The Madhouse
Your sanity is an illusion. We control the horizontal. The vertical. Don't try to adjust your mindset.
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Annything

May 3rd, 2014

Excuse you, but it seems everyone has forgotten that a year ago from today BangBang has graced ourselves with his presence c:

Also I worked on a shitty video forever, forgot a lot of screenshots, used some twice, made it really shitty, but it's the thought that counts... I think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0apTg_0S7U

5/3/2014 #31
Annything

May 4th, 2014

We're now 4th place because some forums think cheating is cool and that the forums are a game and are demoralizing the idea behind my forum with my family who I posted daily with for well over a year now which accumulated family bonding, love, and post count. Just saying, they're whorefaces who--CV--you can't even deny and they have forever soiled 3rd place for Fictionpress forums.

So now be sure to lower your cursor an inch and a half more than usual to get to your family who--you can be assured to know--aren't cheating whorefacial disappointments.

5/3/2014 #32
Annything

July 5th, 2014

Val's 1 year Madhouse anniversary! She's all busy and shit so if you want to annoy her with your love you can go PM her today.

Hopefully she won't get too annoyed, lol.

7/5/2014 #33
Annything

July 17th, 2014

User ShatteredUniverse has his official first warning before being temporarily banned for one week. Rules broken:

1. RULE FIVE: Breaking the page

2. RULE PHI: Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is supposed to be a friendly, enjoyable, and respectful environment.

3. RULE FOUR: If a thread moderator judges a user to be guilty of posting spam (defined here as "repeated postings of irrelevant and/or inappropriate messages"), a warning will be issued to the perpetrator.

Please stop acting childish. Go take a nap or something.

7/17/2014 . Edited 7/17/2014 #34
Annything

July 17th, 2014

John has been bannished for a week because he loves feeding off the attention and finds satisfaction in disturbing the delicate ecosystem known as The Madhouse.

He is expected back on July 24th, 2014 and, before things go too far to get a misconception on John's part, no, you will never get the "satisfaction" of getting permabanned.

Once the bann is over you'll get annother chance.

Then if you fuck up more then I'll bann you for a day.

And then if you come back again acting childish you'll be banned annother day. And I'm going to give you infinite chances to calm down.

7/17/2014 . Edited 7/17/2014 #35
Annything

October 2nd, 2014

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE PROMENADE IS ABOUT TO RUN OUT!?!?!?

Yes, there is a post limit and that limit is 40,000 posts. We have reached above 38,500 posts so I made a vote here:

https://www.fictionpress.com/topic/6748/2860169/31/#5143257

FUN FACT: This is actually the first chat thread name that is voted upon. Pretty Much Whatever and The Promenade were already decided on day one. This was because no one knew what the post limit was and didn't think it would take nearly a year to have it lock. We are the first forum on FP and FF that filled up a thread enough to find the post limit to lock it.

YOU ONLY HAVE UNTIL POST 39,750!!!1!!!

Read the qualifications you need if you can even vote on this.

10/1/2014 . Edited 10/2/2014 #36
Annything

October 14th, 2014

Like a good mod of me I went and took care of a situation and wasn't lenient about it either! I was so extreme by banning them for one day (which is against the rules but whatever you don't have to read too much into that). I finally have used my modly powers for a

*gasp*

Purpose.

So, I'm The Mod Of The Year again for my dedication and hard work towards the delicate ecosystem that is The Madhouse. BANGBANG AND WINGS BE TRIPPIN' AND DON'T MATCH ME.

Annyhow, I just wanted to archive my bravery and great service in the battlefield.

P.S. you can ask me in the current chat thread for a link to the doc with the thing they said.

Have a happy Tuesday and may all your dreams come true.

10/14/2014 #37
Annything

December 4th, 2014

Hello everyone who is a lurker because this thread is locked! In approximately 2 weeks, on December 18, 2014, it will be The Madhouse's 2 year anniversary. What does this mean? *gasp*

Well, it means that you will write a story (we're on a writing website, actually, in case you have only had the chat thread's tab open for the past few months and forgot your purpose) about Madhouse. Inside jokes are highly recommended. Nearly required, really.

