touch my virgin light
empty without luminescence
caressed by feminine eyes
mirror of glorious Eve
Zoe became stuck in the middle of writing the poem. Not surprising, she thought, considering it was the first love poem she had ever put any serious thought into. Silly thing; most of the poems were random time-wasters, merely meant to distract her and explore the emotions growing inside of her. The poems were always kept secret, though, for anyone able to confiscate them would quickly see her sexual urges drifted from the norm.
Sitting in the Senior Language Arts class, she wished she had never grown up. The Great Gatsby book upon her desk made her think of when Daisy said she wished her daughter would grow up to be a beautiful, little fool. She often felt that she wished she was; perhaps Fitzgerald was on to something.
Why did she feel that way sometimes, besides the fact that the world seemed more screwed up with each passing year, she thought to herself. The answer say two seats away from her in the form of Samantha, the lovely Samantha. Zoe peeked at her from the corners of her eyes, gazing at her flowing red hair and piercing blue eyes. She was very pretty, something she kept to herself in her shyness. Samantha was much more beautiful than her, she was sure. Her hair was black and incredibly short, and her eyes were hazel; how unattractive.
Wait, where was she going with this line of thought? She inwardly shook her head, meaning not to gain attention from anyone. The class continued working on their silent projects, while she attempted to resume her poetry writing. Her mechanical pencil tapped noisily upon the notebook while she tried to focus her creative thoughts upon her strange emotions, upon Sam...
End of the day and the week at last... Zoe was glad it was Friday, and school was finally done for the week. No projects needed to be worked on; she was free for the whole weekend.
Closing her locker, she heard Sam say as she approached on the right, "Hey Zoe, how's the Martian rebellion coming along?"
Darn their anime infatuation, and Z.O.E.; could she help it if she liked Zone Of The Enders so much? Smiling to her friend's light-hearted joke as she looked to her, Zoe commented amusingly, "Hey Sammy, what's up?"
Samantha growled in mock-anger at her hated use of her name. Laughing innocently afterwards, she brushed aside a few strands of hair in a manner so casual and yet so lovely. Zoe was careful not to get lost in staring this time, having almost blown her cover of heterosexuality before.
Standing beside each other, Sam asked, "Hey, y' wanna come over t' my house tomorrow for another movie party?"
Another chance to be with her? Of course. "Sure. Who else'll be there?"
She paused a moment, almost in obvious hesitance, before answering, "Well, Tracy has a Sociology paper to do, Jessica's seein' her boyfriend all weekend, and Blake, well, after the last movie party, I don't think we can trust him at late hours with young females any more." They shared a small laugh at that before Sam stated the obvious yet enticing final result: "It'll be just us."
Zoe's heart instantly skipped a beat at the wonderful situation, though she quickly scolded herself inwardly. After all, regardless of how her emotions had been shifting toward her best friend, she should not be thinking so... perversely.
After a moment long enough for her friend to complete her mental battle, Sam added, "If that's okay."
Not thinking out her words first, Zoe accidentally slipped, "Of course. You know I love spending time with you."
She realized what she had said the moment afterward, causing her to scream inwardly, Crap! Damn it! I didn't mean to say that! Crap, crap, crap!
Sam seemed to miraculously not notice the context of the words, merely continuing to smile with Zoe. Finally, she said, "Okay then. Same time as usual. G'bye."
They exchanged small waves before Sam wandered off to go to her student council meeting. Once her friend's eyes were averted, Zoe carried herself all the way around a corner and to the top of the stairs before a terrible blush filled her cheeks and her hands flew up to cover her face. What the hell was she doing? Why was she acting this way? Well, she knew why she was acting this way, but why could she not be a bit more careful about the way she went about it? These feelings for her best friend were driving her insane...
Uselessly fixing her hair first, Zoe readjusted her purse and backpack before heading through the school and out to the parking lot, trying her best to keep her thoughts occupied. She did not want to think about the endless love poems, the guilty fantasies, and the constant, lovely image of Sam in her mind's eye. As soon as she was situated in her car, she inserted her favorite Police CD, and soon she was singing, "De do do do, de da da da, is all I want to say to you. De do do do, de da da da, their innocence will pull me through."
