A Place Outside the Closet
For anyone who is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Transexual, Two Spirited. We can discuss our problems, think of new poems to write, and build a community of understanding and support. Open your mind, open the closet.
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Just a vague topic of anyone you like, have liked, and how you dealt with it. For me, (read my poems, you'll understand), it's a guy who I am positive is straight, but keeps doing things to make me question it. I have not made a move as to not ruin our friendship. I want him so bad, but I just want him to be around. Read my Poems and please, PLEASE review, I need feedback. Also let me know of any of your poems, I will read them.
8/12/2007 #1
~a.kiss.without.any.shame here i'm not exactly gay, or a lesbain or anything, but i'm a girl who's in love with this other girl. i'm not in love with girls (like the gender of girls, i think guys are cute, and i'm not really attracted to any other girls), but my mom, i think, still thinks i go that way. not that there's anything wrong with that. i get bashed by silent criticism and weird looks everyday because ppl think i'm gay. so i sort know how it feels. but we're really open with ppl now. it was a bit...i wanna say embarassing-sort of-in the beginning, especially with telling our parents, but we got through it together. just wanted to lend my support to everyone out there. UR NOT ALONE!
10/31/2007 #2
I don't think that love can really be described in those terms. love is what it is; the relationship between two souls. gender, appearance, sexual orientation.....none of that matters in the face of the most amazing thing on earth.
3/3/2008 #3
Personally I know it doesn't matter, but it does to other people. Love is what it is, whomever it may be directed at. I like my boyfriend, hell, I love him. My parents don't understand, but they are trying. It's all I can ask for. I am who I am, and not everyone has to like me... but don't hate me for being myself. Because I hated myself for trying to be someone I'm not, and that right there is the hardest part of being gay.
3/3/2008 #4
i guess that i am very blessed in the respect that my friends and family all support and accept who i am, although they may not understand it. but through all my experiences, i've come to the realization that love may go unrequited no matter who you fall for, and it's unfortunate, but we take that risk in order to receive a greater reward. we are soldiers, all of us, in a long and wearying battle to find the people who will matter. i believe that, eventually, everyone will win their fight.
3/3/2008 #5
People who are homosexual/homoromantic are not the only people who must go throught things like that. Anyone who loves someone that others think they shouldn't probably goes through things like that. I know this from experience, you do not have to love someone of the same sex to go through what "gays" go through.
3/8/2008 #6
that's true. i also have experienced difficulty in biracial relationships, which is absolutely ridiculous in this day and age, but it did happen. age differences and differences in credences also can cause discrimination. like i said, love is soul to soul.
3/11/2008 #7
I understand where both of you are coming from, and especially the biracial one in particular. It's understandable that all people comprehend the hardships of love, no matter who they love, which makes gay love that much more right in my opinion. But to clarify what I mean about gay love: it is more so within societal barriers than the inability to date the person due to class differences, or your mother not liking who you are dating. No matter who you bring home, the response could very well be the same. My boyfriend is an amazing guy, and my parents know him, and are trying to understand us and what we share. But they don't have to. They just have to accept me, because in doing that they will have accepted him. They like him as a person, but not as my boyfriend; yet.
3/12/2008 #8
well, good luck. but they do say that all things come in time.
3/12/2008 #9
[q]it is more so within societal barriers than the inability to date the person due to class differences, or your mother not liking who you are dating.[/q] Again, this is something that is not exclusive to homosexuals/homoromantics. And again, I know this from personal experience. There are societal barriers that have caused much discrimination to fall upon my beloved and I, and we are not a same-sex couple. I am male and my beloved is female. Yet we have still been discriminated against and viewed as wrong due to a certain age difference. Also, the inability to be together due to class differences is because of societal barriers saying that it is wrong. I am not saying homosexuals/homoromantics do not face discrimination, but I am saying that discrimination is not exclusive to them.
3/12/2008 . Edited 3/12/2008 #10
I know I've been in love with someone I can never really have before (Still am, darnint) But it isn't always just social barriers or personal barriers that hold you back from a real relationship. Sometimes you love someone who you would just not be very good with. By the way, has this thread gotten off topic, or is that just me?
3/16/2008 #11
"Also, the inability to be together due to class differences is because of societal barriers saying that it is wrong. I am not saying homosexuals/homoromantics do not face discrimination, but I am saying that discrimination is not exclusive to them" Nor am I, but I just consider being a homosexual as having specific hardships that other couples do not face as promidently. Just as well, all other couplings face a similar fate. It's just people's inability to let others' do what is needed in their own happiness. They are not harming anyone, not even themselves. It's the other people placing the harm on them making it hard to be who we really are, and love who we really love. I hope your situation gets better, in that sense, I hope other people realize you love who you love, and they love you.
3/17/2008 #12
okay, yes, this topic has gotten a bit off of where it started out but i think this was going to happen anyway. being gay does have its hardships. i guess i havent experienced the full hardship of it yet b/c ppl in my school know that i'm gay, i think, but they just leave me alone b/c of it. im happy with the way things are for now but i still wish that they could accept gays in general. love is love no matter what or who is in it....if that made any sence. but i also blame society in general. different sex relationships are the majority. thats why same sex or different race relationships are looked down upon. the minorites are the ones that hurt the most.
4/1/2008 #13
Minorites will always be just that. The people in the majority will usually take on of serval approaches, either the will look down on/try to hurt the minoritie or they will feel sorry for them and try to 'help.' However, people generally always think that they are right and everyone else is wrong. If they think opposite sex is the way to go, they will try and get you to see it the same way. Same for those of the same gender, we don't want them to control us any more than they want to feel controled by us. It is just a mindset.
4/1/2008 #14

