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I am a young writer, but I've been writing ever since I could hold a pencil.

The problem lies in the fact that I can never get anyone to really critique my stuff.

I'm thirteen, in case you were wondering. I live in a small town in Louisiana. If you know anything about the people of LA, you know that we're not all the sharpest chainsaws in the bloody shed. ;) This is mighty fine when you can kick back and laugh at them. However, I am in dire need of help with my writing! I thought I might find someone here willing to help a young soul.

Here is a link to my current zombie book project, one I actually intend to COMPLETE: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2975175/1/Counting_Worms

I do hope you have the constitution not to laugh at me too much. =.=

Please visit it and tell me of any troubles you had with getting through any chapter. I am working on adding the rest in. I'm currently on #15 as we speak. I work every day, but it's still a painfully slow process.

Please reply and review!


12/4/2011 . Edited 12/4/2011 #1
Eternal Skies
I don't read much zombie (read: not at all) but I checked out your writing and I think it's pretty good for a thirteen year old. It's okay to be harsh on yourself a little (so you constantly improve) but have some faith in yourself :) Don't know what the remark about being from a Louisiania small town has to do with anything; people from small towns have their own quirky perks XP *** Comment on actual writing (I didn't post it as a review 'cause I didn't read-read it, I skimmed through the first chapter since I'm not a zombie fan): ---The bold text really hurts the eyes when it's the whole chapter, so just turn it back to normal. It would be more appealing :) ---Thank you for actually knowing proper grammar/spelling 'cause it drives me up a wall every time I read something that sounds like it was written by someone illiterate. Though there were some places where commas weren't needed or a sentence would've been better structured differently. ---If you're planning this to be a novel-length story (I guess you are if you're on chapter 15), I suggest for you not to insert direct character qualities. Of course, there should some sort of introduction in the first chapter so your readers don't feel lost, but try to be as subtle as much as you can about your characters. Readers enjoy reading it more when they figure out how a character ticks (or sometimes never do--it's fun to analyze them on your own). You can write your chapter without trying to be subtle, but then go back and edit it at places where you think you can do more "show" than "tell". So, less of direct descriptions like: "Cheryl was loyal and trusting, hard-working and smart, and friendly and upbeat." and more of showing it indirectly; through actions and words...etc *** These are just general suggestions, but I couldn't resist! My heart goes out for you; I've been through the same because I wanted some constructive criticism to improve and no one even cared to review. Wish ya all the luck, girl !! :D P.S.: Sorry for the long post. Nothing can stop me when I get carried away. I'm sixteen, by the way. Not that much older than you ;3
12/7/2011 #2
Eternal Skies
OMG! The format is just messed up.
12/7/2011 #3
Wow! :D Thanks so much for the review! Yeah, I know it's kind of obvious in the first chapter. =w=" I was going crazy trying to figure out what the heck to make them say, but nothing came to me. I was eventually just like, "Screw it! Let's go last-resort mode." xD Yeah, about the small town thing. :| We're a hunting town and all, so we... Well, Louisiana is not a scholar's place by any means. xD There are "original" people everywhere, but they're just harder to find in a small town surrounded by other small towns. Especially since we're a military town where people constantly come and go. It doesn't help that I'm a introvert, either. xD I know quite a few intelligent kids my age here, I do! It's just that either they only read "Twilight" type stuff and don't have a scrap of creativity in them, or that they're too full of themselves to even take a look at my stuff. =.= My friend Brit LOVES even the rough copies I give to her. Obviously, she's no help. xD **RAMBLING** Oh, my! I hope it wasn't too boring to read through! xD I sometimes feel like it is, but I have no idea what to do about it. o^o I'm a shy writer, so when I DO get up the courage to ask someone to read my stuff in person, it doesn't go over well, probably because of my insecure nature. My own mother, who is a great writer in her own right (no pun intended xD), just kind of looked at me funny and asked me what I meant by "look over it." =w=" Grah! The great font issue! xD The original version was printed in Times New Roman, 12-point, no-bold. My friend Brit said to me, "It would be better in Arial. Do it bold, too." So, I did. Another girl said Calibri was more user-friendly, so I switched to Calibri. I guess I didn't think about the fact that they aren't the best advisers in the world. xD I'll be sure to switch the bold off sometime~ xD I try for good grammar, I do. I have my weaknesses, though. I suppose that's obvious. ^.^" If you'd like, you could take down some notes for me sometime on the sentence structure issues. Of course, I'm not MAKING you. xD I just like to try things out differently. I zoom through my writing, so I don't always sound fantastic. xD Thanks for the criticism! :D It helped a lot. Now I know what to look for when I go back over it. Yeah, it's hard to get reviews sometimes. :/ I get the visitors and the hits, but it's just the reviews I really want! I love long posts! xD I tend to go on and on in my own. :D It's always refreshing to meet another young, serious writer! We don't have enough of those where I live! xD Ciao, and good luck to you, as well!~ (I'm making a visit to your profile after this~)
12/7/2011 #4
Yeah, the format sucks for these forum posts. =w="
12/7/2011 #5
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