*Stabs Ragnarok with stick*2/21/2007 #31
Well, out of everyone here, I'm the only one still going strong whereas the other seemed to have been leaning off the window. Though crunch time for me is looming near, I'm still writing. Talk about devotion, huh? Also, looks like I'm becoming the caretaker of Dice's Underground Constellation till Sakka resumes maintaining it. Man... I'm starting to feel like an old f*** already.
Hmm... well it is true that some of my stories are like going down the drain. But now I can write more, and hopefully have more time on the computer, seeing as my family jumps on it everytime its open... And why exactly was I stabbed with a stick for anyway? Yeah, I do have a lot of reviews to catch up on anyway, sorry Outlaw02, I'll try to review your stories ASAP.2/21/2007 #32
Hmmm... well, I'm coming back strong and I'll try to make thins up tto everybody, I just need to know what you guys main stories.
-The Young Writer, Ragnarok Elements
i'm still here...for what it's worth...which is nothing...lol2/26/2007 #33
well I guess I gotta say I'm dissapointed in myself. i didn't know I was that much of an influence. I wanna formally apologize to tyhe crew of Aka Meteor Infinity and the many great writers of Fictionpress. I left many projects unfinished and many which are in production hell and may never be done. But in this past year of hiatus I didn't write, I in fact gave up on it for a bit, I didn't write a novel, and instead I sat at home for three months, I tried to kill myself a few times, and I turned into a total junky. I'm keeping a steady jobn, my Pc is broken, and I sneak on. Chances are I may not be putting anymore stories up on Fp for months or possibly never. BUt some good news, I have quit smoking, I don't do drugs (well I smoke weed every now and then (and I smoked a lot of O*** while writing BSR)), I have a job, I've quit my suicidal ways, I lost over 85 pounds since last august and that made me much thinner. I did just get otu of a bad relationship and I wanna personally thank Jena for f*** my writing up and ruining my life. I wanna thank all of the people on FP that supported me through the good times and the bad. Things I do hope to get better. I've been unable to work on One Night Stand which Dice Darwin recently gave to me, but I do wanna continue this project. I still plan on finishing Krist (And I've got so many ideas. it's a story that brings me to tears when I think it through and through) but I do plan on doing some rewriting. Subject One will be finished and I hope to get it done (If possible) before June 3rd because it's taken over a year to complete. But so many know, my jump drive containing many unfinished works and stories that I believe would've made BSR look like s*** has gone missigna nd I don't know what i'm planning. So basically I've been f***. It's better to burn out than tpo fade away tho. I'm happy to say I burnt out. I don't really wanna leave FP, I've had many good memories here, and I've made many friends. I thank you all for supporting me. I love you all like family, keep writing.5/8/2007 #34
Peace, Love, Triangle
Hey there,5/9/2007 #35
That's quite a history you went through when you were away. No wonder I was constantly kept told not to get into a relationship until I'm ready for it. Anyway, yes, you were the booster here in FP, hence without your presence it is a killer missing key that led here to disarray. Dice Darwin's presence did hold onto that last ditch boost before he departed for writing a proper novel to publish, though he does pop in here now and then. I'm very much taking my time doing the writing, since now I have to deal 5 special projects this year. Yes, 5 projects, all of which are not easy to do. One being the Oil skimmer, a game machine, a road show, a solar tracker, and Energy saver.
However, thats not the excuse for me to leave FP behind, and I never will until my National Service where I'll be absent for at least 3 years.
