Do you have a story you're looking to get more exposure for? Well then go ahead and post up your ICQ and let us know you want to see some readership!2/28/2007 #1
For those who choose to participate: Two things to keep in mind - if you are reviewing, make it a constructive review. Tell the author what is good about the work, what could use some tweeking, and what just doesn't fly for the story.
If you are being reviewed: steel yourself for honest reviews - respect the reviewers opinion even if you don't agree with what is being said. I recommend creating dialogue with those who review for you - it will help get clarification.
And as always show your appreciation for the time someone took to look at your work!
Well being that I started this, I will head up the list.2/28/2007 #2
I would really like some feedback on Gemutations: Plague http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2294723/1/ I am in rewrite on it and I would love some honest feedback on how the flow of the story is working!
Okay, cool. hi. :)3/10/2007 #3
Im TG, and I (technically) run a business on Lulu (lulu.com).
Its not as glamorous as it sounds unfortunately.
Well, I have a story that I would like feedback for, its called Kodoku Kyoko, and it can be found here: Kodoku Kyoko
Shameless plugs...yea I'm up for that.
My latest project is a story that I thought may be interesting to write. Something like a submarine drama except sci-fi and with a focus on the political and economic intrigue. Give it a glance and let me know what you think.
I've got a new project that's a different one: a crime RPG with some scifi elements (to be revealed later, of course...): The Sins of San Dorado.3/23/2007 #5
Shameless self promotion? Count me in. =)3/25/2007 #6
I'm trying to decide if I should continue working on this:
The aim is to create a sci-fi setting using real world technology, so no super powers or the like.
Ooh, cool! A place to shamelessly draw attention to myself! Yay!4/1/2007 . Edited 4/1/2007 #7
It's a mostly-completed rough draft. It follows an emotionally-detroyed, self-destructive, drug-addicted man in a post-apocalyptic world destroyed by invasion. I know, that sounds terribly cliche, but I like to think that it's more than it seems.
Hi there!7/10/2007 #8
I posted on another topic here already... as you can tell I would love somebody to check out my new story, 2057. Like my last, it's a hypothetical look on how things could turn out 50 years from now. So far it's just on the 1st chapter (I am a quick writer though, I only started today) so if you want to start reading, now is a good time!
I'd love some feedback on what you think so far.
Hi, hi.7/20/2007 #9
Well, X Infinity is the only sci-fi I have now since I didn't get what sci-fi was before so stuck with fantasy.
Summary: There were infinite combinations of personalities and characteristics, but only a selected few crossed our lives. Before my return to the frontlines, I had this one question – who was I destined to meet on this particular journey?
It's about war in a sci-fi world that's close to the current world with differences, and hence the sci-fi.
He can't save humanity... all he can do is bring it back from the DEAD.
Summary: A bizarre scifi story about a family infected with a horrific virus, isolated from the rest of the world that's just as sick, and the alien forces trying to control it all.
There were three of them. They rode in on huge hovering behemoths of stainless steel and polymer alloys. The vehicles were like over sized, heavily armored, chopper motorcycles, with a long extended front end, a blindingly bright flood light at the front. They were kept about a foot off the ground by several small anti-grav pods attached to the bottom of the vehicles. They rode in from the South road, fast.
Each one had a small bag on the side of their hovercycle; as the rode they would reach in and disperse a handful of a coarse, sandy, yellow powder, all over the field.
The force from the anti-grav pods was wrecking the flower field, pulling the petals off the sun flowers and towards the hovercyles, then repelling them away from the sheer force of the speed at which the cycles were traveling. The effect created a surreal vortex of flower petals suspended in front of the hovercycles' headlights, glaring light shimmering off the fluttering yellow petals.
The riders were humanoid in form, but alien in visage. They were tall, even riding on their hovercycles it was obvious they were much bigger than a normal human being. They wore large gas masks with large round lenses over the eyes, and twin canister breathing reciprocals. They were covered from head to toe in strange, armored, black and green military attire.
Yo all. The name's I've got a shameless plug for ya, looking for some feedback on a story I'm working on.8/31/2007 #11
They call me Syndrome, but I guess Cpt Obvious would do after that little ray of blatant explination eh? Anyway, here goes http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2405975/1/ . Tell me what ya think, and be honest! Updates coming almost daily.
hey, im crazy. im new to fiction press and this is my first ever fiction that is not fanfiction.
please read it and review it if u have time thanks :P
woo! shameless advertising!12/15/2007 #13
its not on fictionpress but thats because im too lazy to copy and paste it; i had this website before i found this site.
please review on teh guestbook please
Who can resist the opportunity for shameless self promotion?3/15/2008 #14
It started out as a steampunk technothriller and has since evolved to a combination of steampunk and magepunk and technothriller with a bit of supernatural in the trunk.
