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Indestructible13

This isn't really my looking for a review insomuch as just an opinion. I've been looking over FC and am wondering if it would be appropriate to re-label it as 'T' instead of 'M'

There is some strong language and blood, but I'm not entirely sure one way or the other. soph, em, you two are my biggest readers, you two have an opinion on this?

4/9/2010 #31
lookingwest

Go down to 'T'

I didn't even notice it was 'M', XD

Since there's no steamy hot detailed sex scenes I'll say the Teens can handle the language and gore.

'T' will get you on the public default list of new stories/updated stories too, for its respective genre, and that gives it more publicity. :D

4/9/2010 #32
Indestructible13

heh, yeah its the publicity that i was thinking about.

Well, that and the fact that none of the violence is all that gory (well, with the exception of the dragon bursting at the seams, but i won't go there)

4/9/2010 #33
sophiesix

I say go T unless somone complains. people have different ideas of what is appropriate for teens. I reckon teens swear more than any other group of society, and yet such swearing is supposed to give you an M, that seems odd to me (Fishbowl had two people disagree with its T status based on swearing, so i changed it to M). Animal gore is different to human gore factor, sadly it does not seem to count equally. Its not like he was tortured to death though. So yeah, i'd go T.

Another thing to consider is the group its in. First Drawn hardly had any readers at all until I switched it from Fantasy to Young Adult. nyeh.

4/9/2010 #34
Indestructible13

yeah, well you can get away with having FD in young adult because its in a near-RL setting. I don't have that liberty though : \

4/9/2010 #35
sophiesix

huh, good point. its still a story about young adults though?

4/9/2010 #36
Indestructible13

True.

4/9/2010 #37
Jealous Rage

Emily, if you have some spare time would you be able to look over my re-write of the first chapter of "South Of Heaven"? Just let me know if you can and I'll email it to you.

4/17/2010 #38
lookingwest

Yes...I will do my very best to get to it today (Sunday) if you send it today. I've got a test and an essay I need to focus on though, so it might come a little later in the night -_- Still, I will do my best! :D

4/18/2010 #39
Jealous Rage

Well, I have to put some finishing touches on it, so I'll send it later today. If you can't get it done today, thats cool; I'm not in any particular hurry.

4/18/2010 #40
Jealous Rage

I emailed it to you Emily; just get to it whenever you have time. Like I said, I'm in no hurry.

4/18/2010 #41
lookingwest

I got it and I'm working on it! At this point I don't think I'm going to get it completed by tonight, but I assure you it will be in no later than tomorrow night.

Zombies vs. Humans took up the better part of my Sunday, haha, those damn zombies... -_-

4/18/2010 #42
Jealous Rage

Could somebody do me a favour and look over the beginning of the second chapter of "South Of Heaven" for me? It's not much; only a little less than two pages, but I want to hear somebody else's opinion on whether or not it's a good start for the second chapter.

4/21/2010 #43
xenolith

I'm free?

4/21/2010 #44
Jealous Rage

Cool; should I email it to you then?

4/21/2010 #45
xenolith

Yep, hotmail.

daisy_88 @ ecetera ecetera

4/21/2010 #46
Jealous Rage

Thanks Xen; appreciate the feedback.

4/21/2010 #47
xenolith

Sweet as! I look forward to reading the rest of it.

4/21/2010 #48
Jealous Rage

Emily, when you get some time, do you wanna look over the next chapter of "South Of Heaven"? If you do, just let me know and I'll email it to you.

4/23/2010 #49
lookingwest

Yeah, sure--sorry for the late reply, XD, I'll look for it in my inbox!

4/25/2010 #50
Jealous Rage

Thanks Emily; I appreciate the feedback. I want to address some of your comments, but I'm gonna do that in a PM, as I don't want to give away any plot points to the public yet haha.

4/26/2010 #51
lookingwest

That sounds fine, XD, hopefully some of my comments made sense--I read and wrote that up during my own creative writing course, XD, it was soo boring and I was like, "I have some critiquing to do anyway" so yeah...but looking forward to the reply!

4/26/2010 #52
lookingwest

*crawls from insane depth of Jude's POV*

Heeelllp. Meeeee.

Someone. I need a beta read for this chapter. This...thing. I don't even know what it is. It's not even a full chapter. It's just insane ramblings. You have no idea how garbled and terrible this garbage is. I fear that no reader on earth will be able to decipher what's happening in the plot. O_O'' I PROMISED A CHAPTER BY THE 15TH! *GASP*

To whoever is brave enough:

I will send you two possibilities of a way to go with this chapter. One is easy and understandable and makes sense.

The other is not even finished and is just at the moment, garbled nonsense. Or so it appears to me.

You, brave one, will choose which way you'd like it to go. SO. I've got some options. I'd prefer someone who has read up to the current Ch. 10 of INSIWB.

Tell me a) if the clear senseable one matches how you think Jude would act and sound in his POV or, b) if the non-sense route could be salvaged to make more sense with coherent actual narration of what's happening.

I will be forever in your debt! *is pulled back into depths*

5/13/2010 #53
sophiesix

I've got some spare time this morning Em, if you want to send it over?

5/14/2010 #54
lookingwest

Ah, I probably missed you in your morning!

I've got a little bit of a problem. It's 10:00PM my time, I work early this next morning, and I'm also moving into a new apartment tomorrow too--I'll most likely be without Internet for at the tops, the next three days -_-

So goes my chapter update. Right now I feel it's useless since I wasn't able to get to you in time. I'm thinking what I'm going to do is wait out these next few days Internet-distraction-free, and see if I can pull some sense into the chapter...if I can, I should have it all figured out by the time I have the Internet again.

If this doesn't work, then I will still need help :D

So on hold. For the moment. :D:D

5/14/2010 #55
xenolith

RAAAWWWRRRR!!!! I has dominated.

Have fun with the move, Emily. Always exciting :D And like, the chapter editing and what not!

5/15/2010 #56
sophiesix

no worries chicky. i'll have some time next week too.

and TAKE THAT domination Foiled

5/15/2010 #57
xenolith

Why. Why would you do that to meee?

*cries*

Okay I'm over it.

REDOMINATED, whaaaaat!

5/15/2010 #58
xenolith

Oh, spam :)

5/15/2010 #59
lookingwest

Okie dokie.

Here I am--with next chapter of INSIWB completed!

And I decided to go the cuckoo route, so it's in desperate need of a first-read through from someone else--again, preferably someone who has read up to Ch. 10.

You don't have to do a huge editing sentence by sentence thing for grammar or spelling, I'm more so just going to ask you some really specific questions about the chapter to see if you can understand what's happening--and if not, where you think I could elaborate to make it more clear.

Or maybe it's just too insane and I should start over, XD

Any takers this time--are you still free Sophie? :D

5/20/2010 #60
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