Since my stepdad went off to war, I'm abvle to get on my mom's pc more, so I'm hopefully plannign to really dish out some stories soon. Dude, relationships are good for you. YOu should go for it. Love is everything, love is all you need. I didn't handle the breakup well because Jena was the one girl I thought meant everything to me and was someone i culd spend my life with, but I was wrong. I am going in and out of them now. I was dating this black chick named Jackie for a few weeks, but she's gone now. It sucks, I know. I'm on Youtube and myspace, everybody take note in that. I'm posting videos regularly on youtube. And to all those wondering, no I'm not emo, and I am in person as you see me on here, lol.5/10/2007 #36
By the end of this week I will start writing my next story. I was gonna start rewriting Dice Darwin's "One Night Stand", but I wanna do something original and I believe i should take some time to work out a plot for One Night Stand. It's a good story, I just gotta think of a way to tell it. My next story to be hitting FP is not quite clear. i've got an idea to either do X-Drive (It was a story I hand wrote and was still writing before I started with teh Drifter), i was thinking about doing Robot Savior because Bullets Over Flowers (if that's still his name) was taking too long with his version and I wanted to do one more in the groove of the original plot, or I could try something very reminicent to BSR or Subject One. So everybody knows, Krist is still being written. It is on Hiatus for the time being, and for that I'm sorry, but I don't think many were reading it anyways, so does it matter? lol. Peace5/10/2007 #37
Yeah, this is Dice.5/11/2007 #38
Darket man, I think you'll be okay. Its messed up, the stuff you went through, but you're still here and thats what counts. So stay stong. And if your writing style isn't what it used to be, you're not alone. Just write when you can, and don't worry about the quality. That's what editing is for.
Outlaw, I'm suprised you're still around. Maybe I shouldn't be. I think you like this site more than I ever did. Anyway, good luck on your projects. I'm sure you'll do fine.
I remember the old days, when I used to kinda look up you two as the best of the manga section. You two and Bullets over Flowers (Planet Axis?). It was cool, especially since I was learning on the fly.
And whatever happened to aka MI anyway? I remember when we used to make some good stories. I think the collaborating thing didn't work well, but we could've still did something.
Life has been hectic for me, and haven't had as much time to write. My writing style isn't on the level that it was. I need to get back into this, and we used to have good times here, so I'm gonna start posting here again. I set out to bring life to the manga section, and I never accomplished that goal. So I'm gonna give it one last go.
Anybody up for making one last writing group? Nothing complicated and no collaborations, just us posting stories under one account. It could be entertaining, and we've all pretty much lost our fanbase under our solo accounts anyway.
Hey, I'm loyal to Fictionpress until the right time for me to move on from here. And while you were busy, Dice, Shattered Entity has hit 20 chapters, just to give you a heads up. Quite an achievement considering how much of a controversy the story started out before it mellowed down. And well, just to rub my projects in, the 6th one just came in as well. Oh boy...5/11/2007 #39
i'm game if enough people are in5/11/2007 #40
Uh... Yeah, you probably don't remember me by now, but remember Ragnarok Elements? That j*** who made tons of empty promises? Yeah thats me.5/12/2007 #41
Hey Darket, I haven't heard from you in a while.
Wow... yeah, I was the one that reviewed your stories for a bit before I stopped writin on this site, entirely actually. The things you have been through are really rough, but according to you, you've become a new man, good for you to overcome all those hardships. I'm sorry for making this reply to you so short after I've been gone for so long, but yeah... I'll be the first review you new stories as I finish up the very first chapter of my story. Yeah... lets just hope this not another empty promise.
Outlaw02... I'm glad to see you're still going strong.
Yeah... I remember that I made tone of promises to you to review, but I never kept them. I know saying sorry wont do heal that much either. I will review your stories though, I just hope this isn't another one of those empty promises that are gonna haunt me... But yeah, I really do hope that I will be able to review your current stories. I know I'm behind the times on FP and all, but are you still doing Tokyo Battalions? Yeah, that was one of my favorties.
Dice... Heh, yeah, remember me? The one who was one of yyour biggest fans but didn't show it that much? And the one who's writing style you used to make oneof you stories? Yeah, thats me.
I'm glad to see thats you're coming back to FP to restore your writing skills. The main reason I left FP for a while was to improve my writing, my current works were jokes compared to the others of MI, especially You, Yjanz, Outlaw02, and Felicia. Yeah... thats probably a reason why I left, my writing weren't good enough. I hope you update soon so I can review.
Yeah... this is a promise I intend to keep: To keep writing and keep reviewing. My stories are gonna be better, if they aren't... I'll still write.
A new name and a new beginning. I just hope the path this time isn't so short...
