Heaven's Call Holiday Spectacular 2!: The Nutcracker.

            Schu no ko skipped out on stage. "Hello, everyone! Thank you for reading so much and not being scared away! This evening we have our special presentation of "The Nutcracker" Tonight, the nutcracker will be performed as a play rather than ballet due to a cast revolution in the middle of last night's dress rehearsal."

            "DAMN STRAIGHT!" was heard from backstage.

            "…so anyways..for the most part, they're making this up as they go. Please enjoy. Please don't kill me for bastardizing The Nucracker."

            The curtain rose, revealing a Christmas party scene.

            Zak pranced out on stage wearing a rather girly outfit. "Erm… whee what a fun Christmas party, don't you think, Eth…er.. Fritz?

            Ethan was pushed out on stage dressed as a young European boy. He was blushing profusely. "Um…yeah…fun.."

            Zak had now discovered that he loved the spot light and wanted to play around in character. "Oh, I can't wait until Herr Drosslemeyer comes! He always brings such nice presents."

            "Um…yeah…he should be coming any minute now…"

            A loud crashing was heard backstage followed by "GODDAMMIT THIS FUCKING EYE PATCH!!" followed by Daemon stumbling half-blind out on stage, dressed fairly normally for Daemon, save for the eye patch covering his right eye.

            "Oh Herr Drosslemeyer, how are you?"

            "Save for this bloody eye patch…decent."

            "Did you bring us any presents?"

            Daemon reached into his cloak and his eye grew wide. "God dammit," he muttered, running off stage. "Where the hell are my props, Wench? Ah…" This was followed by another crash, followed by another stumbling entrance. "I can't see a bloody thing…" he sighed. "Here." He handed Ethan a sword. "Don't kill things with it."

            "Umm…thank you."

            Daemon made his way to Zak somehow. "Here." He handed Zak a nutcracker doll. "You're too girly for a sword but too boyish for a doll."

            "Wow! I'll cherish it forever! It's my favorite present of all time! I love it, I love it! I'm gonna name it Morgan!"

            All paused. Everyone looked at Ethan. "What?" he asked nervously. Schu no ko skipped out on stage and whispered into Ethan's ear.

            "Oh…ok… Hey, Clara, lemme see!"

            "No!"

            "Gimme!"

            "No!"

            "GIMME!" Zak and Ethan tugged on opposite sides of the Nutcracker. POP! Its head fell off.

            "YOU JERK!" Zak screamed, kicking Ethan in the shins. He whimpered and looked pathetically at Daemon. "Can you fix it?"

            "No."

            "Yes you can. You're magical."

            "Fuck you." Daemon took the doll into his hands and tied the head back on using a ribbon. "There. Happy?"

            "Yay! I love you, Herr Drosslemeyer and your Nutcracker"

            "..ew…"

            "Not like that!"

            Zak lied the nutcracker under the Christmas tree. "Umm… party's over now and everyone should go to sleep."

            "Finally…" Ethan said running off stage.

            "Wait up!" Daemon yelled following him, but was stopped before he reached the curtain. "…oh yeah… Kid, don't play under strange Christmas trees with Nutcracker dolls. Weird shit might happen."

            "'kay."

            Zak waited until everyone went off stage and the lights dimmed before he returned to the tree and played with his doll. "La la la…wow I'm sleepy." Zak lied down and "fell asleep".

            With the sound of wheels squeaking, the tree grew! Zak "woke up" and looked up. "Oh, that's not normal."

            "MUWAHAHA!" he heard a menacing voice say as Theonas stepped on stage dressed as European royalty, save for the mouse ears, whiskers and tail.

            Zak started laughing. "Nice ears, Theo."

            "Shut up," was the cold reply.

            "So why are you a giant mouse again?"

            "You were at rehearsal weren't you?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

            "Well it's this part that I'm supposed to sit around all scared and frightened, so I brought a book to read because it was boring."

            Theo rolled his eyes and twirled his sword. "I am the all great and terrifying Mouse King. I've come to kidnap you."

            Zak snapped his fingers. "That's right! Now why did you want to kidnap me again?"

            "I'm the Mouse King. It's my job," he said, matter-of-factly. "No go, my mice minions!" he pointed towards Zak and a bunch of random people dressed as mice went to attack Zak.

            "Jesus H. Christ, I can't breathe in this thing…" was heard from backstage.

            Also from the wings came, "It's only for a minute, Morgan… get out there and rescue Zak…"

            "Halt!" Out on to the stage came Morgan dressed as a giant Nutcracker doll (Complete with massive, physically impossible head!).

            Theo's cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk's before he burst out laughing at the ridiculous costume.