I have a story to plug! It only has two chapters, but I would appreciate some feedback before I continue with it. A friend of mine told me that I should write it in first person, but I'm not entirely sure yet, so I would like some advice.
There it is! Please leave reviews and constructive criticism. I would really appreciate it.4/14/2008 #15
Well, I wrote another part of my "Harvester" series, but it didn't get enough exposure for anybody to have the chance to tell me whether or not it's any good. Here it is:
I'd especially like to know if the story reads well, and how cliché it seems. Brutal honesty is welcome.4/19/2008 . Edited 4/19/2008 #16
I'll admit that i've never posted in a forum before and all i could find was reply, so i'm sorry if this looks weird.
Anyways, I've been dying for a reveiw that isn't froom my best friend, (not that i dont like it, i just want to know what other people think) For my story, Beond the Blue Sky5/22/2008 #17
And of course i forgot the link and made some typos...5/22/2008 #18
Ahoy there! I'd love to get some feedback on a story I've been working on for years but just recently been putting into words. One chapter up so far, so get into it early before it grows too much! It's titled: Number Blue6/6/2008 . Edited 6/6/2008 #19
I've always had this urge to write epics. Because of this, I've never finished one, getting bored and... wandering off.
Well, I had a change of heart, a story decided to write itself and if very subtle for a sci-fi. Take a look and tell me what you think...6/27/2008 #20
Shameless plugs? Heck yeah! I'd like some honest criticism on "Mechanical Resonance". Here's a short excerpt:
Something snapped, a mechanical twang that echoed around the room. Al stopped and shakily looked at his hand. It hung loosely from the end of his wrist, its plate steel fingers cracked and broken. A dull throb pulsed in his shoulder, pain that persisted in his arm even though the real thing had long since been lost. He inadvertently looked back at the camera and sat down on the ledge, defeated, the camera watching him with the diligent patience given only to machines.
By all means, pick it apart until there's nothing left and tell me what's up: what can be better, what's really bad, if anything's worded weird. I'd appreciate it to no end.6/27/2008 #21
Hi there - I'm new to FictionPress, although I've been on FanFiction dot net for a while. Anyway, I have my first story up here and I'd really like some traffic to it.
It's a "mech" story - but not with the usual distant planet / Japanese theme. It's set in an alternate future Europe. The setting is kind of a combination of a futuristic version of the Roman Empire, the Crusades, the legends of King Arthur and so forth.
In terms of inspiration, it draws a lot from Robert Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" - not in terms of the plot or setting or political views, but rather in the fact that it's told from a first person perspective and makes the assumption that you know the history of the world (although it does tell you what you need to know!) The story is a romance (or, will be, as I write more of it!) and could accurately be described as a tale of knights and ladies, only set in a future world where there aren't horses and armor - there are 'mechs!
All reviews very gratefully received, and will be "paid" for with a review in kind!
Thanks awfully!8/16/2008 #22
My friend told me about this site and I thought it was a good idea to post my first chapter of this story here. So you can search the story by it's title which is Man of Victory. And I'll summarize what the story is about:
Radiation can be emitted from many things. No one ever thought that it would spread from something like this. The main character of the story suffers something so painful, and as the story unfolds he shows us how he fought to keep his nation free.8/20/2008 . Edited 8/20/2008 #23
Hi, I just joined this site and posted the I have so far of the first story I've actually taken the time to type up (as well as proofread, edit, etc). I've been coming up with in depth stories (mostly sci-fi) for as long as I remember, though the few I can recall from my younger years were, predictably, childish. I'd like to think that my style has matured a bit by the point that I'm now 26 and have been reading sci-fi novels (and fantasy and military fiction) avidly since my mom literally threw a 300 odd page Star Trek novel at me (more like tossed it to me, but I like dramatic wording) when I was in fourth grade and told me that it was to amuse myself while waiting for hours in between my matches at youth wrestling tournaments instead of bugging her for money for candy bars from the concession stands. I only wrestled for three years, but my enthusiasm for reading expanded into various forms of sci-fi and other areas mentioned already.
