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Fractured Illusion

This is the topic to go to if you are an author/poet in need of help from a beta. This is also the topic to go to if you are a beta, but have trouble finding suitable authors.

Authors as well as betas are allowed to open a request.

For "Beta Network" rules, go to "Read This First!"


Moving on, this is the basic structure of Beta Network:

Author 1: I WANT A BETA - 7/31/08 I need help on a story. *insert other necessary information as stated below in "Post Requirements"* Is someone willing to beta my story?

Beta 1: Hello, I'd be willing. *insert other necessary information as stated below in "Post Requirements*

Beta 2: I am also willing to do the job *insert mandatory info specified in "Post Requirements"*

Author 1: I prefer Beta 1 and I wish to pick him. CLOSED

Beta 3: I WANT TO BETA - 8/1/08! *insert info*

Author 2: You sound just like what I need for my story! I'd be glad to have you as a beta. *inserts info*

Beta 3: Taken! CLOSED


Only one request can go on at a time! Do not make a new one until the words CLOSED have been uttered.

Authors, you can only request a beta regarding a specific story, four at a maximum. Not more stories and not request to have a beta in general.

The "Left Over" list is for authors that did not get a beta, but still want one. That way, if a beta comes to this topic, they can look at the authors that are currently without a beta and then privately PM them. If the author on the list does get a beta, they must tell the moderators so he can be removed from the list.



This is regarding the first post the author and the beta makes in their requests or responses to requests.

All requesters must state the date of which you start your request, according to FictionPress' time [year-month-day].

The author must state: The story they want beta-ed (title, summary and genre). They must also state if the story has already been posted and by how many chapters and if they want those chapters beta-ed too. Further, they must say how regularly (or irregularly) they update, and what they want help with (grammar, description, plot, characterization, dialog, setting, you name it). If the piece is not posted on FP yet, the author must state the current length of the story.

The beta must state: Their specialties (genres, anything in the second set of parentheses above), their weaknesses, link to their FP Beta Profile (if they have one) and link to the stories they have beta-ed in the past, if there are any. If the beta is the one making the request, they must also state their preferences in authors and their stories.



7/31/2008 . Edited 3/12/2009 #1
Fractured Illusion

Left Over List


This post is meant to collect all those authors that sought for a beta, but did not find any. Of course, if you wish to be on this list, you must specifically state so in your closing post. Our hope is that those on this list will be seen by betas that find them as a suitable author, and thus a partnership will start.

If you are on this list, but have gotten a beta, notify the moderators through PM so they can remove you from the list.

All information given here about the left over authors are those that the author gave themselves in their first post.

Time-limit: You can only be on the left-over list for 2 months max.



- 18/9 ProsePoetryandPotpourri

Title: Howl

genre: Supernatural, thriller

Summary: The thrill of the chase, the wind in her hair, and the attention of one of the hottest and most notorious men in the Southern U.S. How much more could a girl ask for? But when Harley realizes that her boyfriend's undivided attention is a little too dangerous she decides enough is enough. Can she stay far away from this alpha male or will the big bad wolf find her again?

What I'm looking for: I have a veritable Hodge-podge of needs I suppose. I have reviews for separate chapters but would really like one done on my story as a whole so far. Also if the beta reader would be willing to follow the story and continue the beta reading as I update (which is usually once a day to once a week minimum) that would be amazing. I am looking for reviews on my character building (including but not limited to likeability and relate-ability), flow and pacing of the story in it's progression, dialogue review (I have a difficult time with wit in dialogue), as well as if I am capturing my audience. Grammar corrections or advice is appreciated and I know I have an issue with comma placement that I need help with. Anything else you notice or want to note on would be helpful as well!

I have 6 chapters published currently and will be publishing many more in the future. Would like all chapters beta-ed.


7/31/2008 . Edited 9/18/2012 #2
A.S. Leer


I'd like my fantasy story, The Storyteller, beta-ed. Instead of posting the site's summary, I'll give a basic description:

The main character, Adrienne Harkness, is only looking for inspiration on her writing. Is it too much to ask? Obviously it is, because the book she picks up sends her to another world right away! So now she's stuck there, involved with saving it, whether she wants to or not. She gets visions of her best friend back home, she's trapped in a love polygon of sorts with him, a prince, and a mysterious bad boy who may or may not be part of a cult, she has a phoenix who won't leave her alone, and to top it all off, her new friend Jasper is in love with someone she hates. Just inspiration? Oh, yeah right. (I know the book thing sounds cliche, but it's not the 'sucked into a book' story, I promise).

