The Roadhouse
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i'll just have some water, but I do where you're coming from. and i do have some issues with the writing, i guess old habits die hard. i will try, but i'm a bit too lazy about seperating the speech. it would be much easier, but i just lost interest when the first time i heard about seperating things i was told to seperate every idea and i freaked out not really knowing the best time to seperate the ideas, and this bad habit started. now i will say the detective thing is true, that was a somewhat reluctant thing to put in, but i just felt like adding something like and abnormality to him. then the description problem is something i kick myslef about. i know that books are suppose to use the imagination, but then I related it to TV. It told you what to see, but in the case of literature, it tells you what to imagine. i just told myself that if you use imagination, then they should create their own person. really use the imagination and create the world your own way. if he has spikey hair, then he will. if he has feminin hair then so be it, which leads me to this one thing. i know that the one thing he had said was sexist and it was a very rude remark. beleive me i am no sexist, but i was just thinking about that, and i have to say. i respect women to a very high degree, but i found a bit of truth in those things. now right now i proably sound in denail, in which it may be so, but i will take these things into consideration if i get past the ten layers of stupidity and the five extra layerds of laziness. i really appreaciate the review. peace out!

7/20/2008 #91
Violent Messiah

Heh...a bit to lazy to separate the speech? Hitting the Enter button after each piece of dialog is kind of exhaustive, isn't it? j/k

Seriously though...if you want to get better, you have to read more and keep writing. I suggest doing what I did when I was a kid (because I'm like, an ancient 24 and all) and read some of your favorite best selling authors, and take note of what they do. I myself read everything, from the really good, the really bad and the down right ugly. I needed to do that to see what works and what doesn't, and help me with my writing. I like to think it worked as I've picked up a few tricks, although my writing style is still a work in progress.

Anyway, don't give up and keep writing. Cheers!

7/20/2008 #92

actually i think i will start to seperate the speech, i'm no good with seperating ideas and stuff, but in speech i think it sounds fair, just so i won't have to continuesly say "he said," or "he asked" or anything along those lines, and don't worry i won't give up. i love writing too much to do that.

7/21/2008 #93

Could I get some decaffinated water, and a review for Jude and Nix?

7/21/2008 #94
heart shaped box x3

One water and a review for Jude and Nix coming right up.

7/21/2008 #95

if you're talking to me then i have to say i'm no great reviewer, but I'd still be happy to

7/21/2008 #96

whoops i wa s talking to myself

7/21/2008 #97
choc me

Hi! Can I have review for my story (the only one I've written)? It's not completed and I'm not sure how to go on with it. I'd like some real criticism...a honest opinion.


7/22/2008 #98
heart shaped box x3

One review for Happy Dust, coming right up.

Would you like a drink with that?

7/22/2008 #99
Ashelin Efflorescence

What a clever idea! I'll have a virgin margarita and a review for The Thing About Conspiracies. Please and thank you!

7/22/2008 #100
Violent Messiah

Hmm...after reading the description of The Things About Conspiracies, I think I'll take it as I do appreciate good violence. Expect a review in the next several minutes.

7/22/2008 #101
Violent Messiah

Order up!

One virgin margarita and a review of The Thing About Conspiracies. Enjoy!

7/22/2008 #102
english summer rain

a pain that i'm used to pls?

to violent messiah : i edited the ending. i hope you think it's better now :)

7/22/2008 #103
Violent Messiah

Order up!

Review for A Pain That I'm Used To. I see the ending got switched...finishes off a little smoother, I think. -=)

7/22/2008 #104
Violent Messiah

Wow, kinda slow in the bar. Ah well...can I get an honest review of either An Anti Hero's Tale or Heaven's Requiem: The Forsaken?

7/24/2008 #105

A review for 'Her, Ayuki' please.

Um, I guess the interesting thing here is there aren't any waiters or waitresses but far too many bartenders for its size. I wonder how the owner looks after the budget :)

And to add, it's because those that are here are actually drunk, so me included starts saying silly things.

7/26/2008 #106
heart shaped box x3

I'd give a review to both of you, but I'm not so good at those genres. Sorry. =/

7/26/2008 #107

Could someone please review "Of water and boats"

Pretty please?

7/26/2008 #108
Violent Messiah

That's OK, Heart...I got these.

Order up!

One review for Her, Ayuki! And you're right, is rather weird we have no waiters or waitresses. As for too many bartenders, I don't know about that. It seems like my part time status somehow went full time by the amount of reviews I've been handing out. -=x

7/26/2008 #109
Violent Messiah

Order up!

One review for Of water and boats! Dreamer, your mind works in wonderfully weird ways, you know that? Heh.

7/26/2008 #110
Imaginary Rose

It's alive!!!

I'm back. Surprised, right? I know you all missed me.

Sorry for wilting on you, so as an apology I've written reviews for: Heaven's Requiem; Her, Ayuki; and Of water and boats.

And while I'm here can I get a review for Justin the Crazy. Just the first chapter if you're uncomfortable with slash. Thanks bunches!!!

7/26/2008 #111
heart shaped box x3

One review for Justin the Crazy coming right up.

7/26/2008 #112

One review for Of water and boats! Dreamer, your mind works in wonderfully weird ways, you know that? Heh.

Hehehe, a lot of people say that lol. Thanks man, that made my day =D

7/26/2008 #113

Hi. Is it possible to get me a little bit of absinthe here from you lovely people, along with a review of "Catharsis"?


7/26/2008 #114
Violent Messiah

Order up!

One review for Justin The Crazy!

Thanks for your in-depth review of my piece, Rose. You made some good points, so I'll have to look into a few of them. Others, though...heh, we'll just have to agree to disagree. -=)

7/26/2008 #115
eamane tinuviel

hey everyone! newcomer to the roadhouse bar ^_^

i have a humongous craving for a shirley temple & perhaps a review for one of my stories: if you're into mythology, try the tides. if you're more of a sci-fi type, dirige nos. or if you just want a good laugh, ugly.

i don't feel right having someone review me without reviewing back. so if you leave a review for one of my stories, i'll gladly return the favor. just let me know you came from the bar and which story or poem you'd like me to review =)

7/26/2008 . Edited 7/26/2008 #116
Violent Messiah

Siren, after reading your piece twice, I have come to the conclusion that I am no where near qualified to properly review your work. Its technically sound and I did see a number of lines I liked (the gun-mouth kiss comes to mind, of course), but I'm guessing you were looking for more then that. Something like that deserves a review from someone that knows their romance stuff, and if my name and stories didn't clue you in, that's not really me. I just didn't want you to think that we were ignoring you here, because we really don't do that.

Well, *I* get ignored time to time, but that's just because I work here. Heh. -=x

7/27/2008 #117
Violent Messiah

Welcome, eamane...hope you enjoy. -=)

Order up!

One Shirley Temple and a review for dirige nos. I figure it was only proper I did this review since you were kind enough to review one of mine. -=x

7/27/2008 #118
Hey eamane, welcome to the Roadhouse. Hope you've enjoyed your stay. :) Anyway, free refill? I shot another review your way, for "Ugly."
7/27/2008 . Edited 7/27/2008 #119
heart shaped box x3

Welcome Emamne. I also reviewed "Ugly." =]

7/27/2008 #120
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