For the better part of two years I've been writing a novel about a young male to female transsexual in college. She started the store 19 and pre-op, and is currently a 21yr old post-op. To my surprise she actually fell in love with a girl. The reason that surprises me is because as a boy, Mia had zero attraction to girls.
Over the course of the story she begins to develop feelings for one of her fellow cheerleaders. She's not attracted to her roommate, nor her best friend who are both women. Mia doesn't identify as a lesbian even though she's in a relationship with a girl. It's a source of great anguish for her, and made for some amazing scenes with her therapist. Due to the fact she's in a committed relationship with another girl, people would consider her a lesbian or trans-lesbian, even though she's not attracted to any other females.
I want to know what you all think about male to female transsexuals that date women. Because as Mia stated early in the story, "What's the point of becoming a girl if you're going to date one?" I suppose there's a bit of irony there.9/17/2010 #1
Wow. Pre-to-post-op in only two years? That's... really fast. Unless you only mean "top" surgery?
I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for, but here's my two cents worth. Generally people can only think in terms of a strict binary when referring to gender or sexuality. They think "This is a woman. She can either date men and be straight or date women and be a lesbian. (Or the opposite for men.)" But this isn't always the case as I'm sure you've already seen. Transsexual people have a somewhat unique perspective on the world. Most other people do not have to spend years questioning who they are, go through rigorous therapy and medical procedures, and come out who they were meant to be at the beginning. Most people are who they think they were always meant to be (in terms of gender).
Because of this somewhat unique perspective, some transsexuals may be able to look at sexual preference not as a binary but as a sliding scale. They may be able to take a step back from themselves and think "It doesn't matter who I am attracted to, gender is merely the outward presentation. The person inside--who they are--is what matters." Not all can do this, but some might. Some non-transsexuals have been able to do this as well. This can lead to a person who doesn't care whether they are attracted to males, females, transsexuals, one person, or no one at all.
I've actually read a book written by a FTM transsexual named Matt Kailey. It's "Just Add Hormones: An Insiders Guide to the Transsexual Experience." He was always attracted to men and didn't really fit the mold of the "typical" transsexual, but that's still what he was.
I can throw in a personal example as well: I was born female but identify as male. In terms of sexuality I am asexual but not aromantic. I am romantically attracted mostly to men, but a few women as well. In my experience gender presentation has had little to do with who I am attracted to. I am attracted to men more but that is because men tend to act in ways I find attractive or romantic.
That's just my experience. I don't know how Mia would react in your story because I don't know her character well enough. Any more information you want to throw at me?9/18/2010 #2
Sorry, I wasn't very clear in my description. She started was dressing female at 15 and started hormones at 16 (her parents made her wait a year to be absolutely sure) , had FFS at 20 and had SRS a little before her 21st birthday. The two years was when she started college at 19, and gets put on a 1 year SRS waiting list shortly after.
For a good chunk of the story, Mia deals with her former male self 'Anthony', in that she convinces herself that he was a homosexual because she considered herself heterosexual in her relationships with men. Her transition wasn't just a way to date men and not 'be gay'. I found her transition to occur naturally. She didn't play with barbies growing up, or hide and wear her sister's clothes, it was more of a manifestation that erupted around 14.
Back to my original topic, Mia has reached the 'sliding scale' point in her sexual preferences. I wanted to get opinions on how people perceive MTF transsexuals that date women. Some would say that defeats the purpose, of course that's only an 'on the surface' understanding. I appreciate your response Adenil, and I hope others will join in. When I first thought up Mia, I knew very little about transsexuals, there's still a lot that I'm learning, writing this has given me such great respect for all they go through.9/18/2010 #3
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