So far the first ten chapters are up, and I'd appreciate if my beta could give me an opinion on those as well. I update every two-three weeks, depending on just how inspired I am at the time. Most of what I want help with isn't my grammar/spelling (though sometimes I screw up) but more of the creative aspects like plot, characters, setting, etc. Oh, and if you can teach me to be better at description, I'd love you forever.

7/31/2008 #3
Contia Mirian

I'm still a little fuzzy on the etiquette here, but I'm a beta, and I'm interested in beta-ing your story. Typically I do better with the little nuances of the game, but due to my current circumstances I think I'd really enjoy helping you along with the ideas and such.

Contia Mirian

7/31/2008 #4
Arianna Aine

Chure, I could beta for ya, sterling.

I am mostly a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid person, as well as a devoted user of satire as a method of plot development (if you don't get what I mean, read Did Not Recognize). I am also a member of the Cult of the Character (local thing), which involves proper character standardization and stable dialog. Something I have been commented on before is fitting description into dense packets of information evenly distributed at random...if that makes sense :)

Unfortunately, I can hardly spell, my grammar is confused by my multilinguisticallness, and I use words thinking of their connotative meaning and not denotative.

I have beta'ed in the past, but it was by no means official so I have no record of it. I thought I was a beta for this one person, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet, and it's been a month... so... :)

7/31/2008 #5

Um, hi. I'm a beta reader person thing. I'll beta pretty much anything you give me, even if it's something you wrote when you were in kindergarten and the teacher fell asleep reading. So yeah. Just PM me or whatever if you would like something betaed.

7/31/2008 #6

Since you so kindly suckered me into this forum (.. =] ...), I could be your beta. Umm... all my strengths/weaknesses are basically in my beta profile ( I'm really good at grammar and spelling; I work in the Writing Center at my university to help other students edit their papers. So, you know - experience.

Let's see.... downside: I will be out of town (read: Mexico) for a week in one week, so that will slow down the immediate beta-ing of the first 10 chapters. (Especially with the beforehand preparation I need to do.) After that, though, I'll have more time on my hands.

7/31/2008 #7
Fractured Illusion

--- OFF TOPIC ---

I just want to give a bit of a head's up to some of the betas. This is the mandatory info you need to give in your post when answering the author's request:

The beta must state: Their specialties (genres, anything in the second set of parentheses above), their weaknesses, link to their FP Beta Profile and link to the stories they have beta-ed in the past, if there are any.


Okay, carry on :) Arianna got a request for a beta.

8/1/2008 #8

Ok then

dreamer789 the worst beta in entire world


Spelling, when I watch tv I always put caption so I guess you could say that I'm like the spellchecker. God I can't believe that I only have thsi as strength.

My weaknesses

My weakness huh?...well 2 things. I am not good with description and grammar has always been a weakness, I even have grammar problems with my first and second language and the worst part is that English is my third. so if you are bad with grammar then don't choose me, I'll just make it worse.


I like comedy and romance...well I mainly read this 2 type of genres. Tragedy can be nice. There are a lot of sweet things in the world but there are bitter things too, so I sorta like tragedy or angst.

Would Rather Not:

Fluffy romance and poetry. Poetry is something that I never EVER liked but I find it surprising that I actually wrote one...still no, I'm not beta-ing poems.

8/1/2008 #9

Hi there. I guess I'm intrested in becoming a beta? There seem to be a lot more more beta's then authors at this point, so I'll just leave my details and see what happens. :)

Beta Profile

Pro: characters, plot development, sentance structure. I'm not really picky about genre.

Con: commas hate me, minor nitpicky grammar stuff


8/1/2008 #10
Phoenix Octavia Bright

Link FP Profile

My Strengths: beta, writing, or reading strengths

I'm very good at detecting grammatical errors. I am also good at looking at the structure, the interest factor and originality. I'm not a perfect English writer, so I myself can make a lot of stupid mistakes. I like to write different stuff, from fantasy to romance etc. I like cliches, but I love original work, or a original twist on something cliche or commonly known.