The best example is BangBang's fabulous post #10 which includes

  • A plethora of inside jokes
  • Comedy
  • Grammar
  • Hilariousness
  • AND GREAT FORMATTING

Great formatting means that you avoided huge paragraphs of text (example of wrongness is my post #16). Although his formatting is (presumably) not completely intentional but is actually what you do for character conversation in writing, it was still a very even post. Note: Lines are no longer a thing but in his post he did not use them even though at the time lines were a thing. He used various format tools like BOLD and whatnot which helps the eyes separate whatever it is meant to separate. The main issue is huge walls of text are hard to read so by formatting it in a readable way while still blending in well is key to winning the nonexistent story of year. Because it's opinion and everyone can post theirs in the thread. No winners.

Great hint: if you're going to make this in the text boxes that FP displays COPY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WRITTEN EVERY NOW AND AGAIN TO SAVE YOUR WORK.

Two weeks notice so you can start procrastinating knowingly. It will be at the back of your mind for these next two weeks. Enjoy.

The rules that are currently posted show a 5/8 members ratio is no longer accurate. Rule number 4 is VOID because it is common knowledge that FP doesn't have post restrictions meaning your format has extra room to grow. Regular rules still apply. Don't break the page. Really.

Glorified users who celebrated with us on December 18th, 2013:

Seven with 4 posts

Me with 20 posts

BangBang with 1 post

Oba with 3 posts

Boona (a passerby who is no longer with us) with 2 posts

PLEASE CONTRIBUTE. ONE SENTENCE WILL MAKE YOU LAME BUT IS BETTER THAN NOTHING.

THANK YOU.

12/4/2014 #38
Annything

December 11th, 2014

It is annother announcement that is essentially the same as the last ones except this time I'm going to be super intense and FORCE YOU TO POST THERE.

Unless you're a stranger. If you're a stranger you shouldn't enjoy that thread.

BUT there is only one more week--December 18th--that I will unlock the bestest thread ever that is only open for 24 hours each year. 24 hours Eastern time because the majority of us are Eastern time but others will be 5 hours late (5 AM, British people time), 1 hour early(11 PM, middle people time), and 3 hours early(9 PM, Rocky Mountain's time).

YOU WILL

I REPEAT

YOU WILL

Post an amusing sentence, a funny poem, a funny story, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. I WILL TOTALLY BANN YOU. (I can't though but let's pretend in the rules there's something about forcing Madhouse people to post).

You should be excited. You should be enthused. YOU SHOULD FEEL POSITIVE EMOTIONS.

Okay, this is becoming really stupid I'm sorry. Anniversary soon. Join or be burned at the stake for about an hour before you are eaten by a variation of mammals that may or may not include humans and while you try to scream with your head cut off a monkey is trying to bash your skull open against a rock and wondering what kind of weird coconut you are.

Just remember to have fun! :D

12/11/2014 #39
Annything

December 17th, 2014

Tonight I'm going to open the anniversary thread at 12 AM eastern time. Topics take a couple minutes to unlock and I will take a few moments to edit first post. Again, you are to post there some funny things for the amusement of others for our two year anniversary. If you don't post you are lame, unimaginative, and presumably a horrible writer who can't think of annything original to post.

You're not welcome if you're not a member. The truth hurts.

You have 24 hours to show your creativity in the form of shared amusement amongst your family. If you don't then I'll assume you have a horrible imagination and you have no creativity to write one sentence in a thread that is only open for 24 hours each year.

Have fun, though. Yeah. Do that. Have it. Be creative.

12/17/2014 #40
Annything

February 4th, 2015

For history purposes I'm just going to say around this time we became 2nd place because of how popular we are what with our constant 0 New visitors every month which isn't really recorded as far as I know but, really, people probably lurk and are all like, "Ew, what the hell is going on here. Psh, I'm going to [enter other FP forums including Pervert RP or whatever it's called]."

Bonus points to people who can find out the exact date.

Hint: Seven announced it.

