The Review Game
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So, did you read the rules before playing The Review Game? And the review requirements in the first post of this topic?
1 Yes
2 No
View Poll Result. Please vote for one of the choices.
Fractured Illusion

This is place to come if you want reviews for a story, and the review type is "depth", aka more substance and more constructive.

You can use whichever RG you like: Stories or Multi-chap. Just because your story is multi-chap does not mean you cannot use the Story RGs. These RGs are all voluntary.

For Review Game rules and some fun facts, go to "Read this first!".


FAQ: » Two or more people have reviewed the same person! What happens now? Answer


Moving on, this is the basic structure of the Review Game:

Person 1 says: Review "My Lucky Dream"!

Person 2 says: Ok, I reviewed "My Lucky Dream", ch 1 . So can the next person please review "Stereotypes" or "Window"?

Person 3 says: Done (I did "Window", chapter 4), so can the next person review "Stranger"? Thanks.

This means the first one to post here doesn't have to review another person. Aka, first to come gets a freebie. So, hurry!


For Stories Depth, your review needs to fulfill these requirements, otherwise you will not be seen as someone who has fulfilled their obligation and you can thus not participate.


Choose at least four of these eleven and comment upon with at least two sentences. These sentences need to be complete sentences. A comment like: "very direct" is not considered a full sentence. Comments like "That was totally cool, update!" or "I want to read more" also does not constitute as a sentence that would be counted, in this case.

Also, each sentence must comment on something different in the area. For example, 'I really enjoyed the piece. I thought it was very enjoyable' does not count as two sentences. "I really enjoyed the piece. It was enjoyable because I could relate to the characters' is acceptable.

- Opening (did it make you want to read onwards? Did it lack a hook? How so?)

- Ending (did it make you want to read onwards? Did you feel closure? Unfinished? How so?)

- Scene (what stood out to you in a particular scene? Was it good or bad? How so?)

- Dialogue (how did it flow? Awkward? Didn't fit the age group that were speaking? Forced? How so?)

- Characters (too empty? Not enough to give an impression? Feel sympathetic? How so?)

- Relationships (is it credible that those two characters behave the way they do? Too unnatural? Forced? How so?)

- Writing (too flowery? Too many adverbs? Too oldfashioned for a high-school drama romance? Perfect match? How so?)

- Spelling/Grammar (anything that stuck out and needed to be corrected?) Note: Pointing out an absence of flaws does not count.

- Enjoyment (how did you feel from reading this and WHY? Were you dozing off? On your seat with suspense? How so?)

- Plot (clichéd but well done? Interesting idea but poor execution? Suggestions on how to thicken it? Got no idea where it's heading, but interesting anyhow? How so?)

- Pace (are things progressing too slowly? If so, what should happen?)

- Setting (how does the setting suit the story? Is the setting realistic? Does it need to be expanded upon? How so?)

- Techniques (how well you feel the techniques were used to convey the ideas in the story? How they were used an what effect it gave to that part of the story?)

- Other (anything you felt was left out from the other commentaries? Any areas you think weren't covered by the above categories?)

Note: Summary and/or title is not a category of its own. Neither is descriptions. The latter belongs to "Writing".



Here is a suggested way to format your review in order make sure it fits the qualifications.

[Area 1 from above] = Two sentences about this

[Area 2 from above] = Two sentences about this

[Area 3 from above] = Two sentences about this

[Area 4 from above] = Two sentences about this

Please remember that you do not need to make your review in this structure. It can be one flowing text, like how you usually review, and after writing what you had to say, compare with the requirements and see if you fulfilled them. Otherwise, just add what is "missing". No need to be so formal unless you don't want to. And remember that flaming is prohibited.


