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Samuel Harrisson


Hello! My name is Samuel Harrisson ("Guy" on this forum) and I was hoping for someone to beta the first three chapters of my novella 234A (More if the beta would like to). I am hoping a beta can look for grammatical errors, weakness in flow, and just to make the story shine. Thanks a billion!

-Samuel "Guy" Harrisson

Title: 234A

Genre: General, but also a Tragedy

Summary: After the death of Jonathan's wife, he is moved into a mental institution to be evaluated by Jerry. Can Jerry handle Jonathan? And more importantly, can he save Jonathan from his own mind?

5/10/2009 #241
Nicki BluIs

kinda off topic

Hihi Sam! (Can I call you Sam? Too late... already am :P) I checked and noticed that this story's rated M? Can I know why? Before I offer my services I mean... (my that sounds dirty...)

-Bubbles :P

end the kinda off topic post

5/10/2009 . Edited 5/10/2009 #242
Nicki BluIs


5/13/2009 #243



Story: Fire (title in Progress)

Genre: Fantasy

Summary: A political fantasy centering around the reappearance of the heir apparent in the restless Fire realm, where many of the fire elementals have been extinguished the oppression of the other realm and where social clashes still permeate the air. Yet this heir apparent - the authoritive figurehead in a rebellion to retake the nation - is but a reluctant teenager who came only to escape being convicted of a felony.

Info: There has been 2 chapters out (rather, one chapter and a prequel), about 2300 words. I'd like these two already published chapters to be read, as well as the four chapters already written on my computer (I'm sticking to my updating schedule of 1 chapter / 2 weeks.) Not all at once of course, at your leisure. Once the supply dries up I might update more irregularly... If I miraculous am able to stick to this schedule, I'd send the newly written chapter a week or a few days before it's due and you need to only critique it.

For critique, I'm looking for detailed. Very detailed. The more minuscule, the more obsessive the better. A good copy editor is always nice, but I'm really hoping for feedback on the story itself -- the inconsistencies in plot and characterization, the setting and the writing describing the setting... Like I said, I want somebody to really critique. Be harsh. Really harsh.

Also, my story is rated Teen. My story does have romance though (I'm not planning anything close to the thousands of angsty vampire stories around here though), so the rating might jump up as time goes on... But it shouldn't go to M though. It won't be graphic.

EDIT: Please start all posts with I Need a beta. Thanks.

5/15/2009 . Edited by simpleplan13, 5/15/2009 #244
Sercus Kaynine

Hello, MikiSweety! I read your story and it looks interesting. I'd be happy to better it for you.

Specialties: The fantasy genre in general is something I'm good at. Although I haven't written any fantasy stories here, I believe I know what to look for. I can help you with your characterization, plot points, pace, and the overall flow of the story.

Weaknesses: I'm notorious for simple typos, and I'm not too good with ideas for romance, though I know the cliches when I see them.

Previous stories beta-ed: (it's not active anymore, though)

Beta Profile: (it's hideously out of date. If you have any more questions about my style, I suggest communication via email or DocX)

5/15/2009 #245

You look just fine to me, Sercus Kaynine!

I added you to my DocX. Please add me when you see this and I'll send you the chapters. ^^


5/18/2009 #246
N.E. Olson

I would like a beta please!

The story is called Lockwood Forest. It's a fantasy that I've been working on it since I was in second grade (I'm in college now), so there are several cliches.

Basic plot: The royal family is murdered, but one princess survives. She has amnesia, however, and struggles with identity issues while trying to regain her throne. There is a lot of violence within the story.

Thank you :)

6/1/2009 #247


N.E. Olson: In the future, please bold "I want a beta!" and note the date you opened your request. Thanks.


N.E. Olson's request was opened on June 1, 2009 @ 10:46am FP Time. The time limit of 3 days is 10:46am (FP time) on June 4, 2009.

6/3/2009 #248

I AM A BETA! Ahem, now that that's out of the way, I'd love to beta things for anyone. Preferably slash, because I don't read much of anything else, but if anyone who writes slash needs a beta, I'm your gal. My beta profile is here.

Strengths: I am a grammar Nazi, I work very quickly, I offer critique and praise at the drop of a hat, I'm a natural born speller/dictionary. Feel free to bounce ideas off of me -- I'm an interactive person.

Weaknesses: I get bored rather easily, so if you're too descriptive (as in fifty pages describing your characters and/or scenery), I'll most likely get bored. I can't read non-slash. I do not like authors who write as if they're making the script for a manga (aka. sweatdrop, headdesk, facefall, other random manga terms). I'll only read a story with Japanese characters if you really know your stuff about Japanese culture. Other than that, ask and you shall receive! Honestly, don't be shy. I like editing. Just don't forget to thank me (I had a very recent experience where I edited around twenty mistake-riddled pages for someone without a thank you, and a hint of attitude. Not nice).