Let's all remember where we started. Actually, maybe we shouldn't because it's depressing.

Let's all remember that I used to think 3k was a lot of posts and now I'm like 31k (I just checked, yo) which is 31k out of a total of 94k so this means that a.) I have no life and am really lonely and b.) I made a 2nd popular forum on a somewhat large website all because I was lonely and c.) I just like to have 3 things in a list.

Annarchy is still in effect.

2/4/2015 #41
Annything

March 16th, 2015

John has been given a warning which will expire on March 23rd, 2015.

3/15/2015 #42
Annything

July 14th, 2015

Now, I know thread expiration season doesn't happen until October-ish time but I want to make things clear now;

THERE ARE ONLY TWO CHOICES.

Yes, I know that makes me sound like a dictator bitch but there are reasons for this. If you have ever seen other forums try to come up with names and allow a lot of people to come up with their own and they can vote for their own then you know it's messy. With only two perfectly set choices then it's easy. I know CV has talked to me about aforementioned strategy but I tried politely to decline that way (it mostly didn't work because when I told him the whole thing was already set up). But it's his forum so I felt a little guilty but I think he'll find my dedication and deep thought admirable.

So, what are these two choices?

PURGATORY

or

HELL

As we know last year's loser was "Hell" but now it has annother chance! :D

Now, let me make you aware that those two aren't just some random names I came up with. Purgatory was suggested by a lot of people and, if I remember correctly, I declined for a third choice and promised that it will be next year's choice. I think it's a fabulous name and if I remember who came up with it then I'd give them credit. I'll just say CV since I remember him liking that idea. Edit: It was his idea on post #912 here.

So, when election season starts approaching, NO YOU CANNOT MAKE OTHER NAMES.

Think of our chat threads as a baby and right now we're pregnant. We're flirting with the babydaddy and we say "Well, if it's a girl I want her to be named Purgatory and if it's a boy then I want it to be named Hell." Instead of being unable to control the sex of a baby since it's determined upon conception we can decide afterwards if it's a boy or girl. :D

Essentially, I don't want October to roll around and people forgot about my enthusiasm. A rose by anny other name is just as sweet or something like that. So don't get offended when I passionately exclaim my zeal for this subject.

The losing name will continue onto the 2016 election with a new name being its competitor. I was thinking "Limbo" as a sneak peek into my thoughts but we're totally open to new ideas and it's a group effort.

Believe it or not but I actually got the impression that others approve of this name from a few side comments others have made. I don't even think Purgatory was my idea. So there. I'm not a dictator bitch. Hmmph.

JUST BE EXCITED FOR THE 2015 ELECTION, OKAY?

7/14/2015 . Edited 7/14/2015 #43
Annything

December 8th, 2015

We have a bit of news. First of all, I was wrong. There is no 2015 election because this year our chat thread hasn't been filled up. Chances are the forum won't die and the chat thread will need to be recreated some time in 2016.

Second of all, after Lady questioned our confusing Penny For Your Thoughts system I realized that that hasn't been updated since the first day of the forum. The forum was personal back then and we were all friends beforehand so we talked about PMs and the like. That no longer is a requirement--even if the user requests a PM. We no longer keep track of which individual became interested in what idea because, frankly, most people don't care annymore and some of the posts in there are made by people who aren't friendly with us annymore.

And some of the posts are 3 years old. There's that too.

Third of all, THE MADHOUSE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION IS IN 10 DAYS.

December 18th, 2012 our forum started.

December 18th, 2015 our forum is celebrating its THIRD BIRTHDAY.

3 YEARS

HOW COOL IS THAT?

And, yeah, some people are stubborn and won't post no matter how much I beg (DARN YOU, WINGS) I still expect a better turn out this year. We have some new regulars and they're welcome to celebrate as well since they're aware of its history and we've all grown chill with each other and whatnot.

Regular reminders like:

It is only open for 24 hours starting at 12 AM Eastern time.

Celebrations usually include writing funny stories/plays/poetry about the members. I have collected my own writings in a story I have on my profile which may give you an idea of how our stories go. Basically, there are so manny inside jokes that other people will never understand how it is funny at all. But it doesn't matter since it's hilarious to us. That's all that matters.

