What Can I Do?

By Tara Nicole Walker

9.19.2002

Dedicated to an abusive mother who doesn't know when enough is enough.

It's oh, so subtle

Hardly noticeable at all

But when it explodes then disappears

I always expect for it not to come back

Poor, naive me

A fool taking the fall

It doesn't really matter what I say

I'm always rewarded with a slap

It's not so much that

In itself

That burdens my soul

With an undeniable wrath

It's that my protective instincts come into play

From myself

As she sends them tumbling and screaming

While she stands there like nothing's wrong and laughs

I can deal with myself

Yes, me I can handle

I may be smaller but I'm stronger

And could defend myself if need be

No one else seems to understand

As if ignoring the flame from the only candle

They stand there and watch

How is it that they can't see?

We've had bruises left and right

On our faces

Our arms

And she pulls our hair

But not one of us can lift a finger to help each other

Because in our cases

That's something

That we just can't dare

They say that there are answers

For things that happen like this

But you never realize how hard it is to find just one

Until you're trapped in this sort of labyrinth

When you stand back and look from afar

There are most definitely certain entities that you miss

But when you are trapped in the middle of it

All you can think is how you wish you could protect the second through the fifth

But you can't

Because you can't dare

And what's real becomes clouded

With what's true

I would sell my soul

To protect them and keep them from being scared

But think about it…

What can I do?