but you see, this is what I love about, well, love. It's the same for everyone. One of my friends (girl) likes another girl. another one of my friends (girl) likes a boy. Neither of the others like them back. yea, it's different but they both feel the same rejection.

sorry, that's kind of off topic, but i just felt like saying it.

5/3/2008 #15

I'm in love with my best friend, who is straight, and we're complete opposites and its the knowing that feeling like this will never ever come to anything that hurts the most. Luckily i can let some of those feeling out through poetry, which helps a lot.



5/10/2008 #16

well, wwould you rather let them go or just keep them close? being in love with your bf isnt a bad thing. sure, its hard b/c you want that person and you cant have them but...i think thats human nature. to want something that you cant have. it hurts alot to feel rejection but youll be fine. X3

6/4/2008 #17

i also think that if you truly love someone, that you would give them your whole self to make them happy. if making them happy means hiding something that would damage them then maybe distance is best. i've made huge self-sacrifices for the one that i loved. life was...not very good for me for a long time but i knew that i did the right thing in letting him be happy without me. but...nowadays we're really good friends...even closer then we were during our relationship. things work out for the better, even though it doesn't always seem like it

6/6/2008 #18
Indred Dragon

I'm so glad someone started this cuz i really need help!!!

There is this girl that i was friends with, the relationship got deeper and we messed around a little, and then one day she tells me that she is dating this complete a-hole of a guy and i almost crashed and burned right then and there from the tears alone!! Well for a month we kind of ignored each other and the pain was so hard to bear! I felt like i couldn't breath when she was around me and I wanted to hang myself everytime she would walk by me with her new boyfriend and completly ignore me!! So we talked it out at the end of the month and she swore we could take it back to normal. Then we make plans for the weekend cuz (and i didn't tell her this) i'm aching to see her and hold her. Then when the weekend rolls around she ups and bails!! No call, no nothing!! It's like she disapeared.

Now, I don't know if i should be mad at her? Because, in all honesty, I think i might love her!! But i don't know what love is!! So how can it be love, if i don't know what it is?? Part of me is making up excuses for why she bailed and the other part wants to be mad and done with her. But i don't want to be done with her, because she's all i think about and she means so much to me!!

HELP PLEASE!!!!! Anything at all would help.

7/2/2008 #19

So, I am pretty sure you're infatuated. You like this girl like no other, and like you said because you haven't experienced before you have no idea what you're doing. It's ok. That's natural and you shouldn't fight it. Part of growing up, and moving along with relationships is being able to take a falling out, like this one. She might still like you, but if she's not willing to be with you.. would you even really want her? I think you should do her and yourself a favour and move on as best as you can. Not through anger, or spite. But out of love for yourself, and knowing you deserve better. And maybe, because she deserves someone she can spend all her time with, without having to think of someone else behind their back. I hope it helps, and that it helps you understand that although this didn't work out for you, it doesn't mean that another girl won't come along and be what you were looking for. Embrace the time you have with someone, but just because it's gone now does not mean it was all lost. Memories are all we have, don't forget them, learn from them.

7/2/2008 . Edited 7/2/2008 #20
Indred Dragon

Thank you. I will take this advise to heart and consider it well. Maybe you are right!


7/4/2008 #21
Certified Stalker

I've tried not to get too close to anyone after something that happened a year ago. You see, a year ago I was with this guy named David and we were kinda head-over-heels for each other. But his parents found out so we had to meet in secret. But one day we were meeting some maniac drove by shooting like crazy. The only reason I survived was because David knocked me out of the way in time. I called the paramedics but inevitably he died right there on the asphalt. But I've been able to move on and I met this really nice guy named Foster, so things are starting to improve.

