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WhenceComethThisBoredom

All righty, here goes! It is 3/18/2015 at like 6 pm PST.

Hey everyone! I NEED A BETA!

Title: In the Grey Before Night Falls. (This story is not on ficpress.)

Genre: post-apocalyptic low fantasy

Summary: In a preindustrial future, a young man fights to save his country from a false god and her followers, while struggling to preserve his identity. Imagine The Thin Red Line meets The Silmarillion, but with less magic and more romantic angst.

What I'm looking for: Basically I need someone who can point out plot holes, characterization flaws, problems with worldbuilding, and the like. I don't need grammar advice, but I do need someone who can see where something's missing (or unneeded) and more or less be a test audience for me. I do plan to get this published eventually.

Current length of the story: just over 300,000 words.

Let me know if you want to read the first chapter and see how you like it. I will also gladly accept multiple betas! And this offer will stand long after this request has closed if you happen to stumble upon this months or years from now, lol. Hit me up if you're interested!

3/18/2015 #511
JazzieP

My very first review and Wow how usefull is it. Thank you Kalitena for telling me about Beta.

It is 23-03-2013, my time is 09:13 am, sorry but i have no idea what the Fpress time is.

Soooo, dadum dadum, I need a BETA

Title: The old manor (might change as the story progesses, but hey i'm only writing one story so you will find it ;))

Genre: Fantasy and Mystery

Summary: More than half a year after the accident, Alec immensely regrets her desicion to come here. Well not the decision to leave her old home, that was the best thing she had done in a while. But how could she have been so stupid to think that this place would be any different, that any place would change who she was? She would never be able to control it. Now no one would be safe.

Story so far: The story right now exist out of a prologue and the first chapter that are already published. More chapters will follow and I will publish them varying from 1-3 times a week. I would like those two that are published Beta-ed and the others that will come too. So far it is about 5600 words long.

What do I need: As this is the first time ever that I am trying to write a story and english is not my first language, I will need some help with grammer and picking out wrong used words. Don't worry though, i'm not a noob considering english, but I could definetely use some help with it. Others things I could use help with are were to place the coma's, I keep getting confused about those and how the chapter is presented (if I look at other stories, the sentences are more spread out, no clue on what is best or easiest of the reader to read). As the story is progessing, I would also like a view on how my plot/characters ect are going, a readers view on how you look at it, so that I can look at is from others eyes (not a must) and pointing out some flaws with characters/plots and flashbacks.

The prologue is being adjusted right now and is already different from the one online (not by much, few places rewritten, mistakes taken out, that kind of stuff). Give me a pm if you want to take a look at it.

Ow yeah before I forgot, I hope you dont mind that I will bomb my Beta with all kinds of questions about writing hehe

3/23/2015 #512
JazzieP

Sorry about the repost, I dont know how it happened and as I cant deleted it, I deleted its contents.

3/23/2015 . Edited 3/23/2015 #513
MissKMae

JazzieP, I would be willing to Beta for you. Fantasy is my specialty, and I have a whole profile with my strengths and weaknesses here. My only question would be if you plan to have smut in your story - it's rated M, so I wasn't sure, and I very much prefer to not read it (however, if there's only a small bit, I don't mind too much).

3/25/2015 #514
Emma Groom

Requesting a Beta - 3/25/2015 I'm currently writing a sci-fi/mystery novel titled Mimicry 25 after the experiment done by John B. Calhoun titled Universe 25, you can find a link to the wiki article here:

The summary I posted to FP is as follows:

Mave is an albino Azulian soldier on a planet where albinism is a religious death sentence. Her best friend is a mentally disturbed serial killer and her college roommate is ditsy party girl from a mafia family. And that's not even mentioning the fact that her roommate's 12 year old brother, a leukemia patient, claims his treatment facility is run by aliens.

As you can probably tell, the story is a bit odd-ball but that's rather the point. It's science fiction, but I'm one of those people who grew up reading mystery novels so I hate the scientifically inaccurate, so the world, Azulu has months of research dumped into it, and as a result I think I managed to make it decently and realistically alien. The plot is halfway between that of a crime novels and that of a dualistically sociologically and technologically driven science fiction novel.