Perhaps, she thought, that's how it'll be with Sam. I don't know what to say, but perhaps I'll still pull through.
Zoe sat uselessly at the computer, her Grape Crush sitting half-empty on the desk. It was nearly eight at night now, yet she was not ready to attempt restless sleep again amidst dreams of ridiculous encounters with Sam. Now she was just reading random fiction on her favorite website. The arrow drifted about endless stories, yet none of them seemed interesting tonight, now did any reflect her life. Any lesbian romance stories she found seemed too artificial, or, as one satirical author described it, both parties just suddenly wanted to lick each other one fine day out of the blue. As much as she wandered to normal heterosexual stories, she could not help but change the characters into herself and Sam each time, even with the lemons, which tended to creep her out from her roaming imagination. Why did she think so much this way?
To attempt to distract herself from her wandering thoughts, she was playing in her CD player the Zenyatta Mondatta album by The Police again, this time singing "Canary In A Coalmine:" "Must you pull over when the atmosphere is less than perfect? You say stabilities are shaken by the slightest defect. You leave your love like your canary in a coalmine. You get so dizzy even walkin' in a straight line." She loved that album so much.
Why was she so afraid of these feelings she might have? If she... loved Sam, what was so wrong with outright confessing it? Starting lowest: people as a general rule hate homosexuals; there were movies such as The Laramie Project just to prove that one. Next step: any little nugget of information like this would spread through school like wildfire, and she would certainly be pariahed. After that: her friends; what if they would not accept her, especially since Blake used "gay" in a derogatory sense on a daily basis? Nearly last: her parents; that could be dreadful, especially since her mother was expecting lots of grandchildren. Worst of all: Samantha; what if she was not attracted to her, or even worse yet, what if she hated her completely for such feelings? The rejection would simply hurt too much...
An Instant Message popped up on the computer screen, reading: "LovelyRose: Hey, Zoe!"
If not for her constantly wandering thoughts, she would have smiled at Sam's sudden appearance. Instead, she merely clicked on the "Respond" button and typed: "Hey, Sam. Nice to see you again." Her words appeared next to the screen name ZOEfighter; so she really liked the series...
"LovelyRose: What'cha up to? Reading fiction and listening to Police again?"
Zoe smirked at that. "ZOEfighter: You really know all about me, don't you?"
"LovelyRose: I like to think so. ^_^"
Her smirk faded as she analyzed the conjunction of those two lines. Did Samantha... No, she was just getting confused.
"LovelyRose: I got Silence of the Lambs for tomorrow. How about you?"
Oh yeah. "ZOEfighter: Well, I could bring Zone of the Enders: Idolo, ^_^ but I thought I'd bring Metropolis instead."
"LovelyRose: Ooooo, good choice. ^_^"
Yeah... A long pause ensued; perhaps that was what prompted Sam to ask: "LovelyRose: What are you thinking about, Zoe?"
Was it so obvious? Unsure what to really say, she typed, "ZOEfighter: Too much lately..."
"LovelyRose: Please stop destroying yourself. I care about you too much to watch you hurt yourself this way."
She cared about her... or maybe she was pulling false meanings out of simple words. She had to be confusing things here... Still...
"ZOEfighter: Thank you, Sam."
"LovelyRose: *big hug* ^_^"
Zoe was not the least bit surprised to find the biggest smile on Sam's face as her friend greeted her at the door to her home. The light from inside made her almost appear like an angel, illuminating her beautiful features.
Rather unexpectedly, Sam put her hands on her hips as she smirked and said, "Y' gonna stand there staring at me all night, or y' gonna come inside?"
Zoe was barely given the time to blush before Sam pulled her inside. Her friend led her to her bedroom, her pajamas already laid out on the bed. Setting her bag down softly on the floor, Zoe looked around Samantha's bedroom a bit. Everything was anime and clothes and pictures. One special picture in a shiny, fake-diamond frame showed the two of them hugging tightly and smiling into the camera, their cheeks pressed together. She loved the times they were together like that, even if she was reluctant to admit it.