7/8/2008 #22

well, im sorry about your friend passing away. but its good that youve moved on. and i really hope that you and Foster will be happy together. X3

7/9/2008 #23
Certified Stalker

Yeah, things are going pretty well for us ^^.

7/9/2008 #24

That is really good for you and I'm glad you were able to move on. I am terribly sorry about your loss, it was a very tragic story and after living it and being as well on your way as you are I believe that takes immense personal strenght. Keep telling that story as it teaches a lot. :)

7/9/2008 #25
Indred Dragon

I agree! That is a truly powerful story and a heart breaking one as well. I am happy for you and Foster.

Also, I have a question, where does one meet people like our selves? After my last little episode, I'm at a loss. Tell me where you guys meet people. It would really help.

Nubtrof, you are right, i need to just cherish the time we had and move on. Thank you

7/17/2008 #26

Love is love. It knows no boundaries. So, when one soul finds it's other half, it is beautiful, regardless of race, age, sex, etc.

7/30/2008 #27

See I believe in Love as something entirely different than our physical bodies. As if it were some uncontrollable entity. But I cannot believe in the idea of one love for one person. We created the idea of monogamy and I agree with it wholeheartedly, I want to be the only man in my (Currently non-existent) boyfriend's heart. But that doesn't mean I am -the- one for him. I can't agree that we are set onto this planet with another and must reunite with eachother. We call it fate, we call it luck. We are with the one we love because we like who they are, how they make us feel and who they help us become. I simply disbelieve in the idea, I do not disagree with it, but in my view it seems irrational and not entirely probable that anyone has found who they are meant to be with for the rest of their lives out of the ~6 Billion people in the world.

Especially when some people are unable to travel outside of their own countries.

7/31/2008 #28

Surprisingly I can't say I have met many people such as ourselves in the "real" world. Online it's a lot easier to either fake who you are and be someone you're not, or be yourself. Such as I am right now. I cannot make the decision for you guys to take it to heart that all I say is how I live, but I am honest.. because it's something a lot of people deserve and respect. Regardless, I'd have to say the best place to meet people such as ourselves is right here.

See, I've done a few papers for school on the idea of the computer being a bad thing, as well as a good thing. Part of arguing is obviously taking both sides and weighing the pros and cons. Basically the computer has turned a lot of adolescents into inactive members of "society" which in older generations' views is outside, and doing manual work rather than the much faster, and much more efficient work of a computer. So while they think we're wasting our time, there is the good point that not only are we managing our time wisely, we're also using the free time we now have, ineffectively. It's a hit or miss topic because you can say a lot of things on the subject, but here is where I wanted to go with this topic: meeting eventual hopefuls online, NOT through a dating service.

I would like to know people's perspectives and personal validity on this subject (and insight as to why), because I personally see no problem in it. If you're not looking for anything out of the person you eventually begin to start liking, where does the difference lay in this as opposed to meeting someone say, at a party where you just begin to talk and mostly start to like eachother based on looks.. then you get to know eachother?

Here's my example of this. I've met guys both at parties, and online. Only one online, and a small handful at parties. I've never contacted those I've met at parties and had interest in because I began to find out what they are really like, as opposed to who they showed me at the party. (Don't worry, I'm not a man-whoire Haha!). Anyway, in the past month or more I've been talking to a guy on a game I currently play, (Sword of the New World, for reference), and we've never shown more interest than just being good friends and having fun. But lately, we've been talking more seriously and joking together. At first (and semi-still), I'm not entirely sure if he's gay or just a nice guy, but I'm betting on the gay one. Anyways, so we talk a lot and chat about everyday things outside of the game, much like a lot of people seeing eachother. Sex is not a topic, he hasn't asked to see me on cam, he isn't chasing anything and neither am I. It's a friendship that I think could possibly be something, although I know the dangers of online meetings, and all that nasty stuff. Regardless, if you trust the other person and give it enough time they show you who they are more than someone you've known your whole life. I've gathered a nice safety net on this person based off of other people I know in-game that talk to him as well, and they are all very respectable people.

Mainly, what I want to say is that there are good people on the internet and it isn't an entirely horrible place to look for someone, unless you are actually looking. Love has a way of finding you, so let it.

7/31/2008 . Edited 7/31/2008 #29

See, i think that we all have one person who is our "soulmate" and made to complete us. however, there are many people in the world who we are still compatible with and capable of loving and having an enduring relationship. Nothing is set in stone, though, and as we change and grow in life so will our needs and our feelings, but there is one person out there who is made for you; the immaculate other half of a cleaved soul. Through the years and reincarnations we go through, we maybe separated from 'the one" throughout our lives, but in time, those meant to be together will find each other...whether it takes several years or several lifetims.

7/31/2008 #30
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