Camp Fire Friends, Book One: Climbing the Disaster Mountain
By:Emily Van Eaton
As the campfire leader told the story, Junior, the ten year old boy, told his friends,”I like this story!” Sara, Junior's friend, put her head down and her hand on the forehead of her own skinny head. “Junior, really, the odds of that really happening is nada! Zero!” Maggie chipped in at this time,”Sara, Junior said nothing in that sentence about realistic, purely that he liked the story!” Maggie was both Sara and Junior's friend. Everyone liked Maggie for standing up for kids, and so everyone liked her! That is, except the bullies. Maggie often came home with black eyes, bruises, scrapes, etc. All from being pushed around for standing up for kids. Someone very seldom liked Sara. She was a smart aleck. And, like most smart allek's, she had quite a temper, and snapped back at people. “Gosh, Maggie! Golly, jeez!” Junior decided he was tired of it, and stopped the fight. He got in between the two, and said,”Guys, can't we just listen to story in peace?” “Yeah.” “Sure.” So they enjoyed the campfire leader, Jeremy tell the story! “As BoneSteel and his team climbed Mount BoneCrusher, one of his team members fell to his death.” and by this time, every kid had their head down, and each head with sorrow. “So they continued up the mountain, with care, and with the dead team member in mind. Each one of them praying hardly. Everyone in BoneSteel's team had incredible determination, to not stop. But keep going when already 2 of the team members had died. Anyways, they are in Tree Town, underground, and on Mount BoneCrusher. Suddenly... they saw a huge white monster!” all the girls shrieked and the boys said something like, 'I wouldn't be scared, nuh-uh!' and the kind man continued his story when everyone quieted down. “The big white monster was called Yehti. Yehti was sent by a man to devour them up! Someone didn't want them to finish climbing that mountain, or rather, finish climbing it! The white Yehti ate those people who did not pray to God for help. That is when it happened! Every single one of BoneSteel's members, including BoneSteel himself, broke their relationship with God. It is true. All but one, and the Yehti came back! Of course, he had to come back sometime. And the Yehti ate all but the one that prayed and didn't lose their relationship with God. Don't lose your relationship with God, kids!” and everyone said “We won't!” or something like that. Jeremy said,”Kids, you ought to go to your tents. I will tell you more stories tomorrow night! Good dreams! Happy sleeping!” and of course, everyone said,”Good-night!” back. Junior and his friends said their good-nights and went into their tents. When Junior was in his tent thirty minutes later he wasn't asleep. He had a plan brewing he would tell Maggie and Sara the next morning.
“Good morning, Mags! How did you sleep?” Junior told his friend happily. “Good morning. I slept very lousy last night. My sister kept snoring through the night, and the crickets and frogs, too.” Junior laughed at Maggie's remark. He looked at her Carrot color hair, up and down her body, and at her Aqua colored eyes. Now he noticed, Maggie had dark rings under her eyes from no sleep. “I notice now, Mags. You have dark circles under your eyes.” Junior said. “I know. I saw.” Maggie replied. “Maggie, have you seen Sara this morning? I would like y'all to meet us on the logs near the camp fire. If you can.” asked Junior. Maggie replied,”Sorry, no. Why?” “Because I want to tell you something, when no one is there but us.” “Ok, will do! I think Sara is at the Creek. It is only one mile away. In case you didn't know.” “No, actually. I didn't! I'll be sure to look into it, though.” Junior said winking. “Make the time, ten o' clock. Right after breakfast.” said Maggie. “Ok. Ten o' clock!” and then Junior walked off to the dinner hall for breakfast.