11/11/2007 . Edited by lookingwest, 5/12/2013 #1
Terrance Riverdarb
Ooh, I'll take this freebie instead of the cookie ^^. Somebody do Where with others I've failed.
11/11/2007 #2
done where with others i've failed - much better than the last time i read it. :) princess, please. :) -Lefty
11/11/2007 #3
Done Princess. Could someone look at Twisted Revenge. Or anything that interests you.
11/11/2007 #4
Reviewed "So You Want to be a Vampire". Someone please review "Hard Death's Life"!
11/11/2007 #5
Sercus Kaynine
Reviewed Hard Death's Life. Feel free to browse through my work until you find something that interests you.
11/11/2007 #6
Reviewed Dolls and Cages. Charms please (and if you find any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes please don't hesitate to write it in the review so I can easily edit it.)
11/13/2007 #7
A Perfect Sonnet
Consider it reviewed! If someone could do [s:1780540:Death By Tap Shoes & Cigarettes] for me, that would be wonderful. Please critique the story, not the poems. If poetry isn't your thing, you can skip the poems as (for now) the story could function without them. If you're confused: the main character is a poet, so poetry is interwoven into the story along with one of "Rilo's" poems acting as a prologue to each chapter. Anyway, please review chapter 2, 4, 6 or 8. Thank you!
11/13/2007 #8
*Bow* As you wish. Someone review Hard Death's Life, please!
11/14/2007 #9
A Perfect Sonnet
I hate to do this, but I think it needs to be pointed out. This is the Depth catagory, please read the review requirements listed above (as they differ from the Easy Fix catagory). You should note the minimum requirement of 8 constructive sentences. Sorry if that made me a downer... -- Story to be reviewed: Hard Death's Life by Otaku42
11/14/2007 #10
Huh, I hadn't seen that minimum sentence requirement. Sorry about that, I'll try and do better next time.
11/14/2007 #11
Fractured Illusion
NOTICE: Follow the rules, or you will not be counted. It's as simple as that. This notice goes for all. Please alert me or Imalefty should any injustice occur (also while saying it here on the board so others are aware who not to review, as well). Saying you were not aware of the rules is not an acceptable excuse in this case. Due to the review given on the story Death by Tap Shoes & Cigarettes was inadequate and can not be counted as a legit review, Otaku42 is thus not counted as a participant, and therefore: Story to review is still "Death By Tap Shoes & Cigarettes" by A Perfect Sonnet.
11/15/2007 . Edited 11/15/2007 #12
I've reviewed "Death By Tap Shoes & Cigarettes" as per Frac's decree. Please review a later chapter of [s:2351197:Running in the Past]!!
11/19/2007 #13
done running! i would appreciate princess or e flat (as usual) or perhaps happiness if you've done both of those. :) -Lefty
11/20/2007 #14
I've reviewed (and enjoyed) "Princess". I'd most like reviews for "Plotseekers", or whatever else you happen to find interesting on my cluttered page.
11/22/2007 #15
Reviewed 'Creations' by Nemonus Hit Charms please
11/25/2007 #16
Reviwed "Charms" by Willowindrain. Lovely story! :D Please review "Hakkeshou~ Not a day too soon" or "Jeremy Mont Middle School".
11/25/2007 #17
Reviewed 'Hakkeshou~ Not a day too soon' by Kathrynzala. Please review 'Mortal Timeline', my only story at the moment.
11/25/2007 #18
done mortal timeline - very intersting! :) e flat or princess, please. :) -Lefty
11/25/2007 #19
Well, I hope I'm playing right. ^_^ Can someone please review my latest poem "A girl with two faces"? Thanks!
11/26/2007 #20
OFF TOPIC: Zen Blade - you need to review the last story (which would be mine, either e flat or princess) before you can request another. also, this is a story thread - there is a seperate thread for poems. END OFF TOPIC. story to be reviewed: imalefty's e flat or princess. -Lefty
11/26/2007 #21
I reviewed "Princess Charming" by Imalefty. In response to your penname, I am too! And we dominate! ...Oh, um, great story. ( ^_^u) Someone please review "Hakkeshou~ Not a day too soon" or "Jeremy Mont Middle School".
11/27/2007 #22
done jeremy mont. (YAY LEFTIES!) again, e flat or princess (or happiness if you've done those). thanks! -Lefty
11/27/2007 #23
Reviewed E Flat Minor of Platform 24. That was really good! Well, I really have one story, so have fun!
11/29/2007 #24
K I reviewed, The Eternally Revolving World, Can someone review mine, The Truth of Pain? thanks.
11/30/2007 #25
Reviewed "The Truth of Pain." Please review "Mortal Timeline"
11/30/2007 #26
Reviewed Mortal Timeline as best I could. Not much to poke at, though :D Can someone please review "Stonefish"?
11/30/2007 #27
Read and enjoyed "Stonefish." Could someone review "The Scariest Thing" with a lot of concrit? I'm going to try to get it published in a school-sponsored literary magazine, so I'm doing some serious editing.
12/1/2007 #28
read and loved "the scariest thing." hope it gets published! :) princess, e flat, or whatever story of mine catches your interest... thanks! -Lefty
12/1/2007 #29
Done Sticks and Stone . Recommends everyone to read it . Very very awesome. Charms please.
12/2/2007 #30
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