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Just wrote up my questions--there's about six of them. But they're pretty detailed. So again, anyone with some free time, I would forever be in debt to you.

5/20/2010 #61

Any takers this time?

*raises hand*

I'll give it a shot - so long as you're not looking for a grammar check :P

5/21/2010 #62

Okay, cool! So can I send this via e-mail or do you want to make one of those linky things--that didn't work for me last time but I can give it another shot...

5/21/2010 #63
Stylistic Nightmare

When one of you has some free time, would you mind reading over a new story I've been working on. It's a Supernatural/Fantasy story, much in the same vein as "South Of Heaven", though the part I want read over doesn't actually involve anything other than human, beyond perhaps some extremely vague hints. What I'm really looking for isn't so much critique of the scene (though any feeback is appreciated), but rather whether or not I've chosen to start the story in the appropriate place. To be honest, I've actually been working on two separate beginnings to the same story; the one I want read over is the one I'm happier with, but I'm just curious to see what other writers think of it. Anyways, if anyone is interested, just let me know in here and I'll email it to you. Thanks.

6/11/2010 #64

Hey Don, I'll take a look at it when I get a chance, maybe later this evening. Sorry no one has been in to help yet! My email is daisy_88 at :)

6/14/2010 #65
Stylistic Nightmare

Okay thanks Xen. I'll send it now. Uh, it's grown a bit since I posted so it's a bit more than just a beginning now. But I'm still interested in seeing if it works as a beginning or if I need to add something at the start. Keep in mind that it is pretty rough, and I will expand on some of the scenes after.

6/14/2010 #66

Cool as. I'll be back later to give it a read!

6/14/2010 #67
Stylistic Nightmare

Thanks for the feedback Xen, I appreciate it. In the other beginning I was writing, it starts with Dray in Santa Monica (thats where he is coming from) and goes on to expose the problem he's been having and why he needs to go find his brother. If I went with that beginning, it would have a lot more action at the beginning, but then I'd have to essentially explain everything twice; as it happens, and then again when Dray explains himself to his brother. I will definitely try to mix it up a bit, pick up the pace a bit between when Dray arrives in Philly and when he finds his brother. Once he meets up with Kane, and everything gets explained, I'll be able to add in some action and hopefully get the whole thing moving along faster; all of the main characters will get introduced and I can start really getting into the story. Anyways, thanks.

6/16/2010 #68

Hmm well whatever you think is right should turn out fine. You can always just edit out some of the explanation anyway, or leave it in and see how it works with readers. Best of luck with the continuation of the writing! Er... :p

6/16/2010 #69

I was supposed to sleep, but then I listened to this song, and now I have a short piece that I'd like someone to look over for me. I'm pretty excited about it as it is, but I'm worried it's too short. Too casual. Too... well, you tell me!

It's under 1k, if anyone could take a look I'd be much obliged XD

7/3/2010 #70

i can have a look see tomorrow if you'd like? i reckon i'm too blah tonight. can't read anyone's stuff at the moment because i just read this awesome story called 'the witching hour' by Xenolith? and so now everything i read is like - oh, give up already. ;)

7/3/2010 #71

haha thanks Sophie. Sorry I was out all day, but could you still take a look? Man, reading it this morning I was like... okay, so maybe it's not as great as I thought it was... lol

So, FP doc thing or just email?

7/3/2010 #72

no worries. i did a trial run bike to work. took me an hour on teh wy there and 2.5 hours on the. i got distracted. ok and a little bit lost :)

7/3/2010 #73

SENT! mwuahaha.

an hour bike ride to work? epic! I'd love riding my bike, but I always feel like people are judging me for being a greenie looser.

7/3/2010 #74


i'm too worried about crashing and traffic to worry what other people aer thinking of me ;) spent fifteen minutes at teh beginning figuring out why teh pedals wouldn't go round. turned out teh chain thingy was stuck on teh spiky wheel thingies. then half way there the brake line came loose and started rubbing on the tire, so i had to hold teh break on teh whole way so keep it out of teh way :) ah teh joys of bike riding...

7/3/2010 #75

Belated thanks, Sophie, for the feedback!

spent fifteen minutes at teh beginning figuring out why teh pedals wouldn't go round. turned out teh chain thingy was stuck on teh spiky wheel thingies.

O no, I hate that. But at least cycling is good excercize :)

7/4/2010 #76

anyone available to read what I have so far for my latest chapter of Avalon (Sidhe) I am having major writer's block, despite the fact that I keep telling him our relationship is over, he just wont leave me alone!

7/7/2010 #77

Let me read the first three chapters of Avalon (Sidhe) first (hopefully I'll get that done within the next few hours), and then I'll take a look at the latest one, if you're down.

7/7/2010 #78

That is so fantastic, thank you so much, just let me know whenever your ready and I'll send it to you. What's the best way to do that for you?

7/7/2010 #79

Email works for me if you're alright with that.

7/7/2010 #80

that's fine by me. I'll sort that out whenever your ready to go. Thanks again for the help

7/7/2010 #81

No worries. I'm gonna go grab lunch, read the first three chapters, and then I'll be back. I'll PM you my email now, though, just in case you're not on when I come back.

7/7/2010 #82

awesome, enjoy your lunch, I'll talk to you later. I've sent the email across to so it's there whenever you get time to check it.

7/7/2010 #83

Ugh, sorry I took so long. I've just reviewed the first three chapters and emailed the edits/friendly suggestions to you. Hope it was helpful. Let me know if you need help again; I'm really enjoying your piece.

7/7/2010 #84

Was very helpful and I will be taking you up on that offer

7/8/2010 #85

I'll be working on your next chapter tonight. Promise! :D

7/14/2010 #86

:) i will be looking forward to hearing your thoughts, although dont stress too much, whenever you can be bothered is fine by me :D

7/15/2010 #87

I broke my promise. Sorry. :(

I totally meant to but... I was tired. I promise to have it finished soon!!!

7/15/2010 #88

psh no sweat, i thought you meant this evening anyway lol. time difference meant i would have never realised

but seriously i'm in no hurry, i have a lot of other bits to finish off before i consider posting any time soon i think :)

7/15/2010 #89

Ratted myself out, then, huh? Ha-ha.

7/15/2010 #90
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