Advice on Love
In this forum you can do whatever you want. Ask for advice from other people and talk about your love and crushes. Talk about love in general. No flamers allowed!
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OneWithVoice

Come on I know your out there. Tell me about your secret loves.

5/10/2008 #1
Amber Laurel

Mine are nonexistant.

5/29/2008 #2
HaleyEmma

Mine take my heart, out tit right in my face, put it on the ground and stomp on it.

6/3/2008 #3
OneWithVoice

C'mon I'm sure its not that bad. People don't just purposley hurt you.

6/7/2008 #4
Tortue

love huh?

7/19/2008 #5
OneWithVoice

Why do people seem to hate love so much? That is one thing that I have never understood? And you can love your friends too, and friends that are guys, without liking them sexually and all that. Love isn't just when two people are sexually attracted to one another. You love your parents and siblings don't you?

7/23/2008 #6
OneWithVoice

How do you not love someone? There has to be someone out there that you love.

7/23/2008 #7
Lord Noctis

I don't think its possible to live without loving somebody. As for why some people hate it, sometimes it has a way of turning against you. I'm the prime example, I fell in love with a wonderful young lady, and now I spend my days depressed on the couch trying to figure out how I got here.

8/2/2008 #8
Lady Glass

I think that's a very good point, ThePontificator. Love is not just romantic love. There are many different "sects" of love. Love between family members, love between friends, hell, even love between a pet and the human. I believe love is a very beautiful thing, in all of its forms. And love itself is not something that should be hated. It is us who manipulate "love" and make it a bad thing. Love itself, in its purest and deepest form, is something that changes lives in the most wonderful way. Yes, it does strip us down completely so we completely bare ourselves to the person we love. Love makes us very vulnerable, and as humans, we do not seem to like the idea of being vulnerable. We like to feel powerful and in control. It can be very hard to allow yourself to completely bare your soul to someone and just trust that they will still respect you, care for you, stay with you, love you. Sometimes they don't, and we feel betrayed, small, and powerless. But when the feeling is returned, it is the most amazing feeling in the world.

8/17/2008 #9
Fake Plastic Android

Would someone please review my poem, Im new to this site, and it would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

8/26/2008 #10
Aeonian Code

I'll review your poem, and as for Lady Glass's point......

I am a prime example of the other extreme lol.

I met the most wonderful girl in the world... we even agree we've found.. "the one" so to speak.

But I can't see her face to face - I met her through my friend Jared on MSN and now me and Cassandra (also known as Cassie, Cass, and Rukia)

talk every day on her phone or pc. She has dial up though....

I used to live in Edmonton Alberta (Only a 2 hr drive away from Cass, in Sandy Beach, also where jared lives)

but 0.5 years ago (I have been living in the Soo for about 2 yrs)I happened to fall in a very deep love trouble (a crush of mine started lying and saying she did all sorts of things to me and my friend which she didn't)

Cassandra helped me through it and somehow emotions sparked....

.

.

.

.

I love her :) I feel ontop of the world when I talk to her :) I'm like.. addicted to talking to her lol.....

same with her to me... and apparently I worry too much about her lol...

10/14/2008 #11
Lady Glass

:) I can understand the situation you're in, Nigu's Passion. My boyfriend lives in England and I live in the US so obviously it poses some issues, but I'm going to be flying over there to visit him this summer and I'm saving up to fly him over here (we've both agreed he pays for my trips there, I pay for his trips here) and I know that we can make it work, it will just take time and patience, but we both love each other very much and he's been one of my best friends over the past year, helping me while I was in a not-so-happy "sort of relationship" with another guy and helping me after the guy split up with me.

10/14/2008 #12
Aeonian Code

Sweet!

So far Cassandra is paying for everything because I'm... below what you'd call middle class.

I'm by no means poor, I live in a house with a big screen(ish, it's a 52' or somethin like that with HDTV support)

and 2 desktops, and my mom's laptop. My sister has a gamecube, my dad has a pS2.

My gamecube died awhile ago when my retarded sister threw apple-juice on it and the first theing my parents did was buy HER a nwe GC...

but oh well, her GC is in MY room :) (As of recently because she switched bedrooms, and she's always been so messy...)

.

.

Nice to know someone out there in my position lol xD

She said if and when she gets a job (no earlier then Jan 08 and when she gets her SIN#)

She'll send me money.. and apparently she won't take my "no, you don't have to" for an answer.....

lolg....

.

.

.

