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lookingwest

Oooh it's like Sookie in True Blood after the vampire fiasco at Bill's place (omg I should really get a life one of these days) and she tries to stay away from him? Yeah, I dunno, up to you!

Oh, I never thought of it that, way...yeah, there's always that "this guy's tooo freaky for me" scene in almost every vampire fiction...so I just have to maybe even add a balance between Sookie and even Bella. I have to admit, Bella saying she wasn't afraid of Edward was kind of okay, but in the same respect, stupid....I need to seek out that balance now. Once I find the balance for Penny, a balance I've never had to tackle before, I'll be able to work through the kissing muck much better.

FYI Xen, JUST watched TruBlood season 1, first two episodes, tonight with my roommate, XD

1/20/2010 #151
xenolith

FYI Xen, JUST watched TruBlood season 1, first two episodes, tonight with my roommate, XD

yuhhss. I want a Fangtasia shirt so bad...

1/22/2010 #152
taerkitty

Okay, I'm at a bit of an impasse with Foster's Gambit, Chapter 14. Yes, Chapter 10's the most recent one posted. I just write a bit in advance. Anyhow, Chapter 13 has Foster telling Brynn "It's a long story," when asked about him and his work. To which Brynn replies, "We have time," because they're on an interstate bus for the next 20 hours.

Rather than tell the dead ends I've run up against and 'making paths' in other minds along the same dead ends, I'll just ask an open question: How would you start Chapter 14?

1/23/2010 #153
sophiesix

well, kinda makes it hard without knowing the backstory. also how much does Brynn already know, about demons and stuff? not much? you don't want to have to explain all that again to the reader too. as i see it, you have two main stylistic devices available: flashback and conversation retelling, with brynn asking questions and having verbal reactions and stuff. depends on what and how much he's goinig to tell, and if its the sort of thing that is helped by conversation or not. personally, i'm not keen on a really long retelling, so if it can mainly be done in a single scene i'd do it more flashback style, because you can get better descriptors in. on teh oher hand, foster has a great 'voice', but i think you can use that either way. If it's longer than a scene or two, or you need Foster to tell rather than flashback, and i'd engineer an interruption so its not too much at once. teh bus breaks down. or a pteradactyl lands on it. or else, he gets to the good bit and its too much and he refuses to go on. or Brynn falls asleep ;)

any help? i suppose they're your dead ends already? XD

1/23/2010 #154
taerkitty

Well, the two big questions are:

1. After the conversation, what does Brynn know? I don't want to have Foster narrate everything to Brynn. It's too long a "long retelling" as you say.

2. After the conversation, what does the reader learn that's new? Nothing. I want the reader to 'earn' the background as they go. What happened to Madison is mostly known, but there are still details I want to hold back for later. Brynn has a lot of stuff later, as well.

===

So chapter 14 will open with Foster having told Brynn -something-. The questions would then be:

A. What did he tell her? (I need to know this to keep straight what Brynn knows, even if all I say to the reader is "Okay, Foster's done with Career Day.")

B. Why did they stop? Brynn has been through hell, but she may still revert back to the "ask-questions-until-you-want-to-throttle-her" sort of kid. She could stop because she's distracted. She could stop because the conversation drops us into some key point (thus allowing the reader to 'earn' some background.)

So it's okay for the conversation to reveal some new stuff, but I don't want it to just 'fall out of their mouths," i.e., "Yeah, I got into this job because I met Angelo in a bar and ..." That's just too flat and plain.

C. Where / when are they? I'd rather not have them pull up to St. Louis right then-and-there. Actually, I do have a phone call for Foster to take, but I'd rather start the chapter with some 'Foster-ism,' some little factoid about the world that's either different than ours, or is the same as in ours, but told in Foster's quirky and different tone.

===

Here are the approaches I've tried so far.

i. Brynn's satisfied and they talk about something else. Won't work - a ten-year-old is never satisfied.

ii. Foster stumbles into telling Brynn that, at Oklahoma City, he meets Dale and Brynn has to go. It goes too emo.

iii. Brynn falls asleep. I'm leaning that way right now. Just looking for a good opening, a good Foster-ism.

1/23/2010 #155
sophiesix

lol, well, you're the resident expert on Fosterisms. i'd vote against opening with them having had a 'secret' conversation thats all donw now. i'd feel cheated and left out. he could make some wittty comment on how childrens curiousity is endless until you ddistract them with candy, or something, tehn find it doesn't work on runn. or a new appreciation for how uncomfortable teh bus seats are when you've just been beaten up by a demon. or a smalchy one about last time je rode a bus he was with/ wasn't with Madison...?

1/23/2010 #156
taerkitty

Okay, end of chapter 13:

"But why?"

Oh, boy. Where to start? How much to tell? And, when do I get to sleep? "Brynn? That's a really long story, Princess."

"How long is this trip? Twenty hours, right?" She sees my nod, and continues, "See? We have time. Lots of time."

And I'm going to need every minute of it.

And the start of 14:

It always amazes me how tough a young mind is. I guess, after all she's been through, my little revelations aren't that hard to swallow. It's like of like a Tylenol after Castor Oil - the taste buds are already shell-shocked, so what's a little bit more?

Brynn's sleeping, head on my shoulder. This means I can't move, and the bathroom door is mocking me. The last bozo didn't latch it, so each bump means it rattles like some ghost of rest stops past. And my damn bladder isn't exactly empty.

That looks good enough for me.