While I do enjoy more "artistic" writing (I'm a bit over halfway through the Sword of Truth series and waiting for the final book of The Wheel of Time and The Lord of the Rings does occupy a section of my bookshelf) I usually prefer well written but deliberately over the top and even somewhat corny action/adventure sci-fi with good character design to give proper motivation for afformentioned action; you have to have a stake in the fight to appreciate it, after all. So that's pretty much what I'm going for. I'm also a sucker for romantic moments (in the classical, litererary sense, not pertaining to books with Fabio on the cover), and as such there is one bit so far in there that might be considered sappy; I was going for sappy when I wrote it, but in an artistic manner (I hope I managed that last part, let me know if you think otherwise).
I submitted the first seven chapters earlier but I'm not sure how long the lag is on it actually showing up because it hasn't done so yet. As soon as I see it up I'll post a link, and I'd appreciate any and all constructive criticism, especially if what I've described my tastes as seems to be sort of your thing. Or if you just want to take the time to read it anyway. If you don't like it then let me know why anyways.
The title is "To the Core" and it takes place in the mid twenty-eighth century. At this point humans have colonized and developed a good deal of real estate within our arm of the galaxy. Multiple star nations have formed, though the Terran Federation remains the largest and most powerful. A few alien races have been encountered and interactions have ranged between friendly trade and coexistence and open war, often varying by which human nation is involved. The second most powerful human nation, the Orion Alliance, has recently began a period of prosperity and has decided to invest heavily into a long range exploratory expedition into distant the galactic core, where no human has yet gone (some have tried, but none have been heard from since). Because they have no idea what to expect, they hire on a team of ten mercenaries with special abilities that only a fraction of the human race possess; psychic talents. They have a reputation for being extremely good mercenaries, never having failed to deliver promised services for any contract, but they also have a reputation for leaving a good sized wake of mayhem, destruction, collateral damage, and general chaos behind them. The expedition's commanding admiral holds them on a very short leash (it's in their contract), but dreads having to set them loose. Even if they can be expected to achieve their objectives, it's hard to predict exactly how they'll go about doing so, and that's the scary part.
I'll post a link as soon as I get one...still figuring this site out.
Edit: Figured out why I couldn't find it before; had the k-t rating default. I put this as rated M because there is some coarse language and violence (nothing overly graphic on either count, but I figured better safe than sorry): http://www.fictionpress.com/s/25650018/28/2008 . Edited 8/28/2008 #24
Oh, yeah, when first reading this thread Crownbreaker's post caught my attention. I'm on chapter 6 of Archomachy currently...good reading during my periodic downtime at work. Just felt the need to point out some good work.8/28/2008 #25
I've got a story in the works (it's just a 3 thousand word toddler right now, but it's growing) called O'er the Ramparts We Watched, and I'd love some feedback on it. To be honest, I'm kind of taking suggestions on which facets of the story catch the reader's attention (if I should presume to say any do) so I can focus on those and downplay others. See, this is my first serious venture beyond the protective walls of fanfiction, and it's kinda scary out here. Anyway, here's a link. All I ask from reviewers is this: don't tell me "it's good" or "it sucks." tell me what's good or what sucks and why. And if you know a way it could be better, say so.9/11/2008 #26
Kat's new goal: Review at least one of these stories by next Saturday.
Kat's new story: "Freakshow," which is looking for a new and better title. Read it and tell me what you want me to name it!
LINK: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2579390/1/Freakshow Haha, I've been trying to figure out how to make this clickable. Turns out it's automatic. Kat is duuuuuuumb.
SUMMARY: After a high school girl suffers from a mysterious collapse during class, she waits to find out what was wrong with her. But while her friends and family try to help her through it, she learns something about herself that will change everything she's ever known... and possibly the world.
Suddenly she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach, the feeling she had loved so much when she was a little girl riding in an elevator. She closed her eyes and opened them again, and saw suddenly a river that wasn’t moving, with a few stones in the center, too far for her to reach, that had constantly shifting surfaces. She stared into the stones, trying to figure out why they moved and the river stood still, and the closer she looked, the more she realized that it was the water coming out of the fountain.
Krys let go of the knob, and the water stopped. She stared at the water fountain for a moment, confused, and then shook her head.
Suddenly the headache returned. Krys screamed, putting her hands uselessly up to her head, and fell to the ground.