6/3/2009 #249

-- O/T --

LadyPendragon, you may not open a request until the last request is closed. It can be closed today, 6/4 at 10:46am FP time. Also, in the future, when you open a request, please include the time and date of your post.

-- end O/T --

N.E. Olson's request is still open until further notice.

6/4/2009 #250

N.E. Olson's request is CLOSED. To clarify any confusion that may have occured, LadyPendragon is not automatically next because they posted while a request was open.

That means, anyone can make a request now on a first come, first served basis.

6/4/2009 #251
Naomi Chick

I want a Beta!

Title: An Encountering Chance

Genre: Manga/ Supernatural/ Romance

Summary: Tori Amami a high school student that works many job. All she ever wanted in life was happiness. One day she meet a mysterious guy named Rei Ikurimama and discover he's vampire. At first she hate him but slowly realizes her feelings toward him.

Update: Whenever I'm no busy, I usually have the next chapters posted within three or four months.

Length: Probably 5000 words or lesser. Sorry if I make the chapters long.

Currently the first three chapters are up. and the next two I already written, but need editing. The story has twenty four chapters.

I'm looking for help with grammar, descriptions, and dialog.

6/29/2009 #252


@Naomi Chick: Please edit in the date you opened your request. Thanks.


6/29/2009 #253
Naomi Chick


I want a Beta!

Title: An Encountering Chance

Genre: Supernatural/ Romance

Summary: Tori Amami a high school student that works many job. All she ever wanted in life was happiness. One day she meet a mysterious guy named Rei Ikurimama and discover he's vampire. At first she hate him but slowly realizes her feelings toward him.

Update: Whenever I'm no busy, I usually have the next chapters posted within three or four months.

Length: Probably 5000 words or lesser. Sorry if I make the chapters long.

Currently the first three chapters are up. and the next two I already written, but need editing. The story has twenty four chapters.

I'm looking for help with grammar, descriptions, and dialog.

6/29/2009 . Edited 6/30/2009 #254


When you are asked to edit, please edit instead of making a new post. Thanks!

--END OT--

6/29/2009 #255

3 days has passed since Naomi Chick's request. Therefore her request is now..


7/3/2009 #256

July 18, 2009 Hey, I really need a beta for my story! It's my first one so it'd be nice to get some perspective. Honesty is the biggest thing I want, I wouldn't want you to sugar coat things. I'm a pretty good spellar so you'd just be checking grammar, and how well the plot and the story flows as well as the quality of writing.. ie: repetitive words. I don't care if you change things or move stuff around just make sure you put the font color in red or something so I know what you've changed. If it's possible you could look at the first two chapters I've already posted to. =) Thx!

Title: In Front of My Eyes

Genre: Fantasy/Romance Summary: It's about a girl named Charlotte and she discovers that there is another world behind ours, and that she hapens to be a big part of it. There's a war going on in it and she gets recruited by the one side. I don't really want to give away the ending and stuff but she ends up falling in love and her parents play a big factor. If you really want to know the ending before offereing your services just pm me and I'll be happy to tell you. here's a link to it =) In Front of My Eyes Can someone please beta my story??


7/18/2009 . Edited 7/20/2009 #257
Perpetual Romantic

July 19, 2009

I would like to Beta!!

My strengths in editing include more of the technical stuff, such as punctuation, spelling, capitalization, etc. My weakness is grammar, though I am generally pretty good at writing well and editing grammar well. I prefer editing Romances and realistic fiction, though I will not say no to certain fantasies.

My beta profile:

7/19/2009 #258

I'll take you! If you want, it's not really like dragons and elves fantasy, its pretty much based on earth and stuff so maybe you'd like to give it a try??

7/19/2009 #259
Perpetual Romantic

What kind of fantasy elements does it involved. Vampires? Fairies? Supernatural?