            "Shut up, Mickey," was the retort from the Nutcracker. "Can we hurry this up? I'm working with a limited air supply."

            "Whatever you say, captain top heavy."

            "I'm a prince. Not a captain."

            "Whatever." Everyone waited. "Aren't you going to attack me?" Theo the Mouse King finally asked.

            "…I can't see you…"

            Theo sighed, ambled over and whapped his sword against Morgan's. "I'm over here."

            "Ah, ok." Morgan thrust his sword forward and a "sword fight" commenced. It didn't really look like a sword fight so much as a guy in a mouse costume whacking the guy who couldn't see due to his mask so that said guy in mask wouldn't fall off the stage nor swing at the air. "Ack…dying… air… need…"

            The Mouse King rolled his eyes and guided Morgan's sword into a death strike and fell over. "There. I'm dead now."

            Zak glomped his prince. "You fought so bravely!"

            Morgan furiously pointed at the false head. "Off…get it off…"

            Zak lifted the head off Morgan to reveal the warlock red in the face, sweating and panting heavily. He fell to his knees. "Just…*cough cough wheeze* a sec…" Once Morgan caught his breath, he straightened his air, adjusted his glasses and stood. "Ahem. I have rescued you from the Mouse King. Now we shall travel to the land of sweets." His look changed from chivalrous to seductive in less than half a second as he eyed Zak and whistled. "I'd crack your nuts anyday…"

            Somewhere backstage, Schu no ko slapped her forehead and began to regret this idea.

            Morgan had his arm now around Zak. "So do you like nuts?"

            "Um… yes…Mr. Nutcracker Prince, sir…."Zak stammered, trying as much as possible to stay in character.

            Morgan chuckled as he pulled Zak close. "Now now. No need to be formal. Would you like to try my nuts?"

            Zak was getting a little frustrated. "…maybe later. Can we go to the land of sweets?"

           The Nutcracker prince scoffed. "Nothing there is as sweet as your…" he was interrupted as his foot was stepped on. He looked to see Kidori dressed as a snow fairy standing on his foot.

            "Stop that."

            "Yes'm," Morgan quietly said.

            "Okies. Now…" Kidori took out her script. "Ok, says I hafta dance and guide to to the candyland. God dammit. I hate dancing." With that being said, Kidori danced a beautiful interpretive dance that sent the audience and the cast members into rousing applause. "There, dammit." She said. "I missed a fucking step too. Ah well. Bring out the sleigh!"

            Out came a sleigh which Morgan got into and pulled Zak on his lap.

~intermission~

Schu no ko timidly walked onto the stage. "I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry."

            Theo stormed onto stage (still in his Mouse King outfit), guiding Daemon, who was holding onto his tail. "You lie, Schu no ko."

            Daemon raised his fist in anger. "You're enjoying every minute of this, you damned sadistic goddess!"

            Theo looked over his shoulder. "Can I have my tail back please? I feel like I'm on a leash."

            "Shove it, Mouse boy. You have depth perception."

~start act 2~

            Willow was out on stage dressed as a fairy. "Yo!" she said to the two arriving in the sleigh. "I'm the sugarplum fairy. We kinda have to cut the show short here."

            "Aww… why?" Zak pleaded.

            Willow the Sugarplum fairy shrugged. "We don't want to offend any ethnic groups with the stereotypical dancing. So that leaves the Dew Drop fairy."

            Joey trudged out on stage. "I hate this outfit."

            Morgan eyed Willow. "What about you. Are you going to dance?"

            Willow shook her head. "No." 

            "Why not?"

            "I don't dance."

            "Kidori danced," Zak whined.

            Willow's eye twitched and she skipped very apathetically. "Prance prance prance. Twirl twirl twirl. There. Happy?"

            "Yes."

            "Ok, Dew drop fairy. Dance."

            Joey rolled his eyes and twirled around even more apathetically than Willow had to "Waltz of the Flowers."

            Upon his finishing, Willow clapped and said. "That's it. Show's over."

            "Me and "Clara" have to kiss first!" Morgan demanded.

            Zak who was eating a candy cane looked at Morgan. "That's not in the script."

            Morgan smiled slyly. "In that case can I lick your candy cane?"

            Zak smiled. "Sure…" then he realized what he had just agreed to. "NO! I mean no! Not here!"

            The curtain rapidly closed, followed by the cast, save Morgan and Zak as they were now occupied, taking their bows.

            The end.

(Schu notes: The really really end. Webcomic is a go. Keep looking at babyneko.com for updates and concept art. Also, look for the interview with me up in the randomness section. THANK YOU FOR READING HEAVEN'S CALL AND HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!

Love love,

Schu no ko)