If People Could Be Eaten

by Megan Christine Auffart

If people could be eaten,
Maybe virtue flavors best
So that the sinner's sausage
Is distressing to digest
And maybe then the pieces
Of a priest are highly prized
And sold for absurd prices
All depending how they're sized

And maybe God is hungry
And that's why He's often said
That in place of all the sinners
He likes holy men instead
So that way, inside heaven
There is but an iron pan
Filled with chopped tomatoes
And some strips of sautéed man

If that's the case, my theory
Should indeed make me esteemed
For I would not be eaten
Nor flambéed or stewed or creamed
Although I've tried my hardest
To improve my holy score
The awful fact remains
That I am rotten to the core