed the ring on top of the keyboard and began playing the Pachelbell Cannon. I thought back about what Mr Corcoran had said this morning and how the melody Ashley and I made had haunted me before. I pressed in the keys more violently and listened to the loud piano-like notes.
The Untitled Melody – no, Music – was not for that purpose.
I slowed the rhythm again and glanced at the ring. An empty ice cream tub that was on my computer desk caught my eye behind it. I had unconsciously got attached to Julian too much – maybe even been dependant on her. No matter how much I wished, unlike ice cream, Julian could not be shared with Mike.
I had done the right thing in the hospital. Mike and Julian were perfect. Even if, in the end, I would be left alone with an empty carton… I stopped playing, took the ring and put in inside the empty ice cream tub.
I was in luck to have this momentum.
I figured that I should leave the house a little, and not be cramped up in my room with the green street lamp shinning in again. I phoned Elf to ask if he wanted to shoot some hoops, but he was out with Kathryn. I then phoned Kevin but got his voice message instead. Well, it was really Lillian's message since she was the one who recorded it, replacing the one Kevin used for years as a pick-up line. Finally, I thought Gavin would like to learn basketball a little. Then I remembered he and Karen were having a night in together.
And to think I was trying to be cheerful.
I guessed it was just a date between me and my old friend, the Spalding basketball, tonight. I plugged in my earphones and cycled down to the courts with a slow ballad playing. As I got near the courts, I heard the familiar sound of pounding on the ground even without stopping the tape. I guessed there was someone practicing this evening as well. Maybe I could challenge him to a one-on-one.
" Undergrowth! What're you doing here?" Sigrid stopped in the act of shooting when she spotted me. " Shouldn't you be home crying?"
" Wow, you're sympathetic," I flatly stared back at her.
" Well you know," she shrugged, " Julian and Mike are meant to be. I saw it from the first day I was here."
" Sure, whatever," I sighed. Somehow, I could not feel much hurt at her harsh, but true, words. Maybe it was because of the tone she had used: clear and simple. It was almost like telling me that one plus one equals two.
" Want a game?" I kept my earphones on and snatched the ball from her hands to her surprise.
" Hey! You're on!" Sigrid took off after me towards the basket.
After a few more baskets were scored under her, Sigrid began to attack less seriously. She kept picking on my hair in hopes of getting me to lose concentration. Finally, when I pretended to look away, she took a jump shot. I managed to graze the ball with my fingertips as it sailed towards the backboard. After a resonating wham, I took off and jumped high to catch the ball as it came back down.
" Rebounding." I barely heard Sigrid whisper a little distance away.
" Yes, I am the district's best small forward you know. And that was called a rebound," I sarcastically smirked. All Sigrid did was smile at me. Where was the come back? What's she up to this time? I quickly threw the ball at her to wake her up.
" Rebounding Zack," Sigrid almost chirped and threw the ball towards the backboard again. " Have you thought about it this way before?" She jumped and caught the rebound, then scored a fast basket.
" Yes, I have thought about rebounding then shoot, but that's kind of unfair because of my height advantage…"
" Not that stupid!" Sigrid began dribbling the ball on the spot in front of me. She gazed deeply into my eyes while having a hint of mirth on her lips, almost as if she was explaining the wonders of the stars. " You dated Julian on the rebound."
" Huh?"
" You know, just depending on her because she was the closest thing around. You know, with Nicola going out with Greg just the day before you asked her out. Then there was the mystery behind why you didn't ask Nicole out even if you probably had a crush on her for ages before that…"
" Wait a second!" I stomped my foot on the ground as the song on my tape began its final coda. " How did you find out all this? And the crush on Nicola? And things about me before you arrived here?"
" Well…" Sigrid shrugged and did a spin move round me. Was her face that red from playing basketball? " I have my sources. The thing is, now after playing basketball with you, I think you're no longer dependant on Julian anymore. With you not falling over in a heap every time I mention Julian's name."
" Find, I rephrase my question," I turned around to face her back while her dribbling got faster. " Why did you find out all these things about me?"
" Because…" the song on my tape was beginning its ending with a fadeout. " I want to win my opponent in a basketball match, and you know you must know your opponent."
" Okay," I put my hands in my pockets and just stared at the back of her head. Somehow, she did not seem so short anymore, the perfect height for her head to be leaning on my shoulder actually.
The song I was listening finally faded away on its last cadence. Now a new song was about to play. Maybe life was like movements in a piece of music: where each movement's end would be another's birth.
As I stood there, under the faint moonlight on the basketball court, I anticipated for the new melody to begin.
A/N: And this is the end, and the shortest chapter of A Melody Untitled. I just don't see the point in trying to squeeze in any more useless lines when I think this has already resolved everything and said what it wanted to say.
I uploaded this story in August last year, although the first chapter was actually created in May (so it says on my computer). Well this is my first story, and I did dump many many first chapters before, so it can't be said to have taken only a year for me to finish. Then again, this year was – eventful. But every year is eventful; every second a person changes and learn new things. But I am digressing.
When I had first started the story, I had a rough idea of where to go, but I guessed the story didn't turn out the way I had expected. At the start, Julian didn't have a major role, Gavin was the main sub-plot, no new characters would be introduced after the start of the story etc. etc. But I guess ideas come one after another and led the story to where it is now.
I thank anyone who liked this story and took the time to read it. The eternal question of an author: 'Write for the readers, or write for themselves' lingered around my mind most of the time I was writing this. In the end, I have to say it was mostly for myself. I only presented to the readers what I consider I would enjoy reading. Hence, I am glad that anyone liked the story near as much as I do. For those who disliked it, I merely would think they have a different taste – unless they could give me a imperishable explanation. And I am a stubborn person at times.
Finally, I would like to end my first story with a few more personal words. I read before that the romance writers realise that 'fantasy was what they were creating'. Being born in this era, and being a guy no less, romance for me is still vague and unclear. I don't even know what drove me to start a romance novel, but here I have done it. Maybe I am a born fantasy seeker, always been absorbed into the worlds of swords and magic. Maybe it is the same with romance, where I am dreaming for the impossible.
Is romance really a fantasy? Well that, is open for interpretations.