She was so distracted by the photo that she barely noticed Sam was undressing to change into her pajamas until her friend was standing in only her undergarments. Zoe felt the blood rushing to her face, especially as Samantha finally happened to glance at her. Stop it, she thought. This isn't different than any other time you've seen her undressing. Stop it! Look away!
Zoe inwardly screamed commands at herself because her body seemed to not be responding. At last, she looked away, tending to her bag to change into her own pajamas. As she removed her shirt, Zoe thought she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Sam herself was blushing. Was she imagining things or just seeing red? Maybe the sooner they laid down, the better.
Within moments, they were both changed into their pajamas. Sam's had little stars and moons on them, while Zoe's had chibi Gundam Wing characters on them, something that always amused her. They quickly went to the living room afterwards, where Sam had already set up her PS2, flower blanket, and few stuffed animals. The lights were dimmed low, as it was already night outside, and Zoe intended to fall asleep out here with her anyway.
She plopped down in the center of the comfy sofa situated opposite the television, while Sam inserted the Metropolis DVD into the game system and allowed it to start on its own. Samantha sat left of Zoe, in the corner, then began pressing buttons on the game controller to actually start the anime. Soon, the rather un-Japanese big bang music filled the room, and Zoe tried to force herself to calm down more. Just because Sam was sitting mere inches away from her did not mean she should be feeling any different... Passing through her mind rather guiltily was the stray thought that she was thankful Sam's parents' bedroom was all the way on the other side of the house.
Distracting her momentarily was Samantha's placing the flower blanket upon both of them. Zoe began to feel tingles from her friend's gentle smoothing of the blanket upon them. She gazed at her in response, and found Samantha lightly smiling back. The casual glance extended a few seconds, then a few more, until after what felt like an eternity staring at beauty they both seemed to realize what they were doing and looked away in embarrassment, refocusing their eyes on the TV.
That image constantly flashed in Zoe's mind, her desire for her friend increasing. She could not help but long to touch that gorgeous face, caress her wonderful hair, place a kiss upon those lovely lips... She almost felt ready to cry; why did she have to feel all these emotions towards Samantha? Why could she not just pine for the boys, the hunky guys that constantly fought for her attention? If most of her other friends could gossip over guys and talk about the dirty things they did, why could she not? Why was she so alone in this world? How long could her unwavering infatuation with Sam last to keep her going? How long could she pretend to be heterosexual?
As long as Sam was still here, still her friend, still being caught in tiny acts that could be construed as similar to her own, she had to believe she had a chance. Was that not what "normal" people thought in "normal" relationships? Love is always a game of chance, no matter what field you are playing on. She had to believe that there was still the slightest chance that she and Sam could be together. After all, if she gave up completely on love, especially without taking that chance, then what was there to live for?
Zoe continued glancing at Sam as inconspicuously as she could, her thoughts all in a flutter. What could she do? How could she confess her feelings? She could not just let out all of the emotion inside of her, because such a desperate, powerful desire could overwhelm Sam, regardless of her sexual orientation. She had to be smooth... That sounded so corny; it was true, though. Her mind began to play out all sorts of movie scenarios and her own fantasies, some a bit more sensual than she would ever really commit. Unfortunately, she had no good models or ideas to go off of. Sure, there were all sorts of movies and such with males going for the arm around the shoulders or attempting to steal a kiss, but any lesbian romances were strictly rolling around and fondling and licking, all of which were highly unlikely in real life: Muholland Drive was a painfully bad reminder of unrealistic lesbian romance.
What would she do then? What would she do...? Her brain finally interpreted the fact that Sam was laying into the corner of the couch, her eyelids starting to droop ever so slightly. Maybe... Maybe she could gently lay into her, onto her, whatever. She could just go for the "casual" snuggling. It would probably not set off too many bells and whistles screaming "homo" at her, and would still be at least the slightest bit intimate. Yes, that was what she would do.
