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Shakespeare and other stuff. The big kids club.
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I went with ashes.

Thank you everyone--I also tried to incorporate the magic thing, but it's only half a sentence -_-

Speaking of which, I finished the chapter--yet again a chapter behind what I expected...

This story moves fast yet slow at the same's weird o.O

Expect and update tonight! I'm just going to do my "read through it a few times, once aloud, and throw it out to the public to mutilate" update tactic :D

7/7/2010 #391


I created a new slang language.

I am calling it Vamp.

It is really lame, but I find it amusing.

That is all. :D

7/8/2010 #392

As much as I'd love to read it, I can't make myself concentrate at the moment :( excited about this new slang language though. How very Anthony Burgess of you!

7/8/2010 #393

That slang thing was fun. Reading once wondering "what do they mean", and thinking "it's not important anyway, what's important is what they're going to do", and then discovering at the end there was a glossary.

I had to go back and re-read the dialogs (and discovered I had missed the forny thing, I had thought the referenced lust was only spiritual ;)

7/10/2010 #394

That slang thing was fun. Reading once wondering "what do they mean", and thinking "it's not important anyway, what's important is what they're going to do", and then discovering at the end there was a glossary.

It went a little overboard. Originally, it wasn't anything, just like lame dialogue, then as I was editing, I checked out the Nadsat dictionary online, and go really excited about making a lame slang that used german instead of russian, and then I decided since I know basic german, that I could at least insert some cool stuff for the colors, XD

The rest was just spur of the moment...I like it a lot better than I thought I would though, when it was done. Makes me want to have the vampires around more. XD

And my authors note is in Nadsat, so I didn't make that one up--those are real. Hahaha

7/10/2010 #395

Instead of writing, I looked over my half-arsed attempt at writing a novel. And I actually enjoyed it. But editing seems like this giant, unachievable task! Do you guys have any experince with editing on this kind of scale? How do you not go crazy and delete everything?

7/10/2010 #396

Instead of writing, I looked over my half-arsed attempt at writing a novel. And I actually enjoyed it. But editing seems like this giant, unachievable task! Do you guys have any experince with editing on this kind of scale? How do you not go crazy and delete everything?

The only time I did a really big mass edit, I actually printed off the entire manuscript, sat down, and read it page by page. I would allot like, 5-10 pages per night, say--or more, if you felt like it. And then I'd just go through with a pen and mention to add things in, do more research somewhere, or usual editing sorts of stuff.

It's been about three years since I've done a major edit like that. With VATR I just started writing the same story from scratch that I already knew by heart--just sort of a...better version of it, XD...heh, but still with the unnecessary ramblings.

Still, I remember back in the day when I did that edit! MAKE SURE TO SAVE THE EDITS YOU MAKE IN MORE THAN ONE FILE.

Shortly after putting all of those edits in the computer and getting ready to send the manuscript off to publishers--I lost the entire file. And I have never gone back to the story and edited since. *shudders at bad memories* :D

7/11/2010 #397

Help! I think FP is messing with me again. I uploaded my chapter edits about... maybe a week ago now, and people are pointing out things I've already gotten rid of or have edited. When I look at my story the edits that I've made are there. However, it appears that other people aren't seeing them. WTF?!?!? Anyway, can someone head over to Chapter 2: The Second Betrayal of Shadows, and tell me if the first sentence has the word "swiftly" at the end of it, svp? (This is only one of the many edits I've made, but I don't want to go through everything right now and ask people to check them).

This is really bugging me because over the past couple of weeks people have been pointing out things that I've already fixed, but I just thought I had forgotten to upload the edited version. Now I'm wondering if FP hates me again (we had a serious spat at the beginning of my rebirth).

Anyway, that's all the angst I have for today. XD

7/11/2010 #398
Stylistic Nightmare

It does not. "A man riding a black horse raced along a muddy path."