My Weaknesses: beta, writing, or reading weaknesses

Like I said, I'm not a perfect English writer and I make mistakes or sometimes lose the interest factor in one or two chapters. My weaknesses as a reader can also be that when it gets a bit boring I tend to stop reading although I make myself read it till it gets interesting again

I don't particulary prefer any specific type of story, so any stories are welcome. My favourite categories are fantasy and romance though.

8/1/2008 #11


BA in English and an MA in Communications, so I have plenty of grammar and reading experience. I'm also pretty well read in poetry, essays, novels and just about anything else.


May be slow with longer pieces due to being somewhat busy a lot of the time.

8/1/2008 #12
Contia Mirian

I've done a lot of beta-ing, but nothing that's posted here due to the author's preference.

Strengths: I am willing to help an author become what they are able to become based on the amount of effort they are willing to put into a story. I am well verse in all aspects of story writing.

"Weaknesses": I have a strong belief that the author has to do a fair amount of the work and can come across as very cynical. Therefore, for those interested and unable to click on my name to get to my beta profile themselves can follow: to my beta profile site and find the rest of the information about my specialties and preferences and such themselves. Since, you know, it's on the profile.

8/1/2008 #13
A.S. Leer

Well, you all sound great, but I especially like the sound of...sugardisc. Is that great with you, sugardisc?

8/1/2008 #14
Strengths: Character development (how a character is structured; faults and strengths; if the character sounds realistic), Grammar, Plot (whether or not it makes sense, etc), and Tenses. Weaknesses: Dialogue (well, no, I can spot what makes good and bad dialogue, but in comparison to everything else, dialogue is a bit of a weak spot) Specializes: Fiction, in any genre. No poetry, please.
8/1/2008 . Edited 3/8/2012 #15

Ok, so I guess my last post was kind of wrong. So I'll try again. Hello. I'm fredtheflyingfish.

I really don't have a specialty genre I beta in, whatever you want I'll look over. When I write I usually stick to romance.

My weaknesses are that I tend to miss really obvious things when editing, but I'll make sure when I'm looking over someone else's story to read it enough that that isn't a problem.

My strengths are I'm pretty good at developing plots and know a lot of grammar, not sure how, but I do. So I can help a lot with that.

Here is my beta profile:

And the story I'm currently betaing isn't up on FP yet, but it's somewhere out in the universe. I think.

Thanks for reading!

8/1/2008 #16
A.S. Leer

I chose my beta, and under rule 7, this request is now CLOSED.

8/2/2008 #17


Title: Born of Legend

Summary: During the vampire hysteria in The Grand Duchy of Tuscany (present-day Italy), Vittoria d'Succio's family comes down with TB. The villagers begin to suspect the d'Succios of being vampires, while Vittoria is suspicious of her new fiance. But Vita soon realizes that there are no real monsters other than herself (as you can see, I desperately need summary help ^^;)

Genre: Family/Historical Fiction?

This story hasn't been posted yet, and I am a very irregular poster so I can't really give you a clear-cut idea. I would mainly like help with description, dialogue, and relationships.

8/2/2008 . Edited 8/2/2008 #18

--Quick off-topic suggestion--

Would it be okay if authors added to their beta request the length of the story in question, particularly for ones that aren't posted?

--End off-topic--


BA in English and an MA in Communications, so I have plenty of grammar and reading experience. I'm also pretty well read in poetry, essays, novels and just about anything else. And hey, your story is set in Italy. I lived there for a few years, although not in Tuscany.


May be slow with longer pieces due to being somewhat busy a lot of the time.

8/2/2008 #19
A.S. Leer

@Off-topic suggestion-

That's a good idea, actually. I'll tell frac we should add it to the things writers need to say.

8/2/2008 #20

I could be a beta.

Beta profile:

I've not decided, really, on a preference yet, so I'm generally open.

Pros: Creative description; "hardcore", effective dialogue; everything teachers yell at you about in English class; making people sound real; I have no life so I'd be able to work on it

Cons: I've never truly beta-ed before; I'm not a big history buff

8/2/2008 #21

@ Arianna: Sure, I'd be happy to beta for you. :)

8/2/2008 . Edited 8/2/2008 #22
E.D. Fiorentino

Hellow Dragonflydreamer, I'd be happy to beta for you.