Zoe's eyes remained on her beloved target, and leaned her body at such a slow rate that Sam could not possible notice. She was going to be as discreet as possible; she would have to be, no doubt. Closer, closer... She quickly bolted back to normal the moment she realized Sam was rising from the couch and advancing towards the PS2. Zoe inwardly smacked herself on the head: the movie had just ended.
Sam took the time to switch the Metropolis DVD with the Silence of the Lambs one, then proceeded to completely turn off the lights. Zoe could not help but wonder if the dimming of the lights was intentional for mood, mood for romance, that is, not mood for creepy movie. The movie was soon starting, and Sam had resumed her previous position.
This was it. This was it. This was it. As quietly as she could manage, Zoe took repeated deep breaths, trying to subdue the nervous and excited tingles raging through her body. At last, bathed in the mild light created by the bright gray day scene on the TV, Zoe gently laid herself upon her best friend. To her thankful surprise, Sam offered no resistance and actually placed an arm around her, resting her hand on Zoe's stomach. The tingles of pleasure from such an intimate hold were so overwhelming to Zoe that she quickly forgot all worries about sexualities and acceptances and inhibitions. This was her private, wonderful moment with the girl she loved, and nothing was going to spoil this rapturous state of euphoria.
Zoe's head rested on Sam's soft breasts, though illicit fantasies derivable from such a situation were not what entered her mind, but rather the casual notice that her love's heartbeat seemed to match her own. That pounding, maybe pounding for her, was enough to fully distract her from this movie, as well. Admittedly, she wanted so much to... "touch" Samantha, but she was perfectly content with their hold upon each other now.
When Hannibal Lector made his initial, creepy appearance upon the screen, shivers of quick fear ran through Sam's body and passed through Zoe's, as well. The quick, involuntary action seemed to almost fully define the harmony of their bodies together, and perhaps that was what caused Zoe to turn over and stare directly into Sam's eyes, those beautiful, blue eyes. They were staring at each other, a slight pink in both their cheeks. Time froze for them to share this moment staring into beauty. So many thoughts and emotions swirled around inside of Zoe, and they seemed to do the same in Sam. Did she really feel the same?
Unconsciously but not unwantedly, Zoe's hand reached up to caress Samantha's lovely face, so delicate, so beautiful. Her mind kept screaming, Kiss her! Kiss her!, but it was not until Sam returned a hand upon her face that she decided she should. So slowly, so carefully, both of them gently leaned towards each other, their eyes closing to savor the moment. Bathed in the warmth of their love and hold, Zoe and Samantha shared a taste of each other's lips, touching them together so softly, so sensually, that it was greater than any Hollywood fantasy, any guilty dream they could ever imagine. It held for so long that the feeling almost remained when they pulled apart at last. Their eyes fluttered open after a few moments delay, and the love they felt for each other was so strongly reflected in them, blue upon hazel, that the girls could not help but softly moan each other's names and kiss again, then again, each new pleasure rivaling the last. Zoe and Sam soon feel asleep in each other's arms, a light in the darkness, a sign that love can defy all boundaries, even gender. Tomorrow would be the greatest day of their lives, for love would make everything better, and they would never be scared or lonely ever again.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I used a lot of product names, etc. that don't belong to me, and all belong to their respective owners, yet obviously the story and everything else inside belongs to me.
While I'm disclaiming, I might as well make a few statements. I don't know what brought this story on, and I'm not really sure how anyone that knows me will take it. What can I say: I am a slave to my whims of insperation.
Do not flame this story if you're a homophobe/devote Bible worshiper trying to tell me that I and Zoe and Sam will all go to hell for our views, etc. when I gave explicit warning before you got here, and you really need to get a life if all you do is go to random yaoi/yuri stories and flame the authors because of your own sexual insecurities. Keep your hidebound views to yourselves.
If there's any readers of the f/f persuasion, I'm a heterosexual male, so please let me know if I'm on the right track here.
Before anyone asks, no, I'm not really planning to add to this, but if there's enough popular demand, I may be so inclined. ^_^