She could have felt someone shaking her arm, but all she could feel was the pain.
She could have seen the terrified-looking freshman, but all she could see was the pain.
She could have heard Zane shouting for help, but all she could hear was the pain.
It was as if Krys was no longer a part of this world, but had been taken somewhere else, and she didn’t know if anything could ever break through.
What a relief.10/5/2008 #27
Shameless plug ahoy10/18/2008 #28
Hi everyone! Really glad to see this thread is still active and going strong!
Feedback time...How many of you who have posted links here have increased readership/reviewership? How many still have active links on here? (I've been disconnected from the world for Seven months and I've got a lot of catching up to do!) I know the link I first posted is no longer at all active...LOL! But you can go to my profile and check out my current listing of stories.
The first three in this book series are about the same dhampir, Cabal. He originated in a story called "After the Rain" By thebaavaproject (You can find her wonderful works in my favorites), but I liked him so much I gave him an entire history - the book got cumbersom (over 800 pages) and I decided to break them up into relative timelines and subplots. So here you go:
Book 1: Before the Fall
Cabal's mother is an ancient vampire, one who can trace her lineage back to the very first of their species. She survived the human's attempts to kill the vampire race with a virus - but that virus became the mode of transmission - and made fundamental changes to all the vampires who shared her fate. It's the reason Cabal was born. His father WAS human - chosen by his mother to be her "one," her lifemate. He took her immortality and then rejected her. And then she found out she was pregnant...with a b*** child she knew would be accepted by neither the human or the vampire societies. Stubbornly she chooses to keep him - and sacrafices her support system in the process...
Book 2: Redemption
Cabal has been wandering the post apocalyptic world for nearly 150 years with a burning quest to see his father dead. The Second drove his mother crazy, forced Cabal to kill her to save himself...and he knew he was going to pay the vampire back for it. His trails cold, has been for a century. When he gets a tip that a vampire brood rampaged through the town of Redemption, he makes sure to spend some time there trying to ferret out the truth. The townspeople are less than helpful - even when he knows they have a witness to the events and that the person is willing to talk. That's when he meets Lucinda...and his thoughts of continuing with his quest start to dim...
Book 3: Endgame
Cabal has been tracking Renate for almost five centuries and prospects are looking up to cath the man. As he draws nearer his quarry, he comes to the attention of an organization called Victor Sierra. They are interested in one of his talents, the Wanderer Garrett in particular, but they may not be aware of just what he is.
The Fourth book is about the Wanderer Garrett:
Book 4: Of Dhampirs and Warlocks...
Garrett had always been told by his mother that he was special. In his Coven he is one of the most powerful for his age. When the Ancient vampire Mierakat starts hunting his mother - forcing them to flee the Chicago Coven - he finds out just why. Mierakat was the vampire Catharina seduced in order to bring about a bargaining chip that would tip the scales of the vampire/witch war in the coven's favor - Garrett. That makes him not only a warlock - but a dhampir too...and turns Garrett's world on it's ear.
Book Five goes a whole different direction. Based in Italy and in a totally different Caste system:
Book 5: The Devil's Own
Dominic is a member of the elite Devil's Own, a cadre of dhampir all born for one purpose, to protect their father and lord of the vampire house - Damien. Secretly he wishes for something more than just guarding, he feels their training for battle is atrophying. Then he and three of his twelve brothers are chosen to escort a visiting vampiress and her dhampir business partner while they negotiate a business arrangement. Their presence sets events into motion that none of the Devil's Own had foreseen.
Please give any one of them a read...I will certainly return the review...Shamelese Plugs HOOOOO!!!10/26/2008 #29
I have a few:
The Infowar: As governments become more authoritarian and terrorists become more ruthless, an international network of technosubversives, intellectual activists, and true patriots fight corrupt politicians, organized crime, and terrorist groups with unconventional tactics. All the technology is real, and all the politics are stranger than fiction. A sequel, the Infoduel, is also up.
Tabernacle: The agents of an AI must track a posthuman serial killer across the galaxy as an ancient, unstoppable superweapon threatens their civilization.
The Father of Lights: The American Revolution becomes a total war between the nations embracing the philosophies of the Enlightenment and the dark magic of a magocratic British Empire.
Resonance of Ages: A group of college students explore the dark history of their campus for a school project. As they face evils both human and not, they find they must know the past to save the future.10/30/2008 #30
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