Well, part 1 of Tokyo Battalions (simply called "Tokyo Battalions") is already complete while its sequel, "Tokyo Battalions: Illusion" is underway. the prequel titled TB:1939 will be the last one to go as its contains the most answers to the mystery embedded in the series. Only problem is that I have to deal with 5 school projects, and the sixth one is coming up hard.5/12/2007 #42
I changed accounts, but kept the name. This account feels fresher somehow. Maybe its a psychological thing. The Ghost of Manga's Past seemed like a fitting final name for the old account.5/12/2007 #43
Anyway, ByFyreLyte: Man, you've got skills. Its good to see you're around too. I'll work on getting some more people in on this group thing. If it doesn't work out, I'll just start a C2 for all of us. That might be easier anyway.
Durandel: I have no clue what your name means, but it looks kinda cool. I remember you. You were never a bad writer to me. I've seen far worse than how you used to write, and you kept on improving. So don't sweat it. Overall, just remember that there's far more important things in life than this site. Don't let anything here get you down, because its not that serious.
And Outlaw, you do really have a knack for slipping in shameless advertisements. I can't help but to laugh at that. I'll get to Shattered Entity. Don't worry about it.
Well, let's just say that when I type, I don't really think ahead. That's one of my flaws there, and even cost some of my friendships as of late. :P5/12/2007 #44
Well I've just begun working on my next story. It's a little bit of a change compared to what I've normally been doing. I'm going to post my next story some time next week since now my PC has been fixed and I can type normally. If the story ends up being bad (and I can garunteed you it won't be better than BSR, that saying if it ends up beign good) I apologize, But I tried. THe story is an action story, it will be a change from my normal stuff, but I do promise gory scenes, violence, romance, and all that good stuff that you normally get out of my stories. I just hope people read it. And once again I apologize for stepping away from FP for so long5/14/2007 #45
Um, I'm actually halfway done with the first chap on the new story. I normally don't do this, but would anybody be willing to proofread the first chap for me and make some suggestions with the flow of the story? I wanna make sure I pace it right. The stroy has no name yet, and it's the first story in a while I've written while NOT under the influence of drugs5/14/2007 #46
Um... I know this sounds weird, but can you guys take a look at this? This is a sample of the first vhapter and I was wondering if it was going okay...5/16/2007 #47
The hall echoed softly as my foot tapped against the floor. The sun shone though the open balconies within the hall, splashing its orange glow over the brilliant white marble. I lifted my head and wiped some of the sweat from it, it wasn’t because of nervousness, and it wasn’t because of my impatience, the heat was the problem. Though the marble was white, and was supposed to reflect the sunlight away, the heat still swelled in the air, leaving a thick and lasting feeling of humidity lurking in the air. I flicked some of my slightly spiky white hair from my head, and rub my golden eyes as I waited, growing tired.
I lifted my hand and emitted a gold aura from it, testing to see that my powers were working properly. The gold aura dissipated as I put my hand down. I waved my hand and created a force field in the formation of many clear hexagons as a wall directly in front of the door. I started to wait again. The door went to splinters in less than a few seconds afterwards. I put down the field and ran into the cloud of dust and smoke, tackling about three men in mid-air. I did a roll as I hit the grassy floor of the castle courtyard, with the three landing on the ground with a hard thud. As I turned around to view my attackers, one was already charging at me.
The attacker swung his blade down upon me only for his blade to shatter as a wall of gold light intercepted the blade. I kicked the assailant in the chin, sending him sprawling through the air. During his downfall, I leapt near him and knocked down faster with wild downward smash. The man rebounded of the ground and flopped in the air again. I grabbed his foot and threw him at his other two companions, who were already charging at me. As the men collided, I lifted my hand and fired a gold blast at them. The attack succeeded and threw the men further back and a flash of gold light. Two out of the three barely got up.
The men drew their blades and ran at me again; apparently ignorant of the fact of what just happened. I lifted my hand as gold rings made of runes gather around my arm. The rings gathered my hand and mixed into a gold orb. A white blade shot out of the orb. I grasped it and swung it in a wide arc.