7/19/2009 #260

No elves, or dragons, and it's not set in midevil times. I'm not sure about faeries, probably not though. It's set in like our time frame. It'll probably have vampires and werewolves as like a side part but the focus would be on these people called changers, that use rune stone type things to change the way they look and enhance things they can do like runing fast ect.. and some of them are permanent and some are temporary.. They are like in a civil war with another group of them. The main character lived her life not knowing about any of this and now they recruit her to the one side and she I guess learns to be what she is, I wont give you the ending but you kind of get it I hope. It's not all set in stone I'm still playing around with a few things like what the limits are to what they can do and a bit with the plot.. I'm sorry that I'm terrible at explaining things but yeah. I won't have a problem with you passing on it, if it's not your thing I respect and totally understand that. =)

7/19/2009 #261


@Perpetual Romance

If you are replying to excentricreativity's beta request post, then you don't need the date and "I want to Beta!" part of your post - merely stating "I'd like to be your beta" (or something to that effect) in regular font face will suffice. By adding these two elements, I am interpreting that as a new request and 2 requests cannot be in session at the same time. Please edit your post by clicking "Mod" and then "Edit" in your original post to reflect such. Thank you.


excentricreativity is up with their beta request.

7/20/2009 #262

oh wow...this was closed eons ago. O_O

Note: People, PLEASE close your own requests!!

on another note, this request is definitely...


7/24/2009 #263

I want a Beta - 08/01/09

Title: Rough Diamond

Genre: School Life, High School Romance, Slash


Kieran is a new student at Summerbrooke High. Within a week he's already the most popular boy - and why not? He's charming, rich and has the face of a model. Rumor has it that he's the son of a celebrity, but for some reason no one can get him to talk much about himself. He's a complete mystery.

Nate doesn't pay the new transfer student much attention - or tries not to; It's hard when all the girls around him are saying his name. He begins to find it even more difficult when, one afternoon in an empty corridor, Kieran whispers some sweet words into Nate's ear, under the pretense that he wanted to see Nate's 'pretty blush'.

Not wanting to be made a fool again, Nate avoids Kieran for the following two weeks, during which Kieran's popularity continued to grow. Even Nate's best friend, Stephanie, got caught up in the craze, and when Kieran politely turns her down she demands Nate take her out on a date to make her feel better.

At the cinema Nate meets Kieran in the bathroom - only this time he doesn't escape without a kiss. Angry, embarrassed and more than a little confused, Nate is sure that Kieran is just playing with his head - and yet, why does the sight of him with another boy on evening fuel inside him an uncomfortable, and certainly unwanted, jealousy?

Update Schedule: hopefully once a week, every Saturday

I have one chapter up already, which I wrote yesterday.

I'm mostly looking for help with the plot and characterizations. I suppose I'd just like some opinions and suggestions on where the story could head, how the chaarcters could interact, etc. Help with flow, grammar and style would be nice too, but not necessary. I'd love to be able to chat about it over AIM, if possible too, but that's not necessary either =]

8/1/2009 #264


8/5/2009 #265
Kit-Kat Punk-lover


I want a beta!!!

Title: Twisted Smiles

Genre: Horror, Romance, Drama

Summary: Happiness is nothing but a fake emotion forced upon us from our superiors. Everyone grins like a maniac, frightful about what's around the corner. Everyone except...him. He grins even though he's chained up like an animal..why is this? Who is this boy?

-PM me if you want to learn more-

Update Schedule: Once a month

I have four chapters up already. Each ranges at about 2,000 words. I probably won't exceed this amount when it comes to later chapters. I don't really care if it takes you three weeks to beta it, so you have plenty of time :)

All I really need help with is silly grammer mistakes that I miss when I look through it. Oppinions are welcomed as well as thoughts on characterization, flow, description, etc.

Please and thank you!

8/5/2009 . Edited 8/5/2009 #266

oh wow. this request is a bit old...and definitely


8/11/2009 #267

August 16th, 2009

I want a Beta!

Title: The Chronicles of Starlyn: The Fear of Magic

Genre: Fantasy

Characters: Starlyn, Arria, Sh'on, Raven, Anaela, Vil'ek, Elsargast

Summary: In the land of Calthoria Starlyn is an elf warrior from the elves capital of Sudegam. Her mother is sick and her sister Arria uses dark magic to try and save her- which is forbidden. Starlyn is torn between saving her mother and finding her sister.

Update: I'm going to try and get in 1-2 chapters in a week if I can.

Length: Nearly 7,000 words for one Prelude + 4 chapters. Prelude + chapters 1-2 are less than 1,000 words. Then chapter 3-4 are 1,500 - 2,000 each. Not really too big of chapters.

I'm looking as much help as anyone is willing to give me. I would like to finish my novel by the end of the year, and then seek publishment. My biggest flaw that I know of is switching tenses. Other than that any input you can give me to make my story better, up for constructive critisim. But please don't be too mean and also let me know what you like about it =p. Thanks in advance.

8/15/2009 . Edited 8/15/2009 #268

*off topic*

bump, please anyone to help me out by betaing? I could really use some help getting my story together. help woudl be appriciated, thank you.

8/19/2009 #269

I'll beta you, if you like.

8/19/2009 #270
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