End Notes-
Holy Crap! It's so DONE! Wow, I never thought I'd live to see the day... Ah, this feels SO good.
Okay, granted, it's just the first draft, but STILL, this is officially only my *third* ever finished story. And the other two weren't nearly as organized as this one, (and that's not saying much here).
I have TONS of questions for you guys. So, let's get started, shall we?
First of all, don't worry about grammar and spelling. Seriously. Don't worry about that. It all comes out cleaner with revisions, and minor technicalities like that don't matter right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Timeline
Okay, so when I started this story, I didn't really pay attention to the timeline. Overall, I think no more than 2 weeks have passed since the beginning, and that's no good. I had originally wanted the story to span out for several months. That way, Bandit's and Zoe's relationship could be more solid, and also, you could actually see the outcome of all of Zoe's effort in the garden when everything blooms in the spring. (I intentionally ignored the garden overall because I don't know anything about gardening.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Thieves
So, does anyone have any idea where Bandit and Pirate keep all their stolen treasures? Or where they hide their costumes? How they sneak away and never get caught by their parents? I sure as hell don't! I could probably have a ton of fun figuring that out. Should I include things like that?
Also, should I have more public discussions about the thieves? Everyone DOES know about them and wonder who they are and such, you know? Ooooh, police chases! (Bwahahahaa!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Characters
Sabina Olsen and her father- were supposed to be included throughout the story, where the thieves come for Zoe, but Sabina's there. Anyway, it obviously didn't work out. Shall I just get rid of them all together?
Hannah and Alexis- those two girls talking shit about Juliet. They had so much to say, but didn't last too long. Did it flow okay, though, or should I include them and other stray students from school somewhere into the story too?
Katherine- again, her significance is minimal. But should Zoe at least acknowledge her existence before randomly receiving a call from her?
Ian- more in the story? Or have we had enough of him? Even I'm wondering what happened with her relationship with him. How did it work out? Are they still together while Juliet is here trying to get Austin back? Or did they break up? What?
The Parents- Leo's mother and Austin's father don't last long in the story. Is that okay?
And Neptune and Socrates! Oh, my sweet imaginary kitties! Where did you go? Okay, so my plan with them was that they wouldn't be nice to strangers. Like when Juliet and Ian came over, Neptune and Socrates would scratch and hiss and stuff. Then, in a stray scene later in the story, Austin and Leo would be randomly placed in Zoe's home, and she'd wonder why Neptune and Socrates were nice to them. (Cuz the kitties like the thieves, duh!) Silly Zoe. How naive you are!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Overall Randomness
Should Austin show signs of being sore after being hit by Zoe's car?
Were the guns too random?
The sex was random. I got clear signals from you guys that you did NOT like that. I'll see what I can do. Some plans for the story really didn't come together like I thought they would. I think that can also be solved with fixing the timeline too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's Missing?
I'm wondering myself what kind of relationship the thieves have with Juliet. If I was in Zoe's position, I wouldn't ignore those issues like she did (ahem, like the author did). What's Zoe thinking, getting involved with a guy who wears a picture of her best friend around his neck? huh? No, no... we can't have that.
Okay, and for a quick note here, Zoe was supposed to ask Bandit to take off his mask BEFORE they had sex, but the silly author here *forgot* to put it in when she was writing up the chapter. (Slaps head) Sorry!
Oh, and I didn't realize I did this when I picked their names, but did anyone really have a problem with the fact that Zoe and Leo had such similar spelling names? Did it get you dyslexia people confused? (I got confused sometimes, and I'm not even dyslexic!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leo
Ah, the age old argument: why didn't Leo get any play? Sorry guys, but his character was actually the most thought out one in my head. His purpose of existence was to be exactly what he was: a supportive friend, looking out and over everybody. Watching. Observing. All-knowing. He doesn't get a girl. It just doesn't fit.
But he would most definitely love to go on a date with any fans of Misty Spotts. ^_~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, assuming I make major revisions concerning the timeline and the characters, do you think the ending would be more satisfying than this one? Is that missing any monumental thing that I just forgot or something?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that's definitely it. Woo! If you have anything to add, please feel free to do so! I hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed the story.
My torture of writing it is definitely over. Your comments and suggestions will be saved by me and put on standby until I am moved to start working on "Zoe" again. I had made up this entire story just over a year ago, but didn't start writing it all out until February or something. It's taken me about 6 months to complete it to this point. (I am so bound for a nice vacation!) You could probably tell that some each chapter differed in my enthusiasm of writing it. Some were so fun while others were complete torture. I just had to get it out so I could move on, knowing I'll just come back to fix things later.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading my story. I thoroughly appreciate your comments, suggestions, praise, and criticism!
