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aka Providence
I find this list funny, and obviously, anyone who reads this needs to have an open mind and not act like an immature baby (it can be offensive, but that may be the point).

The home of the excact file: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/lemonlaws

Let's get it started! (technically, this list seems to apply more to a h*** dating sim IMO)

(apologies to anyone who finds this offensive; just ignore this topic then, kay?)

The Law of H*** and Lemons

(Note: these laws apply to lemons based on anime series and not original lemons, although much of the same laws still apply...)

3/4/2007 . Edited 3/4/2007 #1
aka Providence
1. If there are two characters who dislike each other, they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #2
aka Providence
2. If there are two characters who hate each other, they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #3
aka Providence
3. If there are two characters who, in a million years, would NEVER have sex, they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #4
aka Providence
4. If there are two characters who have repressed feelings for each other, they will suddenly realize the other loves them and then have sex.
3/4/2007 #5
aka Providence
5. If two characters are simply friends, they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #6
aka Providence
6. If one character is involved with another character, they will secretly want a third character, and will later have sex with that third character.
3/4/2007 #7
aka Providence
7. If there is a sexually repressed character anywhere in the series, they will observe or take part in a sexual act and immediately become a sex-starved individual.

a. If that character is a boy, he will have sex with the person he either hates the most ~OR~ secretly harbors feelings for.

b. If that character is a girl, she will become a sex-starved nymph and bang everyone in sight, unless she harbors feelings for another character, in which case she will simply become that character's personal sex toy.

3/4/2007 #8
aka Providence
8. If there is a boy who is m*** and he is caught by a girl, they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #9
aka Providence
9. If there is a girl who is m***, the boy will watch her and m*** as well. The girl will later catch him and he will admit to watching her, and they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #10
aka Providence
10. If the boy walks in on the girl m***, she will be very angry and throw him out, and later they will have sex ~OR~ the girl will be angry at first, then very turned-on and they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #11
aka Providence
11. If there are two girls who are just friends, they will have sex.
3/4/2007 #12
aka Providence
12. If there are two girls who are enemies, they will realize they love each other and have sex. This includes sudden realizations of love, one girl saving the other's life, or one girl consoling the other after the second girl realizes the male love of her life is cheating on her, marrying another, or tells her he doesn't like her.
3/4/2007 #13
aka Providence
13. Boy/boy sex will occur under similar instances as girl/girl sex, except boys don't need consoling if the girl they like is cheating on him, marrying another, or tells him she doesn't like him. Boys would rather hit something or get drunk when this happens (being drunk often leads to sex in all aspects of life, lemony or otherwise).
3/4/2007 #14
Sakka-Fenikkusu
My god, that's hilarious.
3/4/2007 #15
aka Providence
14. If there is a quiet, shy character in the series, she will follow a similar path as the sexually repressed character. However, if a boy is shy and quiet, he will have a large p***.
3/4/2007 #16
aka Providence
15. All boys will have a large p***.
3/4/2007 #17
aka Providence
16. All girls will have b*** that are larger than they first appear to be.
3/4/2007 #18
aka Providence
17. All girls will be virgins.

a. All girls who aren't virgins will have more experience than a Times Square hooker.

3/4/2007 #19
aka Providence
18. All girls who are virgins will think their male counterpart's p*** is "the biggest they've ever seen!" Since they're virgins, this is probably true. This, of course, still doesn't detract from how stupid it sounds.
3/4/2007 #20
aka Providence
19. All girls who are virgins will be experts at b***, and will have no trouble putting a boy's p*** in their mouth and swallowing their s***.

a. Girls who are virgin b*** experts who DON'T swallow will have the s*** shot onto their face, b***, and/or hair, and they will enjoy it.

3/4/2007 #21
aka Providence
20. Girls who are virgin b*** experts will always be able to deepthroat, regardless if their first partner is a human, dog, horse, or any other being with a large phallus.
3/4/2007 #22
aka Providence
21. Virgin girls will always give the boy a b*** before i*** as a way of lubricant, and will not give any mind to their natural vaginal liquids that should have been generated by foreplay.
3/4/2007 #23
aka Providence
22. The word "p***" will be used frequently.
3/4/2007 #24
aka Providence
23. The breaking of the h*** will never deter the female from completing i***, even though it will hurt like a b***.
3/4/2007 #25
aka Providence
24. Virgin boys will never prematurely e***.
3/4/2007 #26
aka Providence
25. Virgin boys will always e*** more s*** than is humanly possible.
3/4/2007 #27
aka Providence
26. The word "load" will be used frequently.
3/4/2007 #28
aka Providence
27. Virgin boys will always regain an e*** within the space of a few minutes. Less time is necessary if they're having sex with their true love.
3/4/2007 #29
aka Providence
28. No matter how big a p*** is, it will always fit.
3/4/2007 #30
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