Heads Up, I made a new account. PenName's LeadSmack.

Suits me a bit more... considering I've been writing dark poems lately...

I plan on focusing more on fiction with this account... Nigu's Passion is my established poet lolg.

LeadSmack will be my established actual writer xD

10/15/2008 . Edited 10/15/2008 #13
Jeremy S. Rainheart

Ok - I have an interesting situation to pose to the forum then, and get everyone's opinion on it.

There is a girl (but isn't it always?), that I have known for quite some time. That's where the simplicity stops. She and I met online when I was 13 and she was 16. I'm 20 now, a struggling college student and she's a graduate looking for what to do next. She lives in Iowa, I live in Alabama. Because of the time that she came into my life, I pretty much framed my perfect girl image in my head around her, I think. I lived in a very dysfunctional family and getting to talk to her, both online and on the phone, really made life a lot easier. She and I were briefly in a relationship when I was 14, but eventually just came to the agreement that things could not work in that situation and went back to being the best of friends. A lot happened quickly - I met a girl at my high school that I started getting close to, my mother tried to kill me, I got thrown from home to home. I was scared to admit to my long-time crush (We will just call her #1) that I was getting into a relationship with someone else, so I just...slowly stopped talking to her. Biggest mistake of my life. I went nine months before I got back in touch with her, but things were not the same. We both had grown up so much apart from each other in just nine months. She had a boyfriend up there, my girlfriend and I had gone far with our relationship. And of course, #1 was very hurt by my actions. We kept in contact occasionally for the next several years, but we were never close again like we had been. I was with that girlfriend (#2) for three years before she broke up with me, and utterly shattered my heart. But even when I was in that relationship, and I loved #2 very deeply, I always felt like #1 was the one for me. Because... I think my mind had always set her up at that pedestal and from then on compared everyone else to her. Well, #1 and I have been talking a little more frequently lately, and spend seven hours on the phone the other day, talking like we used to. We laughed. We cried. And she said that, in my position years ago, she probably would have done the same thing (which, of course, made me cry my eyes out because not even I had forgiven myself for such a dumb move). And now once again the fire for her in blazing in my heart. She and I are talking about setting up a trip somewhere, sometime in the next year to finally meet face-to-face. Your thoughts?

10/24/2008 #14
Lady Glass

Hmm, well first of all - I think it's great that you guys are going to meet up. :) I really wish you two the best of luck, and I hope you guys hit it off in person as well as you do online and on the phone. :)

But I also have to throw in a bit of "advice" (not really advice, more like my observations :P) because you sound eerily like my ex boyfriend in some regards.

Basically, I had this ex, let's just call him Dan, who had apparently had the "perfect" relationship with a girl we'll call Bess. He played piano and she sang, she was beautiful, intelligent, funny - everything most girls strive to be. They also met online and they met up a few times and he was really happy with her and even proposed, even though she was only 17 (he was something like 21 at the time, I believe) but she turned him down (like most 17 year olds would, who wants to be engaged that young?). Now, fast-forward two and a half years and you have me and Dan. We also met online, from the same site that brought Dan and Bess together. They're still friends and I talk to Bess a little, and the deeper Dan and I get into our relationship, the more I see 1) how deeply Bess had unintentionally hurt Dan and 2) how much Dan compares me to Bess, perhaps not consciously, but he does. Like you, he had put Bess on a pedestal and viewed her as his perfect, ideal girl.

Eventually it became the downfall of us. He had come to believe that the only girl who would be suited to her was someone who was as much like Bess as he can find. One night he and a girl friend of his started talking more and he discovered how much like Bess she was and he promptly dumped me for this girl and they're still together. In a way, I really don't blame him, as the months have gone by I've seen that we really do work better as friends, but he was honestly my first love and to be broken up with because you're not who you're wanted to be is very hurtful.

Basically I'm just saying, try not to put #1 on a pedestal as you've admitted you're kind of doing. If things don't work out between you and her (though I hope they do), don't spend the rest of your life looking for some clone/replacement of her, because you cannot have only one "type" of girl who you're suited for.

And just so it doesn't seem I'm the sobbing ex of "Dan" - I do have a boyfriend now who I'm absolutely head over heels for, one of my best friends who really helped me out when Dan broke up with me, and waited patiently for me to heal and realize how I felt about him, only to find that for all those months of sobbing to him about troubles in mine and Dan's relationship, he'd been in love with me and never told me because he didn't want it to affect our friendship or my relationship with Dan.