My blade cleaved my assailants’ blades in two and sent a shockwave that blasted them back. I pulled the blade back and rested it on my shoulder.
“Another easy job…” I commented.
As I went to gather the unconscious men a large group of knights barged into the courtyard from the entrance behind me. I looked around to actually see the extent of the damaged I caused. It was really pretty. The ground was littered with gray rubble, broken crystal and slightly molten gold. Statues were smashed from the explosion of rubble when the explosion ripped through the area. To put it simply, the place was in shambles, in a really bad sense too.
In a matter of minutes, I was placed in front of the king himself, and boy was he ugly. He was a glutton to be precise, being a rather corn fed person, you’d wonder if his heart would stop at any second. I was actually glad that the kind had no heir and no queen, for I wouldn’t think of the horrible things that would go on to make an heir. The thought makes me shiver already. The king’s bald head was covered with a beautifully decorated crown; at least, it would have been if it wasn’t on a glutton king’s head. A large red robe also did a poor job of trying to at least hide the fat; it made it worse in reality. Of course, this had nothing to do with the present situation.
“YOU DARE TO DESTROY MY TREASURE ROOM?!?” The king roared, with a pretty squeaky voice, kind of an oxymoron huh?
“Actually… that wasn-“ I started.
“YOU DARE SPEAK SO RUDELY TO THE KING?!?!” One of his guards roar, everyone must be having a pretty bad day or something, because they sure were yelling a lot.
“Okay, first of all, who’s being rude? According to me the person who interrupts some one in the middle of speech is the actual rude one. Plus, why in the world would I want to show respect to a glutton king that does all but, good choices for his kingdom, pretty obvious on why he deserves no praise huh?”
The guard shut up. The king was a different story.
“HOW DARE-“ The king started, but stopped, gagging and clutching his chest.
“I was wondering when that was gonna happen, it was getting weird that I didn’t see that,” I commented.
“Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you-“ He started again, but stopped in chest pain.
“Man you should stay away from that steak, it could really load up on those pounds, oh, wait, too late.”
“E-enough! T-to t-the d-d-d-d-d-dungeon!”
I bet at this point you’d be wondering on how exactly I got here, right? Of course, that would really fill in the giant gap of plot, wouldn’t it? Well it actually started about a few months ago…
Well? How was it? I just can't decide what genre to put this one in, can you guy help me decide. Oh, Darket, I've decided to make the character you gave me long ago one of the charaters rivals, the data for it got deleted so I wondering if you could give me a description of him again. All other members of Meteor are welcome to suggest charaters as well.
Well, being on a time-constraint, I'll take a look on the glaring points you could, or should have noticed from the start. Well, my attitude has changed ever since I hit second year of Technical School, so yeah, I may get a bit stern here and there. (What can I do with 6 country-wide projects under my belt?)5/16/2007 #48
First things first, you may want to take note that using words like "wasn't" in the first paragraph is not applicable when it comes to description writing. In a description, you are to actually spell out the whole thing, and not using short forms, meaning "was not" is very much suited to the sentences. "wasn't" and the like such as "I'll", 'We'll" and so on is only applicable when a character is speaking. Also, it shows a character's way of speaking or even slang. However, there are exceptions to it. "The King's", or "Assailants' weapons" and the like are eligible as it does not refer to themselves, but instead, their linkage to something else like their own daughter, or treasures and the like. Many times I have read (Do note that I did not type "I've" there) the stories here in FP, and it seems that they have the wrong concept between description and conversational writing. "Dammit" (Damn it) is all right as it tells the reader that the character speaks in slang.
Another hit is the way you picture a yell or scream. Yes, I used to be guilty of it, but after all the fuss between a colleague of mine and a teacher, I came with a decision. SPEAKING THIS WAY IN A CONVERSATIONAL SENTENCE IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. Instead Using Italics or stating that a person was yelling in that sentence works better. Using caps will only make the reader think that you are being disrespectful to the readers, and the English language itself. Trust me, I got hell of a yelling from both my colleague and teacher.
