The Review Game
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Fractured Illusion

This is place to come if you want reviews for a story that has at least 4 chapters, and the review type is "depth", aka more substance and more constructive.

Only stories go here. Not poems.

You can use whichever RG you like: Stories or Multi-chap. Just because your story is multi-chap does not mean you cannot use the Story RGs. These RGs are all voluntary.

For Review Game rules and some fun facts, go to "Read this first!". Read the rules for the Review Games as well as the rules about Multi-chap.

---

FAQ: » Two or more people have reviewed the same person! What happens now? Answer

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Moving on, this is the basic structure of the Review Game: Multi-chap:

Person 1: Please review "This."

Person 2: I reviewed two chapters of "This." ch 5-6. please review two chapters of "That."

Person 3: I reviewed five chapters of "That." (chapters 1-5), please review five chapters of "Yay."

Person 4: I reviewed five chapters of "Yay.", ch 3-7. "Story" only has four chapters, so please review all of them.

Person 5: I am reviewing 4 ch of "Story". Edit: Done, ch 10-14.! Please review 4 chapters of "Singular"

As you can see, you need to enter a story with at least 4 chapters. The request of reviews has to be at least 2 or max 6.

You review the above person with how much he/she has requested or more and then request the same amount for yourself, or less (not more! If you want to request more, you review the person above more). You can't state what you want reviewed until you have completed all reviews. But you can make a holding post, stating you are reviewing. This lasts for max 2 days. When you are done with the reviews, edit into your post what you yourself want reviewed.

First person to post in this topic gets a freebie of a minimum of 2 reviews. As they have not reviewed, they cannot request. So the second to participate decide how much they wish to review within the established range.

But! If you have 1 chapter with 4000 words or more: your max request can only be 4 chapters.

And if you have more than 1 chapter with 4000 words or more: Max request - 3 chapters

Advice:

Don't try this if you are new to the review games. It will be too confusing. Start with regular review games Easy Fix.

---

For Depth, your review needs to fulfill these requirements, otherwise you will not be seen as someone who has fulfilled their obligation and you can thus not participate.

REVIEW REQUIREMENTS:

Choose at least four of these seven areas and comment upon with at least two sentences. Comments like "That was totally cool, update!" or "I want to read more" does not constitute as a sentence that is to be counted, in this case.

Also, each sentence must comment on something different in the area. For example, 'I really enjoyed the piece. I thought it was very enjoyable' does not count as two sentences. "I really enjoyed the piece. It was enjoyable because I could relate to the characters' is acceptable.

- Opening (did it make you want to read onwards? Did it lack a hook? How so?)

- Ending (did it make you want to read onwards? Did you feel closure? Unfinished? How so?)

- Scene (what stood out to you in a particular scene? Was it good or bad? How so?)

- Dialog (how did it flow? Awkward? Didn't fit the age group that were speaking? Forced? How so?)

- Characters (too empty? Not enough to give an impression? Feel sympathetic? How so?)

- Relationships (is it credible that those two characters behave the way they do? Too unnatural? Forced? How so?)

- Writing (too flowery? Too many adverbs? Too oldfashioned for a high-school drama romance? Perfect match? How so?)

- Spelling/Grammar (anything that stuck out and needed to be corrected?) Note: Pointing out an absence of flaws does not count.

- Enjoyment (how did you feel from reading this and WHY? Were you dozing off? On your seat with suspense? How so?)

- Plot (clichéd but well done? Interesting idea but poor execution? Suggestions on how to thicken it? Got no idea where it's heading, but interesting anyhow? How so?)

- Pace (are things progressing too slowly? If so, what should happen?)

- Setting (how does the setting suit the story? Is the setting realistic? Does it need to be expanded upon? How so?)

- Techniques (how well you feel the techniques were used to convey the ideas in the story? How they were used an what effect it gave to that part of the story?)

- Other (anything you felt was left out from the other commentaries? Any areas you think weren't covered by the above categories?)

Note: Summary and/or title is not a category of its own. Neither is descriptions. The latter belongs to "Writing".

REVIEW TEMPLATE

Here is a suggested way to format your review in order make sure it fits the qualifications.