My strengths are in grammar, plot contingency (if you say character 1 has brown hair on page 2, and blond hair on page 3, I want to know if she dyed it, or if you changed your mind), plot flow, and fluidity. I am a senior Creative Writinging/English Lit major (going for my BA), so I do know a thing or two about writing :) While I'm not really good with dates, I am really good at looking up I could be a help with historical accuracy.

My main weaknesses are spelling, and the inability to finish writing a story. Luckily for you, you will be doing the writing...I'll be doing the editing!!

I love historical fiction, so I would be unable to put down your story until we both think it's perfect.

Let me know if you want me :)

(If you want to view some of my writings, check out my page.)

8/2/2008 #23


My Profile:

Strengths: I like to write stories that aren't exactly form fitting to the ideals of popular culture. Okay, fine, look at my list of publish stories and you'll think, why are you such a liar? Well, I can only say people change, those stories were at the least 1 year ago. However, I think, right now at this moment, I have improved greatly in grammar, therefore I will honesty say that is one of my skills. Another would be seeing the small details. I am very detail oriented when in the process of reading. If say at the beginning of the story he's wearing a blue shirt and by the end of the paragraph he's wearing a green one, I'll notice it. No matter what kind of story I'm writing, whether it's a tragic melodrama, or an action packed adventure, I always add in some sort of humour, I just can't help it. So comedy is a forte. Lastly, if you like flowery writing (which I understand is such a downfall if overdone), I am your woman. ps. I have a lot of experience in cutting out useless words/phrases/paragraphs/sections of a story.

Weaknesses: Flowery writing is my biggest weakness. I have to edit and edit and edit again just to cut out unnecessary stuff (which means I have lots of experience in that - I should add this experience to my strengths). Also, if I'm in a hurry, my grammar does lose its credibility. Which is why sometimes I take so long. Furthermore, I am very judgmental. I most likely already rubbed some people in the wrong way just by filling in this profile. I usually attempt to sound professional and neutral when commenting on a fault in someone's writing, but sometimes I just get such an urge to blatantly criticize, especially if I notice that the writer doesn't take their work seriously.

Genres: I love to read short stories and comedies. Anything about an awkward hero/heroine/character, I love (in any genre). I love vampires, I love romance, but most of all, I love coming of age stories. If the story makes me think, even better. I love stories with undertones of philosophy and psychology. If your dialogue is good, I will definitely forget about the plot. I choose dialogue over plot any day. Doesn't mean the plot can be incoherent, it just doesn't have to be extravagant.

8/3/2008 #24
Phoenix Octavia Bright

Hello dragonflydreamer, I'll be happy to beta for you

Preferences: I don't really prefer anything above anything else, but if I had to choose I'd have to pick the following genres as my preference: Fantasy, Romance and Adventure.

Strengths: I have experience with beta-ing stories. I know how to work with people and make sure that what they want is what they'll get. My strengths also lie in grammar and construction. And also making a story interesting. I can work out story plots fairly easy.

Weaknesses: I have to get a deadline, so I can be done by that time, because I'm usually busy.

Stories Betad: Never forgotten / Quest Eolande by C.D, Warcraft III by L.M.B (none of these writers are member of fictionpress....yet)

Link Beta Profile:

8/3/2008 #25
Fractured Illusion

--- OFF TOPIC ---

New rule, dragonfly:

If the piece is not posted on FP yet, the author must state the current length of the story.

So please add that whenever you can.


dragonflydreamer has requested a beta for her historical/family centered story. Offer your services if you think you can be of help

8/3/2008 #26

Current length, as in what I have written but not yet posted? I have a chapter and a half; a total of 804 words (but the prologue is very short and will be rewritten :p)

And thanks for all the responses!

8/3/2008 #27

Dangit...I keep on missing those requests :(

8/3/2008 #28
Fractured Illusion


But there is still an on-going one :p Dragonfly hasnt made a decision yet! (at least I have not noticed it)

8/3/2008 #29

Ah, thanks! There's still hope.

8/3/2008 #30
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