1/24/2010 . Edited 1/24/2010 #157
sophiesix

Well, its smooth, and it works, but i'll still feel a bit gypped. Brynn's one up on me now, and she's just a little kid. :pouts: but its well handled, so i'd get over it quick. ;)

1/24/2010 #158
taerkitty

Look at it this way: would you want to have gone through what she did to 'earn' that knowledge? *shudder*

1/24/2010 #159
sophiesix

well, true. you got me there.

1/24/2010 #160
taerkitty

I'm slowly plodding my way through Foster's 15. I have seeds, I have goals, I just don't have time or motivation...

2/1/2010 #161
xenolith

I have nothing to say. I just wanted to dominate the place again, mwuahaha. This is technically spam. I should ban myself... oh I do have something to say!

I have seeds, I have goals, I just don't have time or motivation...

True dat, kitty. It's the motivation thing for me.

2/5/2010 #162
Anise Cary

finished my first ever oneshot Karaoke Night, I've always been convinced my stuff has to be really long. yeah finally accepted sometimes that's just not how it goes. YAY, now back to work on other stuff.

2/5/2010 #163
lookingwest

I love the feeling of completion :D

2/5/2010 #164
Anise Cary

oh yeah, not one I get very often since I always have tried to write long stuff. I might get addicted to writing shorter stories and one shots now just for that feeling LOL

2/5/2010 #165
taerkitty

I try to keep a chapter of Foster's in reserve, so if anyone wants to beta it or just read it for fun, just say so.

I'm in so much review debt, though...

2/5/2010 #166
Anise Cary

oh hey tell me what you want out of beta-ing a chapter and I'd love to read it, if for no other reason than to get first glimpse at it ;) I need to do some more reviews too, soon, I'll find time for that soon.

2/5/2010 #167
Indestructible13

ive sufficiently slacked off from writing. beating ME2 3 times is enough i think...

That and insanity level is damn near impossible

2/7/2010 #168
008

I've slacked off as well. I was on a roll for a few days straight but I ended up trashing or not finishing what I worked on.

Lucky you. My xbox red ringed and my genius friend decided to "fix" it by taking it apart and destroying my sanity.

2/7/2010 #169
lookingwest

Lucky you. My xbox red ringed and my genius friend decided to "fix" it by taking it apart and destroying my sanity.

D:

2/8/2010 #170
taerkitty

I finally answered my question for Foster's Gambit, so I'm unblocked, at least so far as the 'what to write' question. Now, if only I could find the time and energy.

Really, asking me what I'm working on is kinda redundant. It's Foster's, because I've left too many other orphan stories (with their attendant disappointed readers) already, and my high-school action/thriller story will have to wait.

As for reviews, I have no time. My job really sucks the soul out of me. However, that means my socializing is cut down, and the number of reads is also down. Oh, well, time to see if I'm truly writing for me, or I'm writing for ego-buffing.

2/8/2010 #171
lookingwest

Oh, well, time to see if I'm truly writing for me, or I'm writing for ego-buffing.

I've often wondered that, though I try not to force myself to write too often, which is probably why my own story updates have been so slow, and don't even get me started on VATR. I tried writing on that the other day and ended up deleting everything. I'm super picky with that story :/

At least' you've got motivation for Foster's, which is nice...I hope to see some more of it down the road, but really, I'd be willing to switch over to any story you've written because I know it will be written well, haha

2/8/2010 #172
taerkitty

Thank you! At this rate, I'm going to look like an SD (anime Super Deformed) kitty.

Ex: http (colon) //www (dot) amazon (dot) com/CoCo-Kitty-Gaia-Plushie-Plush/dp/B001O4PX3K/

2/8/2010 . Edited 2/8/2010 #173
Anise Cary

so does rolling ideas around in your head count as working something? :) I've been thinking alot about a summary I'm adopting from the GF summary thread, plenty ideas of what I want in characters and plots but stuck on how it's going to be formatted, I guess I at least need to get the ideas I have on paper, maybe from there something will come. I've had the last chapter of Life Changes sitting minimized on my desktop for a few days and haven't touched it, though I'd really like to finish it, every time I maximize it I just stare at the screen. ah well such is life

2/8/2010 #174
lookingwest

o does rolling ideas around in your head count as working something? :)

Only half of the time for me, haha, as I tend to daydream about my stories a lot, especially in boring classes/when I'm driving on semi-long errands, but half the time I never write what I daydream, haha.

2/8/2010 #175
lookingwest

What would be believably scooped up if you were having to go up aganist a vampire and you were in an alley?

I just need something that could be used as a pointy weapon, perhaps somewhat stake-like--that would be ideal. But obviously it needs to be realistic.

I've got a trashcan lid so far...XD

2/11/2010 #176
lookingwest

Oh! Wait! Discarded shitty umbrella? Bingo! ? or not believable ? XD

2/11/2010 #177
Indestructible13

depends on the competency of the wielder really.

shard of class, broken bottle, piece of cinderblock, pipe...

removing the vampires head/destroying the brain has always worked as well, thats not only an anti-zombie measure. in that case, pipe, brick, 2x4.

fire usually works too

2/11/2010 #178
lookingwest

I'm more so using it as a "threatening" tool. So like, "Don't come any closer or I'll....[insert cliche]"

So...it might be smarter to go with the broken bottle. OR. She could try breaking it over his head....hmmm....

2/11/2010 #179
sophiesix

broken bottle, pipe, and shard of wood were my first thoughts, but i like that fire idea: a mouthful of gin and a cigarette lighter, or a teh dregs of a hairspray bottle... hmm, that sounds kinda eighties. an umberella could work, it has great comic value at least XD

2/11/2010 #180
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