Good luck with meeting #1. :) I'm sure since you guys have hit it off so well now that you're back in contact, you won't have any problems connecting in person. My advice about meeting up would be to set up a specific goal and work toward that. My boyfriend bought a plane ticket last August for my trip to see him in England in July '09. Dan and his new girlfriend (who's from Germany) are meeting up in February, and another online/long distance couple I know (from England and Germany) are meeting up in November, December, and meeting up with me and my new boyfriend next July. Start saving up and really make sure you're working hard to meet with her because it's easy to talk about meeting up, Dan and I did that all the time, but actually making plans is what will make sure it gets done. :)

10/24/2008 #15
Silentkitt

Hey, this is Nigu's Passion, I thought I would start anew the sea known as fictionpress.

personally I don't really wanna read all of that typing and write something that long.

but after a quick skim-

i wish you the best of luck.

The forum hasn't died has it?

10/29/2008 . Edited 10/31/2008 #16
OneWithVoice

No this forum has not died because I have a new and rather interesting problem to bring to it. Friends with benefits.

About a month ago I met this guy, who I really and honestly liked. He was nice, funny and everything I ever wanted. And it turns out he liked me too. Things sort of sparked from there. We would go places togather and we even took

on some of the physical parts of a "relationship". But just last week he told me over MSN that he wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. And I just thought oh well... thats his choice and I can't do anything about it. But then he

told me he just wanted all the physical parts of the relationship with me. He wanted me too be his friend with benefits.

The whole episode kind of crushed me because I thought he actually cared for me, even though we were never "going out" or officially boyfriend, girlfriend. I like him alot, still even after what he did to me. I;m not sure what to do

because I don't want to be "that girl" you know the slut that all the girls hate and the guys like, and I'm also very conservative on the physical areas of a relationship, but I still like spending time with him. If anyones ever been in this

kind of situation before or knows someone who has, and has any advice please help. I'm desperate here.

Thanks.

11/15/2008 #17
Lady Glass

I have been in a slightly similar situation, except I was the one who didn't want a relationship and so the guy who did want the relationship suggested we start a 'friends with benefits' type relationship instead because it seemed at the time that every time we were together, "passion" took us over.

My advice: Don't do it.

If you already want a relationship with him, then you'd be going into this kind of "friends with benefits" thing with feelings for him, and it's very hard to separate your feelings from sex (or making out, whatever it is you guys would be doing) when it's with someone you like a lot or love. I turned down the guy when I was faced with that proposition and told him we had to stop falling into each other's arms whenever we were alone, and we did. Now we're still very close friends, and he's gotten over me.

You say you're conservative in the physical areas of a relationship, and to me that should be the first alert that this type of relationship with the guy would not be good for you. If you're conservative in an actual relationship, could you handle it in something that's not even a relationship? I'd say stay friends with him and tell him that you'd rather have an actual relationship or just a normal friendship, not a mix of the two - maybe he will change his mind and want a real relationship later on. :)

Good luck. :)

I have a semi-love related question I guess? Christmas/Birthday gifts! :) What to get my boyfriend? :P He already sent me my gifts and I basically know what they are, and they're not necessarily sentimental but they're also not just some random crap he got me. :P I'm trying to figure out what to get him. He sent me his amazon wishlist but they're mostly CDs and DVDs and I can't get him any of the DVDs anyway because I live in the US and he's in England so the region codes mess us up. I got him one of the CDs on his list along with another thing, but I want to get him something meaningful as well for his birthday which is December 12. Any advice from guys? What sort of things do you guys appreciate? I mean, it's easy enough for girls :P A necklace or ring or something, but for you men it's so difficult! :P

11/15/2008 #18
OneWithVoice

Thanks Lady Glass for the advice.

I know I'm not a guy and I don't have a suggestion for what to get him for his birthday, but I do have a few words of advice. You said his birthday is on December 12. I feel obligated to say this because my birthday is on Christmas Eve. Make sure you DO NOT get him anything whatsoever for his birthday that has anything to do with Christmas (unless of course he asks you). I always hate when I get Christmas-related brithday gifts, or combined presents. So just keep that in mind when buying=)

11/15/2008 #19
Lady Glass

No problem :)

