Authors Note: This is a flash fic; basically it's a small view into this person's life. So it doesn't really have a point to it other than to illustrate how they life and their interactions. That and its funny.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The sound was insistent and forced Elwyn from his slumber. With a soft groan of protest he rolled onto his back and stared into the darkness above him. Beside him on the night stand sat the electric alarm clock that was producing the offensive sound. Its little bright red numbers flashed along with the beeping and told him that it was five AM. With as little movement as possible he fumbled to reach the snooze button, after a few moments of futile effort he simply ripped it off the table and subsequently from the wall.

A soft whine at the foot of the bed reminded him that he wasn't alone. With a small bit of psychic force he turned on the lamp, its light illuminated Garm. The massive beast took up the whole foot of the bed; it bowed under his considerable weight. His long silky white fur stood out in sharp contrast to the black silk sheets he was so comfortably laying across. The dog lifted his head and perked his red ears at him curiously, his dark eyes seeming to ask if every thing was alright.

Elwyn dropped the alarm clock to the floor and slid reluctantly from the bed with its enticingly warm sheets. The smell of coffee floated in from the kitchen and perked him up enough to stop glaring at everything that crossed his vision.

He entered the sparsely decorated living room; all it had was a stereo, couch and coffee table. No pictures graced the walls, no rug attempted to bring life to the drab brown carpet, it was all utilitarian. The kitchen was a different matter entirely; it was full of bright shiny new high tech looking furniture. The refrigerator was a sleek black with touches of chrome, even the cabinets followed suit with the same black on metal look.

Sitting on the breakfast nook all in a row were five coffee pots, each automatic, and each well cared for. One had just finished brewing, its automatic timer set for just ten minutes before Elwyn's alarm went off. He shuffled slowly from the carpeted living room to the tile floored kitchen, rubbing his bare belly sleepily. Upon reaching the coffee pot he carefully selected a coffee cup to use for the morning.

Similarly to the coffee pots the cups were neatly lined up in a row, most were plane black but one stood out. He yawned broadly and selected that one. It was nothing special just a white coffee mug that had 'world's best dad' written across the side. He poured the freshly brewed coffee into it and drank it all in one gulp. For a moment he stood there as if waiting for his body to catch up to what had happened. A little smile graced his eldritch features and he poured yet another cup and drank it all just as with the first. He continued this pattern but paused long enough to turn on a second coffee pot.

After drinking all eight cups worth of the first pot he rinsed out the mug and set it beside the sink to dry. While the second coffee pot went to work making its brew he moved back into the bedroom.

Garm tracked his movements from the door to the bathroom with an ever curious expression. Elwyn continued to ignore him and shut the bathroom door. He walked to the shower and turned it on, after a moment of adjusting the temperature he moved to the sink.

He spent a few moments flossing and brushing his teeth taking meticulous care to get them fully clean. Once that task was completed he began to brush his waist length black hair. He stared into his own solid black eyes while he worked, a blank still waking up expression never once left his face. By the time he finished with his hair the mirror was fogged over.

Flipping his hair over his shoulder he walked back to the shower and removed his boxers tossing them onto the clothes hamper. An almost blistering heat greeted him when he stepped into the shower. Elwyn wasted no time enjoying it and quickly went about scrubbing off, washing his hair and rinsing off. He stepped out and quickly dried off with a large plush black towel.

When he stepped back into the bedroom proper he was again greeted by his dogs soulful stare. He let out a heavy sigh them smiled crookedly at him.

"Good morning Garm."

The dog's tail instantly began wagging wildly and he seemed to grin with joy.

Elwyn walked past the bed towards the closet, patting Garm on the head as he passed. When he opened the doors he let out a low growl.

Hanging rather lonesomly in the considerable space of his closet was a single leather trench coat, a silk shirt with a tie thrown across its shoulder, a pair of neatly folded black silk boxers and neatly displayed on a dry cleaners hanger a pair of black leather pants.

Behind him Garm quickly slinked out of the bed room and dashed into the living room to hide behind the stereo system.

Elwyn stood there naked and still damp from the shower and just glared at the sight before him. Snatching the boxers from off the shelf he quickly donned them and stormed out of his apartment. He quickly arrived at a room at the end of the hall and took a deep calming breath. Just as he raised his hand to knock on the door it opened up, as if the occupant had expected him.

"Good morning Elwyn!" The woman inside the apartment said cheerfully.

"Where are my pants?" Elwyn growled through clenched teeth.

"Well…" She pursed out her pouty red lips and got a deeply thinking look that might seem cute to most people. "Chances are in your closet like they're supposed to be."

"No. They are not. There is only one pair. What have you done with my pants?" He clenched his fists tightly and kept his rapidly growing anger in check.

"Well it is laundry day so the rest are in the washer right now. So I guess you'll have to wear that one pair." Her dark eyes danced with mischief and she seemed unbothered by the look of pure death the man before her was giving her.

"You know how much I hate wearing leather pants!" He barely managed to keep from shouting at her. She only giggled seductively.

"But you butt looks sooo good in them." She crooned running her fingers down his lean chest.

He quickly grabbed her wrist before it went below his navel. "I swear you will pay for this Nightshade. You have my word on that!"

With a quick growl of anger he turned from her and stormed right back to his room. Nightshade watched him go with a big grin.

Moments later Elwyn marched back down the hall, wearing the same leather pants that had caused all his anger. Nightshade stood in the door way grinning at him as he moved towards her.

"Ah hell, every inch of you looks edible in those pants." She let out a soft purr as he passed.

He paused and looked down at her. "Just because we are married does not mean you can treat me like a sex object." His voice almost sounded hurt and he quickly kept moving to the elevator and fled his wife's hungry eyes.