What Can I Do?
By Tara Nicole Walker
9.19.2002
Dedicated to an abusive mother who doesn't know when enough is enough.
It's oh, so subtle
Hardly noticeable at all
But when it explodes then disappears
I always expect for it not to come back
Poor, naive me
A fool taking the fall
It doesn't really matter what I say
I'm always rewarded with a slap
It's not so much that
In itself
That burdens my soul
With an undeniable wrath
It's that my protective instincts come into play
From myself
As she sends them tumbling and screaming
While she stands there like nothing's wrong and laughs
I can deal with myself
Yes, me I can handle
I may be smaller but I'm stronger
And could defend myself if need be
No one else seems to understand
As if ignoring the flame from the only candle
They stand there and watch
How is it that they can't see?
We've had bruises left and right
On our faces
Our arms
And she pulls our hair
But not one of us can lift a finger to help each other
Because in our cases
That's something
That we just can't dare
They say that there are answers
For things that happen like this
But you never realize how hard it is to find just one
Until you're trapped in this sort of labyrinth
When you stand back and look from afar
There are most definitely certain entities that you miss
But when you are trapped in the middle of it
All you can think is how you wish you could protect the second through the fifth
But you can't
Because you can't dare
And what's real becomes clouded
With what's true
I would sell my soul
To protect them and keep them from being scared
But think about it…
What can I do?