And yes, I can sympathize with that! My birthday is December 3 - not that close to Christmas, but you know how everything Christmas starts November 1 anyway! :P So yeah, I've been keeping that in mind. :) I have to send his birthday and Christmas presents at the same time because it's too expensive to send the two packages separately, I'm just labeling which ones are for his birthday and which are for Christmas. :) We have a strict no peeking policy :P I've had to hide his package up in my closet to avoid the temptation of looking as he'd never know since he doesn't live here, haha :P

11/15/2008 #20
OneWithVoice

Yes Christmas starts in November. I know what you mean about expensive shipping=). I have some cousins who live in Switzerland and thats how I get my presents from them.Which I don;t mind because I understand that:P

Also I'm having a little problem with something called jealousy:P:P:P:P......Not quite sure how to deal with it:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

11/16/2008 #21
Lady Glass

Do you mean you're jealous of someone or someone else is jealous of you?

11/16/2008 #22
OneWithVoice

Unfortunately, someone is jealous of me. It also happens to be a friend that I've had for many, many years. I've tryined to tell her that it's stupid for us too be friends for so long then to stop over something so small. But people say jealousy is a strong emotion, and I believe them. I've been struck by jealousy before and I'm pretty sure everyone has. I've learned to control it though after a few episodes in which the end consequences were quite heavy. I learned my lesson, but I'm not sure what to do about her. She's also a year younger than her and everytime I try to talk to her she ends up telling me to stop trying to act like her older sister=(.

11/16/2008 #23
Lady Glass

Well I'm sorry that's happened. :( If the friendship is in jeopardy on her terms, then I'm afraid there's not much you can do other than try to avoid getting too angry with her and hoping that she'll come to her senses. If you try to hard it could cause her to just push you away even more, but if you're patient and just try to hold it together (and believe me, I know how difficult it is to do that when your friend is pushing you away, it's happened to me before), hopefully she will change her mind and realize what a wonderful friend she is losing.

11/16/2008 #24
Silentkitt

Sorry I disappeared... for a bit..

1/8/2009 #25
Aeonian Code

I finally remembered the password for this account, yes it's me Quill of Copper/CopperQuill/Nigu's Passion/Kitteh Guardian

This is my main account.

And I have a whole new problem....

.

.

Me and Cassandra are "Taking a Break" and when I aksed her if she ever intended on getting together again she said probably..

i even managed to work out when our Anniversary is, Februrary 13... And I did the math and we were going out for 325 days.

(Feb 13 2008 to Jan 9 2009) I wish I could work out the exact minutes or seconds... but my calculator wouldn't be able to handle that large a number.

I plan on working out the hours though....

I've sorta... well... I lived for Cassandra... She made me really happy... on the rare occasion we could talk..

And.. well she said I made her really happy too....

And...........

*sigh* I cried for the first time in a long time last night....

And... I had my whole life planned around Cassandra..

She was going to be there all the way...

I'm.. I dunno anymore........

But I figured you guys must have gone through something like this before...

I'm not one to directly ask for help but... this time I think I need it...

As much as I hate to admit it..

1/10/2009 #26
Lady Glass

:( I'm very sorry to hear that, Nigu's Passion. If it's too prying, don't feel obligated to answer, but did she give a reason for wanting to take a break?

I understand what you're going through, when I was with my ex, he and I did a similar sort of "break" because he was having some doubts about his feelings for me. In the meantime, I gave him some space but still talked to him casually. I kept from saying, "I love you" so he didn't think I was trying to pressure him and I just waited for him to sort himself out. We did get back together, but it was never the same between us. I was really torn up because, like you, I'd been planning my life around him. I was looking up colleges near him so I could move to the east coast to be closer to him and saving up to move, but thankfully he broke up with me before it got that far.

I don't really know what advice to give you, I'm sorry to say. Just try to keep going on with your daily things and don't dwell on it too much. Be patient, but don't wait around forever.

1/10/2009 #27
Aeonian Code

MMMmmmmk... thanks...

well.. . . .... ... .. I guess talking about Ayla as much as I did may have threw her off lol...

But I was scared when I heard her voice-mail on my cell.. she said she already hurt herself, said multiple times not to worry...

.....

I haven't been able to ask her what she meant yet...

1/11/2009 #28
BeautifulxLove

I'm in love with a guy who lives thousands of miles away from me. It's so hard. But there is no one else I want.

1/15/2009 #29
Silentkitt

I feel the exact same way about Cassandra!

And me and Ayla aren't going out anymore.

But wer estill friends I guess..

but now I'm going out with Tara... and me and Cass are taking a break.. etc..

8sigh8

1/16/2009 #30
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