[Area 1 from above] = Two sentences about this

[Area 2 from above] = Two sentences about this

[Area 3 from above] = Two sentences about this

[Area 4 from above] = Two sentences about this

Please remember that you do not need to make your review in this structure. It can be one flowing text, like how you usually review, and after writing what you had to say, compare with the requirements and see if you fulfilled them. Otherwise, just add what is "missing". No need to be so formal unless you don't want to. And remember that flaming is prohibited.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

3/2/2008 . Edited 11/28/2011 #1
Esther Jade
Seems I got here first.

"Heart of the Driechtnacht", please.

Thanks!

3/2/2008 #2
Imalefty
reviewed 2 chapters of "heart of the dreichtnacht." :)

please do princess... :) thanks!

-Lefty

ps: YAAAAYY! I'M PLAYING THE MULTI CHAP GAME!!! ^_____^

3/2/2008 #3
Esther Jade
Done 3 chapters of "princess" - Wow!

"Heart of the Driechtnacht", 3 chaps, please.

Thanks!

(Yay - now I can really get into a story and don't have to wait to catch the author again!)

3/2/2008 #4
Imalefty
reviewed 3 chapters of "driechtnacht." :)

princess, please! thanks!

-Lefty

3/3/2008 #5
xEutopiax
Reviewed three chapters of "Princess Charming"

Sorry for the confusion on my part.

Two chapters of Goddess please? Thank you.

Kaiyako K.

3/5/2008 . Edited 3/5/2008 #6
Fractured Illusion
--- OFF TOPIC ---

Sorry Kaiyako . You did it wrong.

You have to review 3 chapters, that's what Lefty did and she didn't specify the number to be changed and thus it is not. The chapter-count they want reviewed only changes when they specify.

You must always review the person above with AT LEAST how many reviews she/he claims.

BUT you can then request less. So your request for 2 chapters of Goddess is legitimate.

So please review another chapter of Lefty, and I will let this pass.

Edit: Aha, you have reviewed 3 chapters. All is good :)

--- END OF OFF TOPIC ---

Kaiyako Kagami's Goddess (two chapters)

3/5/2008 . Edited 3/5/2008 #7
l. fayette
Reviewed 2 chapters of Goddess.

Court Spy, please.

3/6/2008 . Edited 3/6/2008 #8
A.S. Leer
I have reviewed three chapters of "Court Spy".

Much obliged if someone could do 3 chapters of "The Storyteller" and skip the prologue- just do the actual chapters. Thanks much!

3/7/2008 #9
l. fayette
three chapters of Storyteller.

3 chapters of Court Spy if you would.

3/8/2008 #10
Kyllorac
Reviewed 3 chapters of Court Spy.

Could someone please review all of ARCE?

3/13/2008 . Edited 3/14/2008 #11
Otseis Ragnarok
Reviewed 3 chaps of ARCE... Nice joke in the title...

3 later chapters of Dream Angel, if you please...

3/14/2008 . Edited 3/14/2008 #12
Fractured Illusion
--- OFF TOPIC ---

Onar, you needed to give at least one more review to Kylie, because Kylie is to do three reviews for Fayette, which means you need to give Kylie at least three reviews too. Not to mention that I just noticed your first review to the first chapter doesn't even fulfill the review requirement!

And Kylie, I hope those reviews to Fayette come in pretty soon... >.>

If anyone has a problem with this: Take it to the Problem topic. Next up is Kylie.

--- END OF OFF TOPIC ---

Kyllorac is up with ARCE (3 chapters)

3/14/2008 . Edited 3/14/2008 #13
Harmonic Discord
Reviewed 3 chaps of ARCE - nicely done :)

The Sylvian Outlaws, 3 chapters, s'il vous plait? (or 2 chapters, if you can't do 3)

3/14/2008 . Edited 3/19/2008 #14
Fractured Illusion
I'll do Sylvian Outlaws :P (its multi here and I dont wanna get robbed of my place so I post it now. i swear to get it done soon though!!!)

Please do ting tong's The Last Summer :3 (2 chapters!)

(I did promise her to get her a review from the freebie, but darn, no one is offering story reviews!)

3/20/2008 #15
BlindmansWorkshop
Reviewed "The Last Summer" (both chapters).

Would appreciate a review of Godsilver.

Thanks :)

(Just a quick note; Chapter 1 has now changed, thanks to Dex's suggestions, but it's changed -completely-, so on the offchance some one started already, you want to be reading the Chapter 1 that begins with the word "Red". Should be updated in however long Fiction Press takes to update.)