AS Junior ate his pancakes he was thinking of his genius plan and the details. He looked at his watch. “10:12? Oh, no! I have to go to the logs!” he threw away his trash immediately and started moving out of the dinner hall. Junior walked quickly. Half run, half walk. I guess you could call it a jog. He could feel and hear the Autumn leaves crunching beneath his shoes. How Junior loved that sound! “Crunch-crunch. Crunch-crunch.” went the leaves. When he arrived at the logs, which was very soon, he saw Sara and Maggie. “Mags, Sara, thank you for waiting! I'm so sorry I was late. I was thinking about what I'm about to tell you, right now.” “Whats that?” asked Sara. “Yeah, what?” Maggie asked. “I have a .... a .... plan!” Junior blurted out. Maggie said,”Really? What kind of a plan?” and Sara was just left speechless. “Yes, I want to explore......” “Yes, yes? Explore what?” “Uh, explore, Mount..... Mount BoneCrusher!” Sara and Maggie were speechless. But Sara said soon afterwards,”Junior! Have we not learned something from last night? That is not real! It is not real. Period.” “I am thinking about going with him.” said Maggie. “Thanks, Mags. Sara, we need a smart person to be there, and it would be a good experience. I know how you have that amazing memory to remember from when you were three, so please! Mags and I need you there. Maggie, it is not that you are not smart, but Sara has a memory like an elephant. Please, Sara?” “Ok, but only to prove I'm right and there is no underground mountain.” huffed Sara. “Junior, Sara, we are definitely going to need a plan, an invincible one!” “Sara, Maggie is right. We can't do it without you!” said Junior. “Ok, first we will ask Jeremy what the full name was of the man or women that survived. Track him down, then ask for a map. When we get to TreeTown, we will find this underground city and mountain. We climb it, and come back home! Do you like it?” Sara said as she unfolded her plan. “Yeah! It would of taken me a week to plan that. Mags, do you like the plan?” Junior remarked. Maggie replied,“It's great! Lets go ask Jeremy now!” “Ok, lets go out on our adventure, amigos! I mean, lets go out on our adventure to prove I'm right, of course!” Sara said. As Sara, Maggie, and Junior walked off, everyone was full of excitement. Sara because she was going to be proven right, Maggie because she loves adventures, and Junior for the thought of not going alone! Junior walked on with his friends. “Penny, have you seen Jeremy?” Maggie asked her little sister. “Yeah, he is still in the dinner hall.” “Thanks, Penny!” and they quickly ran to the dinner hall. They searched and found Jeremy. “Jeremy, we have a very important thing to ask you.” said Junior. “What would that be?” “What was the mans name who survived BoneSteel's team? I am eager to know.” “Well, your looking at him! Yep, it's true.” “Really? Ok, we would like a map of TreeTown and how to find the city underground, please!” Jeremy laughed. “And why do you want to know, Junior?” “We, Sara and Maggie and I, are planning to go to the underground city!” this time Jeremy laughed even harder. “Ok, kids. Let me draw one out. Do you have pencil and paper?” “Uh, yeah.” said Sara, grabbing a receipt paper from her pocket and a pen. Jeremy started to write. “Ok, you go to TreeTown, then you find the Lucky Graham Casino. You go in and you go down the wine cellar. Then you find a hole. In that hole is the underground city! But be sure to bring the longest bungee chord you can find, going down is hard. If you see anyone climbing up the mountain, don't trust them!” “Ok, refresh us on the history!” and Jeremy started telling the story all over again. Jeremy wouldn't have let them disappear like that, but he thought it was all a big fat joke.
“Sara, one thing you didn't think of! Transportation. A bus would do, wouldn't it?” said Maggie as they were walking towards the road. “Yeah, a bus will do!” replied Sara. “Ok, be on the lookout for a bus.” Junior warned. “Look! I see one! A bus!” said Sara, about fifteen minutes later. “Run! We will have to flag it down!” said Maggie. They immediately started to run as fast as they could! They got to the street right before it stopped for them. “Where to?” “TreeTown” “That'll be $5.50, please!” the bus driver said as Sara handed her some money. When they got on the bus it was crowded with scary looking men who all had the same leather jacket. It had a symbol on the front, and the sleeves. The jackets said: "The TreeTown Skulls and Bones." Maggie, Junior, and Sara were all scared. Junior whispered to Maggie,"Wow, those guys look really scary!" "Yeah, they sure do!" Maggie whispered back. But Sara apparently wasn't scared enough to not approach them, because Sara did approach them! "Excuse me, do you know where that Casino, called Lucky Graham is located?" she said. The men laughed. "Look, little girl, we don't give anything out, unless it has a price." one of the men said. The gang laughed again, very meanly. "You just now gave information to us! By saying you don't give information, is actually information." "Sara! I don't think you should of said that!" and the men came closer, and closer, until they were just an inch away from nose to nose. "Little girl, you really shouldn't have done that." said another man. He pushed her down and Sara looked mad and hurt. "You'd best get off this bus, little girl! And you, too, her puny little kid friends!" said the same man. They didn't even care about the money, they ran off the bus in a hurry!
What do you think? SUGGESTIONS NOW!12/21/2008 #1
The number one thing I HATE the most is people who mash words together in an EFFING big paragraph. Use the ENTER keys to make your story look neater. My eyes hurt and I'll go blind if I have to force myself to read something so messy like this.
Why are you writing your story on a forum topic, anyway?11/10/2011 #2
I agree with you, it is a bit annoying to read through a big paragraph like that.4/17/2013 #3
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