Finally, as for the stuttering. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-It i-i-i-i-i-i-i-is not a g-g-g-g-g-g-good idea t-t-t-t-t-t-to do so as w-w-w-w-w-w-well. This brings up only angered (Or redundant) suspense to the readers. However, should you insist on doing so, "W-who the," , "How am I supposed t-to do?" repeating the word once works better. It clearly shows that the character is stuttering, and the reader may picture out the rest of the sentence that the character is stuttering throughout the sentence.
Well, other than that, I do not see glaring flaws except for the killer three stated. Well, I got to go off now. See you.
Well the "I-i-i-i-i-i" thing seems like a problem, I mean I used to do it too. Well Durandel I liked it, I dunno what to put it in. YOu remind me of me when I was a lot younger and writing. BUt I sucked when I was little, you don't. I vaguely remember that character, I just cannot remember it.I mean sure it's somewhere out there, but I don't know. I can't rmeember it. I sent that idea in over a year ago, and I've done lots of crazy s*** since then. Um, also the new stroy i was planning has been cancelled because I don't think it was well thought out. It was more of a "OH, this would seem cool" and then I said, "Naw, this sucks." SO the mecha story I was planning is just in the s*** right now. It was going to be set some couple thouseand years after BSR. I am going to put full focus on Krist and Subject One now. Krist still has a very promising story to me, and Subject One just needs to be finished because I've come way too far into it to quit. The Drifter sequel (I'm actually taking most of the plot for it and incorporating it into Krist) and Prequel (but do quote me, this prequel WILL be made) planned also seems to be in limbo as well.5/17/2007 #49
Hyper War is not going to see the light of day because it just doesn't seem like something I'd like. I've gotta get ready for work now, and I've got a date tomorrow, wish me luck.
Peace, Love, Triangle
Yeah, dialouge isn't really one of my specialties, I mainly do descriptive works. Thanks to Outlaw02 and Darket for helping me with this, I'll try to post up something soon, depending if I'm not attacked by a mad case of writers block. I'll be looking forward to reading all your guys' new stories as soon as I finish this chapter.5/17/2007 #50
Oh, and to ByFyreLyte, Sorry I haven't talked to you, this is probably the first time I ever talked to you isn't it? Well, nice to meet you and your help is gladly appreciated, just call on us if you need anything, if thats okay with the other members... of course, I'll still help you out. Yeah, just a question, but what kind of stories do you write?
P.S. Do you guys know anything about who else is still on this site? Everyone from Meteor seems to have left the site besides the ones posting near the end of this forum... I know Yjanz is still here, but who else?
Okay, Durandel. I've got time, so I'll drop tips like always. I had to play music while I did this, since it was so much reading and writing.5/17/2007 #51
1. There's no need to have "?!?" at the end of a sentence. You should drop the last question mark.
2. There's nothing wrong with writing "he said" after a line of dialogue. Like you had "I commented" or "he started", but said usually works fine. Nothing wrong with mixing it up, but don't overdo it. If you have trouble finding the balance, try looking at your favorite novels and see how pro writers do it.
3. In a sentence you wrote, you had "he roared" after capitalizing the whole line of dialogue and having an exclaimation point. That's overkill, like you told us three times -- in three different ways -- that he roared. Like Outlaw said, cut the capitalization. While there's nothing wrong with "he roared", all you really need is the exclaimation point, because dialogue should be written so that it stands alone. If I wrote "This rocks!", you'd know I was yelling or shouting it without me adding "I shouted" after that. See what I mean? Again, just find a good balance.
I have to disagree with Outlaw on one point. Unless your writing is meant to be formal, there's nothing wrong with using "wasn't" or anything like that in your description. Technically, he's right in a classroom sense, but teachers have set rules so they can grade everyone's work evenly. When it comes to writing novels, though, there aren't any rules. There's just guidelines to help you form your own style, so you can create the most enjoyable story possible.
Especially in either first-person or third-person limited POVs, since you're showing the story through the eyes of a character who may not be gramatically correct at all times. That character is the one describing every detail of that scene, so it should be told in his or her style of speaking. If that style is meant to be formal, then "was not" would be better than "wasn't." If the style is informal -- slang, everyday speech, etc. -- then "wasn't" is absolutely fine.