3/22/2008 . Edited by Fractured Illusion, 3/24/2008 #16
lylahgrace
I Just finished reviewing all five chapters of GoldSilver, please review Consequences are Forever, thanks! BTW, I was very impressed! Keep writing, it's amazing!
3/24/2008 #17
BlindmansWorkshop
--- OFF TOPIC ---

As much as I genuinely appreciate the reviews Lylah;

REVIEW REQUIREMENTS:

Choose at least four of these seven and comment upon with at least two sentences. Comments like "That was totally cool, update!" or "I want to read more" does not constitute as a sentence that is to be counted, in this case.

-Dialog (how did it flow? Awkward? Didn't fit the age group that were speaking? Forced? How so?)

-Characters (too empty? Not enough to give an impression? Feel sympathetic? How so?)

-Writing (too flowery? Too many adverbs? Too oldfashioned for a high-school drama romance? Perfect match? How so?)

-Spelling (anything that stuck out and needed to be corrected?)

-Enjoyment (how did you feel from reading this and WHY? Were you dozing off? On your seat with suspense? How so?)

-Plot (clichéd but well done? Interesting idea but poor execution? Suggestions on how to thicken it? Got no idea where it's heading, but interesting anyhow? How so?)

-Other (anything you felt was left out from the other commentaries? Perhaps summing up all the bad and good points and closing it up with some final thoughts?)

--- END OF OFF TOPIC ---

3/24/2008 . Edited 3/24/2008 #18
Fractured Illusion
--- OFF TOPIC ---

BlindmansWorkshop , next you make an off topic post, state who is next.

lylahgrace , your reviews were not fulfilling the review requirements and thus you cannot be counted as a participant. Please read the rules and the first post carefully before playing. It is only fair to yourself and the other players, and it shows respect.

--- END OF OFF TOPIC ---

BlindmansWorkshop is up with Godsilver

3/24/2008 #19
Kyllorac
Reviewed 5 chapters of Godsilver.

3 chapters of ARCE, please, minus the prologue.

3/24/2008 #20
Dexterity
Did the prologue AND the 3 chapters of ARCE. Awesome humour, by the way!

Preferrably do 3 chapters of "Stolen Flight". If it's not physically possible (as in you've reviewed 2 chapters already), then do 2.

3/24/2008 . Edited 3/24/2008 #21
Esther Jade
Done 2 chaps of "Stolen Flight". Had done other 2 previously.

"Heart of the Driechtnacht" - 2 chapters please.

Thanks!

3/25/2008 #22
Kyllorac
Reviewed 2 chapters of "Heart of the Driechtnacht". Very nicely-written, and definitely one of my favorite stories on FP so far.

Two chapters (preferably chapters 2 and 3) of ARCE please.

3/29/2008 . Edited 3/29/2008 #23
thefilmchick
Got it but I am going back to re-review because I didn't follow format.

Since I will have done (when I fix my snafus) three chapters and a prologue of the above, if someone can review prologue, ch 1, ch 2, ch 3 of A Thousand Bayonets, hit me with your best shot.

3/29/2008 . Edited 3/30/2008 #24
A.S. Leer

I did 1-4 of 'Bayonets', so if someone could do 'The Storyteller'... Chapters One through Four (yes, skip the Prologue- unless you want to do it, that's fine). I really need feedback on those chapters.

4/3/2008 #25
xEutopiax

Done: Prologue and Four Chapters Of "The Storyteller"

Five Chapters Of "Letting Go" Please.

Thanks,

Kaiyako K.

4/4/2008 #26
Kyllorac

Reviewed 5 chapters of "Letting Go"

3 chapters of ARCE please.

4/6/2008 . Edited 4/6/2008 #27
B. J. Winters

Read ARCE - 3 chapters.

Three chapters of Ghost Writer, please. (1-3 or 7-9). Flexible to other selections.

4/11/2008 #28
A.S. Leer

I actually did Chapters One through four, and loved each of them.

The Storyteller, Chapters One-Four (not the stupid prologue). [Eventually I'll learn to do links.]

4/11/2008 #29
Kyllorac

In order to revive Multi-Chap Depth, both Lefty and Frac have given me permission to submit my story for review even though it does not currently have 4 chapters.

Reviewed 4 chapters of The Storyteller. 2 Chapters of ARCE, please.

4/27/2008 . Edited 4/28/2008 #30
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