I showed it to one of my English teachers and she said my biggest problem is my tendency towards mixing 'minutia, minutia everywhere' with too much vocabulary and complex plots and allegories that take too long to explain. I personally think my biggest problem is characterization. I'm good at coming up with deductive chains of thought and bad at writing emotional ones. That, and I am horrid at determining what is and is not dramatic and usually come across as condescending in how I describe anything drama seeing as I detest it on a personal level. I'm also one of those people who doesn't 'get' certain emotions/social cues (Social-emotional agnosia is the official diagnosis. Basically my theory of mind is crap.) and thus will have a character react to a situation completely differently than how a normal person would. Which is fine, if it's one character. If it's all of them then we've got problems.

Basically, I need someone to spot minor typos/grammatical errors that I may have missed and provide feedback on if and when the story gets tiresome and my characters too abnormal. So far, the story is 19461 words long, most of which is already uploaded to FP and can be found here. There are four chapters currently uploaded totaling at 14453 words which is more than enough to get started with. I update about once every two weeks, sometime more frequently, and each update is around 4000 words long.

3/25/2015 . Edited 3/25/2015 #515
XxLoveMakesTheWorldGoRoundxX

Beta Request

Date: March 25th 2015

I'm writing a story called Rising Storm, it's a fantasy-adventure story with slight romance, the story has not been published yet as I'm trying to finish three chapters before I publish it. I try to update every week, as I write every day and a chapter is usually 5,000 words. What I need help is...a lot I'm a seventeen year old, so my writing hasn't matured completely yet. But my main things is grammar, description, characterization, dialog, and minor things with setting and plot though I think I have it pretty well planned, but if you have a better idea tell me!

My first chapter is 5017 words long and my second chapter is 3,000 words long (I need help with description on this because I feel like I'm just not doing enough)

Plot: Thousands and thousands of years ago there was a war in the land of Ravka between the various factions of magic in order to see who was the strongest faction. A group of magic users from each faction who was sick of the far first harnessed the power of the sun to make one spirit and then the power of the full moon and stars. These had magical abilities that surpassed anyone's and could learn any type of magic. These spirits stayed in balance and kept balance, until fifty years ago the spirit from the sun declared war on the moon and started a bloody war. The moon spirit realized it was her time to go, so she had a child and gave her all her abilities and sent her to our world to be safe and allowed herself to get killed by butcher knife.

Sixteen year old Aasha Johar, itching for a fresh start goes to what she thinks is a boarding school and in the airport she gets knocked out and taken to this strange land where she learns about all the responsibilities she needs to do. Aasha very badly wants to help the people of Raavka, but how can a sixteen year old who until recently didn't know magic even attempt to help the land.

3/25/2015 . Edited 3/25/2015 #516
JazzieP

Closed

I have choosen for Virtuella as my Beta

4/19/2015 #517
BayBeBlue

I'm in search of a Beta 8/28/15

Title: Knocking on Yesterdays Door - In progress (It is posted on FP and the first two chapters have been completed and its a little over 6k words as of now. I update usually once a week.)

Type: Fiction/Hurt/Comfort/Family - does deal with emotional and verbal abuse and the effects it has on the characters

Summary: It's about two brothers and how they each cope with the emotional and verbal abuse they copped from their father. the oldest runs away and the youngest is kicked out. He goes to his brother for help but they have trouble adjusting and trusting each other. they each have secrets of they are hiding and this book delves into unlocking those secrets of their past.

If anyone would be willing to help I would greatly appreciate it.

8/28/2015 #518
kittysgomeow

10/24/2017

seeing as the last post was two years ago and no progress has been made on this account, I would like to beta read a story. I can't spell and am not very good with commas I can catch mistakes and am a good fresh eye. I will read/proofread/help edit any thing as long as its not explicit.

10/24/2017 . Edited 10/24/2017 #519
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