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Lesbians in love, such a misunderstood topic in modern culture. It's not just about the color pink, or magical kisses in the rain. It's about two people in love who happen to be women. If you're a writer of femslash or simply a reader, stop in.
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Firefly Burning

I need critique to help me improve my writing in my story, Model 0. It is a sci-fi, humor, romance story about a 17 year old schoolgirl, Mary, and the very unusual new girl in her class, who she calls 'Maude.' Before Mary realizes her feelings developing, her best friend, Frank, does. I need advice & critique, and in another topic 'man tone' is mentioned. I need to know if my story has man-tone in it.

8/4/2011 #1
Eskye

It's a quirky type of story, which makes it difficult to notice in the first place. But since it lacks in character description (not necessarily a bad thing) and length, it's impossible to tell if there is. Write a few more chapters to see, but I don't think you'll have to worry about it. It's not too big of a deal unless you're trying to write some deeply moving romance meant to empower women and all that jazz. Also, I'd like you to continue with this story. I have the feeling that it'll be pretty funny.

8/4/2011 #2
Firefly Burning

trying to write some deeply moving romance meant to empower women

No. Not really. XD There's enough 'empower women' stuff on this site already. LOL

character description

Most of the time, Maude does this, instead of me. I like my readers to imagine.

8/5/2011 #3
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