Adventures in Honors English 10!

Okay, for those who don't know, I am 15 (this should be fairly obvious if you read my stuff) Actually, I am very smart. No, not just bragging cough. But really, I'm in an Honors English class. So far almost everything I've written is nuts, but I CAN write good stuff! Really!

Anyway. As we all well know, today's "intelligent" and "creative" people aren't always "sane" or "normal". Couldn't be any truer in my English class. These are the assorted tales of us, put up whenever I have the time. Oh, and I am Caitlin.

Episode 1: Getting and Putting Up a Big Piece of Paper

Caitlin and Laura were annoyed. Both (BOTH!) of their draw-ers were absent that day. The Illustrated Man, a project their class was doing based on the Bradbury book could not be completed. He was to be a collaboration of drawings. Now he was missing lower back! Not that they could blame Rob and Irene. They both were Jewish, and in the process of celebrating Yom Kippur.

The two girls took the issue to their teacher, Mrs. Augenstein. Mrs. Augenstein was very nice. She said their part of the project could be turned in the next day. But the girls had nothing to do. They couldn't sit around doing nothing. So Mrs. Augenstein sent Laura and Caitlin on a mission. Their mission, should they chose to accept it, was to get and put up the paper the project would be put on. Easy enough, right? Wrong.

Caitlin and Laura set out on their journey. They turned left after leaving the room and walked . . .and walked . . .and walked. At last they reached a small second hallway, which they turned right into. After walking for about two seconds, they reached a third hallway. Again they walked . . .and walked . . .and walked. Suddenly they both froze, and turned, disbelievingly down a fourth hallway. This small hallway was about as long as the second, and went directly from their room to where they stood now.

"You don't have to tell anyone about this. I am not dumb. I am smart. Tell them I am the smartest person in the entire school" Laura told Caitlin. Caitlin could not speak, seeing as she was laughing so hard she could barley breathe. Still, she nodded obediently. The two girls continued to the library, thinking the worst was behind them. They could not have been more wrong.

The girls reached the library. They looked around, eager to find "the rack of very large rolls of paper". But they could not see it anywhere. So the waited a full 5 minutes for someone to come and show them where the paper racks were. "We're supposed to get white, right?" Caitlin asked. Laura shrugged. They set in on the white paper anyway. Bad idea.

After rolling out what they thought was the right amount of paper, Laura and Caitlin attempted to rip the paper off. One . . . inch . . . at . . . a . . . time. After another 5 minutes (Note that many things seem to happen in 5 minute-intervals here) The lady who'd showed them the paper in the first place retuned and ripped the second sheet free in about 2 seconds (And 2 seconds seems to be used a lot, too) For some reason, the lady was quite annoyed.

Caitlin and Laura returned to class and reported their journey and recover-ings to Ms. Augensien. She informed them that they were supposed to get black paper. Mr. Illustrated Man would show up better on said paper, since he was drawn on white construction paper himself. But she let that issue go. The girls thought they were home free. They should have known better.

Now Laura and Caitlin had to stick the paper to the wall. Easier said than done. This task involved Caitlin holding the paper up to the wall with her arms spread like a bird's. Laura stood on tiptoe as she attempted to secure the paper to the wall with duct tape. This was the moment Ms. Augenstien chose to check on her pupils. And, horror of horrors, she informed them the paper they'd retrieved was not only on the wrong color, but also the wrong size. They stared in openmouthed disbelief, but there was no denying: They had no choice but to return to the library.

So off they trudged once more. (This time they took the fast route to their destination) Once there they waited nervously for 5 minutes (5 minutes! HAH!) For someone to help them. They were not sure that lady would appreciate another visit from the "two idiot nutcase girls who were supposed to be in a honors class". But the lady didn't need to help them. A nice boy came to their aid instead.

The nice boy was shocked at the amount of paper they needed, and it took about 5 minutes (There it is again!) getting the paper, ripping it free and gathering it up to go. Finally, with each of the holding a piece of BLACK paper bigger than the two of them combined, Laura and Caitlin staggered back to their classroom, overcoming such challenges as doors while in the process.

Laura and Caitlin returned and spent 5 minutes (Agaiiiin!) flipping the giant papers over and over on the ground to get the in the right direction and on the right side. After about 5 minutes (sense an obsession starting?), several classmates came to their aid. Still, it took Laura tripping over the paper and other such evens for them to get the paper ready to go. This was a (take a wild guess) 5-minute process. (HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!)

The last step involved attaching the paper to the wall but which wall? They spent . . .you know how long . . .deciding the answer to his question. Caitlin ripped an ad of the wall to make room for the poster, but they decided to put in on the other wall, and Caitlin stuck the ad back with an annoyed air. At last their job was done, with just 5 minutes left in class.

Caitlin and Laura stood back to examine their work. It was very nice, and so it should be what with the 55 minutes of time they put into it. They even had their pictures taken with it. And when the Illustrated Man was at last set up, he looked very nice, even if he was missing his lower back.

The End . . .or is it?

As an update to this situation, the class returned the next day to two shocks - Ms. Augenstien was absent almost all class, while the class had no substitute. And when she returned in the last 10 minutes, she informed her class that the Illustrated Man had been STOLEN!

Caitlin and Laura would say more on this situation, but they are currently tearing out their hair. If you listen very hard, maybe you can hear them screaming . . .because, understandably enough, they still are, even to this day, a whole entire . . . less than a week later.

The End. Really.

A/N- this story in completely true. Every moment of it. Well, except maybe the tearing the hair out part. Our hair is too beautiful, and our vocal chords too delicate for such a thing as that * cough * yeah right * cough * I hope to write more of these adventures. I know for a fact more will pop up, but I can only write them if am not covered in homework. In the meantime . . . be glad you're not me; regret you're not me, whatever. Your choice. And it really is hard to decide, now, isn't it? I thought so.