There might always be someone telling you you're not writing the "right way", but that's not what matters, because there's no set definition of "correct prose" and "incorrect prose" when it comes to novels. As long as everything you do is intentional and for a good and understandable reason, its fine. You can't please everyone, so what matters is that your target audience is happy with it. Always identify your target audience, understand what they want, then meet or exceed their expectations.
Keep up the good writing. I would suggest characters, but I'm still terrible at it. Everybody has a flaw, right?
And good luck, Darket.
Hallo everybody, it's me: Bullets,5/17/2007 #52
First of all, I was really surprised to see people posting in the aka MI forums, since this place went to the point of not being used that I never bothered checking it. Anyhoo...
Darket: Dude, welcome back to fp, hope your stories kick a**.
Outlaw02: Hey, did you participate in the animax awards competition? It's about less than two weeks before the deadline.
Duandel: hmmm... WyrdWolf seems to be still posting.
Dice: Wooow... your sudden account change gave a bit of confusion around here. I mean, I became the messenger of Raven to Sakka in the anything forum (you posting in her forums is included in her strange stuff happening to fp that Raven wants to discuss with Sakka about). Anyhoo, how's it going? Are you going to post stuff again on your new account?
To all: I just woke up, so if there's any weird error in grammar, then that means I still need a nap.
I'm pretty much still alive in this site; I'm balancing my writing style experiments here while I write a novel I hope to get published someday and preparing my entry for a contest (If I win, I get my story turned into an anime)
Anyhoo, see ya!
Well, Yjanz, I have backed off from the competition after realising that if I were to win the contest, the copyright will no longer be yours, but to animax. Which means that if you are to make a sequel of the copyrighted material unofficially, things would get ugly. _5/17/2007 #53
The copyright thing is not really a problem for me, since the stories I'm entering have been specially crafted for that single contest. lol, sometimes I think I'm much better at planning stuff up than writing them sometimes. Besides, if you win, it'd be kinda like proof that you're skilled.5/18/2007 #54
And there's money, and pride that you get if you're the winner. My ego would be near-infinite if I won, eh?
Well, that's where my problem lies. I'm very much close to my current characters, to a point that I even reuse them in other proses. Tessa Schneider and Aoyama Takayanagi are my favourites as well, so they have a higher chance of making a return in some way. Though, I do have a plan of making their ancestors of sorts. :P5/19/2007 #55
Yo, Durandel Here5/23/2007 #56
Thanks Dice for the help, it shed some light on my dark situation.
Nothing much else to say, except what are Axis(is it alright to call you that?) and Outlaw02 talking about
What IS Dice's new account? I was kinda worried to see all his stories gone, and I no longer have his email to ask him himself, it seems...5/23/2007 #57
hey sorry i took so long, i thought the forum was dead...haven't seen anybody around that nobody's pointed out yet. i usually write general or high fantasy, i'm exploring middle-ages themes at the moment.5/24/2007 #58
Well, I'm on a state of suspension right now. I'm waiting on these potential materials where I can get fresh ideas into my brain...5/25/2007 #59
- OP song from Claymore
- ED song from Claymore
- Wangan Midnight anime
- Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai anime
So.. yeah, my mind is a bit rusty, now on life support by some barely influential songs. But the ones from Ali Project pushed me into Aristocrat's styled themes. And yes, I may need some help. Can anyone recommend me some songs that have furious tones to it, yet not being an emo? Examples are 'Hand of Blood' by Bullet for my Valentine. Resident Evil OSTs seemed to have rusted out somehow. But I do have an eye for 300's OSTs. How are their songs? Yes, I haven't watched it, yet.
hmm, try this, though I'm not a bit sure if it fits:5/25/2007 #60
Refuse/Resist - by Sepultera
Are You Dead Yet? - by Children of Bodom
Verta Ja Lihaa - (can't remember who sung it; use limewire)
Angel of Death - by Slayer
Wolt Ihr Das Bett in Flammen Sehen - Rammstein
Whiplash - Metallica/Motorhead-(cover)
Burn it Down - Avenged Sevenfold
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