What would happen if vegetables could talk? Would they complain all the time, or crack jokes? Would they be friendly or would they be mean?

If vegetables could talk, we would all have trouble eating salad. Could you imagine cutting open something that can talk, begging you not to cut it? Just imagine "Oh no! Please don't cut me open! I'm not ready to be a salad yet! I'm so young. Please don't!"

If vegetable talked, they would have petitions against cooking vegetables. They'd make signs that said "Dessert is good!" and "Say No to cooked veggies!" then march with them across the kitchen counter shouting thing like "Eat more fruit!" and "Save the veggies!".

They could have marriages, "Do you, Green Bean McDonnell, take Petunia Pea to be your lawful wedded wife?" They could also have funerals, "We stand here, in the peelings of a good potato, who, I sadly say, was boiled two days ago. Let us remember the good things, and comfort his wife, Sophie Spud."

The teenage veggies would play careless games like Truth or Dare. "Dare? I dare you to pluck out Granny Apple's stem!" And the girl teenage veggies would baby-sit the baby carrots. "Oh, come on Sprout. Don't cry."

The little veggies would go to school. They would learn counting "One little, two little, three little brussel sprouts.", reading "And the ugly cucumber turned into a lovely pickle, and lived happily ever after.", and science "It is an acidic vegetable".

The vegetables would have court cases and government. "Your Honor, this celery stick here was seen deliberately squishing a pea."

They would tell horror stories and watch movies with titles like "The Salad Shooter Returns" and "The Okra that got Fried".

The veggies would host parties in the produce section, after closing of course. They would have streamers, multi-colored lights, and a DJ. They would dance to songs like "Dangerous Stew" and "Carrot Fixation".

I think that veggies would be a lot like people, if they could talk. I think that we could get along, if people wouldn't eat them anymore. We would live together, in unity, happily ever after. Except for the vegetarians, of course.