7/11/2010 #399

Okay, good. I don't know why that was a recent edit in a review then. =/

Oh well, all that matters is my edits had uploaded properly.

Thank you!

7/11/2010 #400

I'm sorry. I just had to do it.

FTV, baby.

(That's not a typo, I just made up For The Virgin because I'm clever like that, or something...)

7/11/2010 #401

Thanks Emily, for the advice :)

7/11/2010 #402

Hey guy. I had an idea for an upload. It's more of an essay piece/collection, than anything else, but I'm wondering if it'd be a good idea to even try it. I've becoming increasingly pissy about various aspects of writing and reviewing, and I wanted to take the energy and pump it into some well thought out pieces. I'd be covering things like reviewing courtesies, review policies, characterization, getting information to the readers in non-obvious ways, telling backstory, flashbacks, and pretty much anything else that pops into my head.

Is this a good idea? Would anyone even read it, or should I just keep my pissy opinions to myself? I'd be nice to get reviews on it and have other people weigh in about it, but that wouldn't be the main goal. In truth, I kind of just want to do it because a lot of things have been rubbing me the wrong way lately and I wanted a place to sort out those thoughts. It shouldn't be viewed as a therapy piece or anything. I just think it'd be neat to write about these things and have people understand why I'm such a biatch at times.


7/14/2010 #403
Stylistic Nightmare

I think you should do it. I know I was just talking in The Pit about how I don't review, but a lot of people do. Maybe they could learn a thing or two from your work about both writing and reviewing properly. It's one thing to get a review telling you what you're doing wrong, but it's a whole different level when there are whole pieces on here informing you of how to properly convey certain aspects of your writing. Don't get me wrong; a review that tells you what you're doing wrong and offers some suggestions on how to improve is good, but a much broader piece that can be applied to more than one specific scenario would definitely be useful to many authors.

7/14/2010 #404

Excellent. I'm very excited about this, actually. Gives me one more reason not to write the next chapter for Shadows. XD I was also actually thinking about turning Conference with the Fiends into a multi-chap story. There's a lot that I'd like to explore with Little D's character, but I'm not sure if I want to tackle that one yet. I still need to work on Six (Thousand) Feet Under.

7/14/2010 #405

Go Li! sounds awesome

7/15/2010 #406


7/15/2010 #407


I just spent the last hour writing a spin-off of INSIWB, about a girl in a floral shop oogling at Jude for like, 1000 words.

I love the last line so much that I want to post it on FP. But--but c'mon, right? That's dumb.

XD It reveals a lot about witch culture I haven't revealed yet. So. SO UGH. It would be best to just wait right? Wait until at least I finish or at least I get to the point where it won't stick out and say more than the actual story itself does?

Yes? Someone assure me. XD

7/17/2010 #408
Stylistic Nightmare

Yes, it would be best to wait. If it is going to give away too much, it's best to just keep it off Fictionpress for now.

7/17/2010 . Edited 7/17/2010 #409

I'd love to check that out, but I'd still say wait. :)

7/17/2010 #410

These essay-like pieces are difficult to write. I really don't even know where to start. I've just been jotting down thoughts about writing and reviewing, but nothing solid has been coming to mind yet. I think I'll just begin with explaining my review policy (since that's a general topic I wanted to touch upon, as well). What do you guys think? Any thoughts or suggestions as to how to format this or specific topics of interest you think might be neat to read about?

7/18/2010 #411

Write an amusing narrative about it, from the point of view of a character?

Or just stick to essay format, structure out your thoughts and go from there.

7/18/2010 #412
Stylistic Nightmare

I think you should just start of each topic by explaining what you'll be doing, and maybe why. Kind of a "In this piece, I'll be writing about ...... because I have noticed that a lot of author tend to ..... which is incorrect" type of thing. Then readers would be able to see not only what the piece is about, but also maybe something they've been doing wrong. It would give them a reason to read on. As to the rest, after your topic is introduced, just go straight up essay style for the rest of it. Something like this isn't done for reviews, I'd imagine, so you don't have to worry a huge amount about style mistakes or things like that. It's meant for education mostly, not entertainment.

