Devon Pitlor
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Devon Pitlor

It's turning out to be longer than I thought. I posted a very long Part Two today. There will need to be a Part Three to arrive at a conclusion.

Caution: Some parts are rather gory.

Good reading to all,


PS: On FP this will be Chapter Two of the existing story. Click at bottom.

2/14/2011 . Edited 2/14/2011 #1
Danielle Laurint

Devon, We finished the second part tonight when you weren't here. All around applause. You're bring back both Kemp and Trey into the forefront. That's good. Can't wait to see how you work the denouement out. Vast amount of details and people here. Skillfully done. A dynamic tale that pushes the reader forward. Episodes that are classics in themselves. Appreciated to the utmost with all of us.


2/15/2011 #2
Cheryl Adencher

Crackland--Crackland--Crackland!! I can't get the place out of my mind and it follows me everywhere all day long when I think about just how very, very good your stories are and how long you have been making them and how long you have been writing them and how much I have to learn from your style, plotting, atmosphere, dialogue writing, use of people, vocabulary, descripters, verbs, nouns, phrases of wonder, adverbs, use of drama, use of suspence, use of your freedom of imagination, your cunning plot-game, your knack of being in the right place agt the right time. I am so far behind you. I have so much to acquire from you. It blows out my mind sometimes. Crackland--land of magic and horror. Place I would not feel safe in at all, not even with Jared and Nikki at my side, not even with your tough (tuff) cowboy type from the first part where you intro'd him, Kemp Tanner, man of strength who is moving in like a storm in your stories and their outcomes.


I want to write a follow - up to the conclusion of this story but I don't know what it will be because you have not written the conclusion yet yourself and I don't know where to start before you finish what you have begun. I know I want to write a follow up with a character called Rubie Knox or Nocks who will bring a dog to Crackland and divorce her husband as soon as she sees the new king, and there should be one soon, and she (Rubie) will be a single mother like me and have all the troubles I have raising her son from her marriage which has failed and her dog which does not like Crackland at first at all because he is a schnauzer and they dont like to relocate to underground places. I want to call my farther story "Rubie Nocks in Crackland" where she meets Nikki, Brook, Trey, The Cowboy and Erick who enchanters her with his vapp because she is lonely and wants to live a lot longer but only Erick can do this for her when Jared and Brook are around if not Dragonsnort, who I LOVE more than my own charactors and want to put in a special story where he saves the life of a single mother lost in a whirlpool with no hope of getting out except by way of Dragonsnort.

Wonderful start you can give me with the conclusion to yours, which is my Q to go ahead.

2/15/2011 #3
Cheryl Adencher

Follow up to my comment now: There is just a "certain Devonness" to everything you write (my favorites!!!). There is just a Sense of Devon to all of your work. It just screams "Devon" from the highest rooftop if you know what I mean. It is like a wave of the ocean washing in a beautiful maiden which is not a maiden at all but a mermaid but a male one with shiny scales and the body of a lovely fish and gorgous flowing hair that just floats on the seagreen water like a seaplant of great charm. Do you see what I mean? All of your words just whisper Devon to the reader and a Devonness is everywhere when you write. It is beautiful and scary at times.

2/15/2011 #4
Cheryl Adencher

Devonness: (definition): A Sense of being and knowing you are Devon and exuding Deven out of your pours when you exhale; the state of speaking, writing, thinking, creating, encounterring, romancing, building, drawing, etc. like Devon at all times; a noun pertaning to Devon and the act of Being Devon from the start to the finish; a wonderful state of nature itself where you can be Devon at all times.

2/15/2011 #5
Devon Pitlor

Dani, thanks. We've talked already about this at work. Your endorsement is essential, as always.



2/15/2011 #6
Devon Pitlor


Lot of good, but strange ideas. Of course, I have "Devonness" for the reason that I am Devon. Write your ideas out in story form soon. I will support you. Of course.


2/15/2011 #7
Martin Drake

Devon, your writing just keeps getting better and better. This installment was excellent, and I can't wait to see how you tie things together in the conclusion. Don't be afraid to go to four parts if you think you need to!

2/15/2011 #8
Martin Drake

Cheryl, your comments are almost as entertaining as the story itself! If you ever do post some stories I am certain to be a reader.

2/15/2011 #9
Martin Drake

One thing I hope you will address in Part Three is the reason why Trey never got "infected" like the others. It makes sense that Eric didn't because of the vap, but what is special about Trey? Am I correct to assume he will have a prominent role in the final installment? I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

2/15/2011 #10
Devon Pitlor


Once again, here and in your great review, you have given me some questions which amount to directions the conclusion or semi-conclusion will need to take. The questions you ask are the essential ones, among other things, that I will need to address---and will.

As you might imagine, there is a lot to tie down here. I'm thrilled that you thought I did it well. I did get the same comment in person from others, but you state it so well. I really, really appreciate that. And I have a printed copy of your review by me to remind me of the nails that still need to be pounded down as I proceed. The finish may take a while. I always say that but then I write in bursts. I hope I can have a conclusion within two weeks.

Your assistance is beyond valuable!!

When will I get to do the same for you?

I need to keep encouraging you to get started.

Thanks for a good and insightful review---something I read and re-read!!


2/15/2011 . Edited 2/15/2011 #11
Martin Drake

I'm getting there.

2/16/2011 #12

Sorry for the choppy message. My hands are getting better but I still can't type very much. Wanted to check in somewhere here and say the second installment is even better than the first. Suppose someone has already said that. Too lazy and sore to check around. But this is really action-fired and bombshell stuff!! You've got it all here. I would pay for the end if I had to. Great job and thanks for thinking about me. I did appreciate that.

2/18/2011 . Edited 2/18/2011 #13
Devon Pitlor

Gary, thanks for the nice remarks and encouragement. Hope your hands are better. I'll be looking forward to your recovery and return!! Part Three, the conclusion, is coming along, but may take a week or more due to the time constraints of my job.

With appreciation,


2/21/2011 #14
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