Holy Crap! It's so DONE! Wow, I never thought I'd live to see the day... Ah, this feels SO good.
Okay, granted, it's just the first draft, but STILL, this is officially only my *third* ever finished story. And the other two weren't nearly as organized as this one, (and that's not saying much here).
I have TONS of questions for you guys. So, let's get started, shall we?
First of all, don't worry about grammar and spelling. Seriously. Don't worry about that. It all comes out cleaner with revisions, and minor technicalities like that don't matter right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Timeline
Okay, so when I started this story, I didn't really pay attention to the timeline. Overall, I think no more than 2 weeks have passed since the beginning, and that's no good. I had originally wanted the story to span out for several months. That way, Bandit's and Zoe's relationship could be more solid, and also, you could actually see the outcome of all of Zoe's effort in the garden when everything blooms in the spring. (I intentionally ignored the garden overall because I don't know anything about gardening.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Thieves
So, does anyone have any idea where Bandit and Pirate keep all their stolen treasures? Or where they hide their costumes? How they sneak away and never get caught by their parents? I sure as hell don't! I could probably have a ton of fun figuring that out. Should I include things like that?
Also, should I have more public discussions about the thieves? Everyone DOES know about them and wonder who they are and such, you know? Ooooh, police chases! (Bwahahahaa!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Characters
Sabina Olsen and her father- were supposed to be included throughout the story, where the thieves come for Zoe, but Sabina's there. Anyway, it obviously didn't work out. Shall I just get rid of them all together?
Hannah and Alexis- those two girls talking shit about Juliet. They had so much to say, but didn't last too long. Did it flow okay, though, or should I include them and other stray students from school somewhere into the story too?
Katherine- again, her significance is minimal. But should Zoe at least acknowledge her existence before randomly receiving a call from her?
Ian- more in the story? Or have we had enough of him? Even I'm wondering what happened with her relationship with him. How did it work out? Are they still together while Juliet is here trying to get Austin back? Or did they break up? What?
The Parents- Leo's mother and Austin's father don't last long in the story. Is that okay?
And Neptune and Socrates! Oh, my sweet imaginary kitties! Where did you go? Okay, so my plan with them was that they wouldn't be nice to strangers. Like when Juliet and Ian came over, Neptune and Socrates would scratch and hiss and stuff. Then, in a stray scene later in the story, Austin and Leo would be randomly placed in Zoe's home, and she'd wonder why Neptune and Socrates were nice to them. (Cuz the kitties like the thieves, duh!) Silly Zoe. How naive you are!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Overall Randomness
Should Austin show signs of being sore after being hit by Zoe's car?
Were the guns too random?
The sex was random. I got clear signals from you guys that you did NOT like that. I'll see what I can do. Some plans for the story really didn't come together like I thought they would. I think that can also be solved with fixing the timeline too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's Missing?
I'm wondering myself what kind of relationship the thieves have with Juliet. If I was in Zoe's position, I wouldn't ignore those issues like she did (ahem, like the author did). What's Zoe thinking, getting involved with a guy who wears a picture of her best friend around his neck? huh? No, no... we can't have that.
Okay, and for a quick note here, Zoe was supposed to ask Bandit to take off his mask BEFORE they had sex, but the silly author here *forgot* to put it in when she was writing up the chapter. (Slaps head) Sorry!
Oh, and I didn't realize I did this when I picked their names, but did anyone really have a problem with the fact that Zoe and Leo had such similar spelling names? Did it get you dyslexia people confused? (I got confused sometimes, and I'm not even dyslexic!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leo
Ah, the age old argument: why didn't Leo get any play? Sorry guys, but his character was actually the most thought out one in my head. His purpose of existence was to be exactly what he was: a supportive friend, looking out and over everybody. Watching. Observing. All-knowing. He doesn't get a girl. It just doesn't fit.
But he would most definitely love to go on a date with any fans of Misty Spotts. ^_~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, assuming I make major revisions concerning the timeline and the characters, do you think the ending would be more satisfying than this one? Is that missing any monumental thing that I just forgot or something?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that's definitely it. Woo! If you have anything to add, please feel free to do so! I hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed the story.
My torture of writing it is definitely over. Your comments and suggestions will be saved by me and put on standby until I am moved to start working on "Zoe" again. I had made up this entire story just over a year ago, but didn't start writing it all out until February or something. It's taken me about 6 months to complete it to this point. (I am so bound for a nice vacation!) You could probably tell that some each chapter differed in my enthusiasm of writing it. Some were so fun while others were complete torture. I just had to get it out so I could move on, knowing I'll just come back to fix things later.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading my story. I thoroughly appreciate your comments, suggestions, praise, and criticism!