7/18/2010 . Edited 7/18/2010 #413

@Xen – An amusing narrative format would be neat, but then I'd be stressing about tone and whatnot. It's a really good idea, though.

@ JR – I like that. First sentence will explain straight-up what the "chapter" is about, then perhaps I'll do the whole "three sentences" that explain the "three main paragraphs" (that is, if there will be only three paragraphs). So five paragraphs total. Opening, three body (three topics) and then wrap it back up again. Hmm. (This is me thinking back to high school and what I learned about essay writing. Sorry).

Thanks guys! :D

(I just realized how much of a suck I am for these "help me" threads. I'm always on them. =/)

7/18/2010 #414
Stylistic Nightmare

I have a question. In the case of reptiles, what would be the proper word to use when talking about something they've used their tongue to identify; an odour or a taste. I'm currently at a point where one of my characters, one with reptilian characteristics, is being pursued and he uses his tongue to "taste" the air. He recognizes the things that are after him, but I'm not sure how to say it properly. Would it be: ".... he recognized the distinctive odour coming from ...." or ".... he recognized the distinctive taste coming from ...."

Taste just doesn't sound right to me, but odour doesn't really fit either. Any suggestions?

7/21/2010 #415

From a strictly scientific point of view, the tongue is reptile's sense of smell. So it would be an odour. (and actually, what most people call taste is smell, taste is a very basic sense, as can be told by people who lose their sense of smell and suddenly find food uninteresting)

Now, this is a story you're writing so... Do you want to go for scientific accuracy or for the link between taste and tongue? How would your character be thinking about this sense?

7/21/2010 #416
Stylistic Nightmare

I suppose he would be seeing it as a sense of smell. As a reptile, his nostils would be essentially useless, so his tongue would be his only olfactory organ. At this point however my problem is less with the actual link between a reptiles tongue and smelling, and more with just how it comes across. The actual involved sentences I wrote are as follows:

Once the followers were close enough, he allowed his narrow forked tongue to flicker out of his mouth and taste the surrounding air. Immediately, he recognized the distinctive odour emanating from the stalkers.

My main problem with it is when talking about the tongue, the word "odour" just isn't something that fits in my mind. "Taste" doesn't fit any better because I immediately imagine him literally tasting something, which conveys physical contact. Odour is probably my best bet though, in context.

7/21/2010 #417

What about replacing "odour" with "scent"?

7/21/2010 #418
Stylistic Nightmare

I think that still has the same problems as odour. It seems that any word that I can think of that has the same/similiar meaning as "odour" or "taste" just doesn't sound right. I think I'll probably end up going with "odour" or "scent" or some synonym of that in the end. With the mention of a "narrow forked tongue" and "tasting the air" I would hope that most readers would be able to draw the comparison to a snake/reptile and realize what I mean.

7/21/2010 #419

Or, here we have some other options from the Concept Thesaurus.

-nouns odor, smell, odorament, scent, effluvium; emanation, exhalation; fume, essence, trail, nidor, redolence., sense of smell; scent; act of smelling; olfaction, olfactories.

-verbs have an odor; smell, smell of, smell strong of; exhale; give out a smell; scent., smell, scent; snuff, snuff up; sniff, nose, inhale.

-adjectives odorant, odorous, odoriferous; smelling, strong-scented; redolent, graveolent, nidorous, pungent., [Relating to the sense of smell] olfactory, quick-scented.

Regular thesaurus

air, aroma, bouquet, effluvium, efflux, emanation, essence, exhalation, flavor, fragrance, musk, perfume, pungence, pungency, redolence, smell, snuff, stench, stink, tang, tincture, trail, whiff

7/21/2010 #420
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