There are suggestions for your stories in a few posts above this talking about the best way to format a story so FP doesn't throw a fit at you and makes it readable to other users.

It's fun but don't be annoying about your spamming. You can double/triple/quadruple post (posting a post and then posting annother underneath. An example would be this whole thread).

Share your experiences with The Madhouse. Your first impressions and whatnot.

Annything goes. Knock yourself out. Knock your socks off. Have at it.

Just don't be a dick about it.

12/8/2015 #44
TheOneAndOnlyBangBang

November 9th, 2016

Okay so ours is a really small forum to be real with you guys and not much really goes in the way of official rulings and stuff, and what I'm putting in this post is unofficial and only really adheres to myself and my own views, but I feel like this needs to be said right now.

Today Mega Hitler Donald Trump won the United States presidential election. Now while I myself am not an American citizen I know a lot of people who use this forum regularly are and many people browsing this website who might stumble upon this place certainly are, and I want to extend an invitation to anyone who feels threatened or uneasy about the current state of US and, honestly, global politics. With that goal in mind, I'm calling to make this forum a safe space for anyone of any minority disposition from anywhere in the world. I am making the personal decision not to tolerate any kind of abusive speech and I'm absolutely changing my response to any trolls we get on here.

In the past I've had a personal policy of memeing assholes into the ground, but at least temporarily while America wakes up to the shitstorm they're brewing, I want to make sure people on this forum feel safe. At my own discretion I'm just going to start outright banning toxicity if I see it because in the current political climate people should be able to find refuge and solidarity online, not adversity.

That's all I want to say, this isn't an official announcement, more just my own approach, and don't worry - this forum is still a place where people of opposing views can coalesce and debate, I'm just saying I'm going to be extra careful with inclusivity and not-being-assholes-to-each-other here.

Peace and solidarity comrades.

11/9/2016 . Edited 11/9/2016 #45
Annything

May 5th, 2017

Since no one annswered my question of "Slut-cows, new mascot or no?" we are now a Christiann forum. We discuss Christiann things and only do coitus under these conditions:

  1. Married
  2. Missionary
  3. Lights off
  4. No birth control
  5. Must cum inside every time
  6. PENIS IN VAGINA ONLY

Anny who has an issue with this should've thought about it before I had to go through such drastic and desperate measures. I also expect all of you to check in on Sundays and confirm you went to church or did a prayer giving valid explanation to The Lord that you could not come. Please explain what you learned in church this Sunday and/or include the script of the prayer that you sent to The Lord on your reasoning for missing such an important event such as your weekly church meetings.

If you already have a god like Allah or Buddha or Tom Cruise you must now add The Lord/Hayzooz/Yahweh/God to your list of "People I am faithful to." Your list should look like:

  1. The Lord/Hayzooz/Yahweh/God
  2. Your choice other gods (optional)
  3. Your Christian brethren
  4. Your spouse

If you must have a shit list in your life that the love of Hayzooz can not exterminate you must now add these to the top of your list:

  1. The Gays
  2. The Blacks (excluding church going, Hayzooz abiding Christianns)
  3. Muslims (excluding those who have added Hayzooz to their weekly regime of prayer)

Hayzooz does not recommend these shit lists since they are kinda mean but if they fall under The Christiann Umbrella then they are exempt and should be promptly removed as you are sinning in the eyes of Hayzooz.

If you already are Christiann then you must go to church biweekly on Sundays and Wednesdays. If you are pretending (NOT GONNA CALL ANNYONE OUT BECAUSE I AM NOW A WOMAN OF THE LORD BUT THERE IS A FAKER IN OUR PRESENCE HERE IN THIS VERY CHRISTIANN FORUM) then you must now confess your sins and pledge yourself anew. If not already baptized you must re-baptize yourself in a Hayzooz approved body of water.

Amen, and may Hayzooz (and others) be with you.


In addition, we are now The Slut-cows. Additional information can be found here and here. Post #30,718 to #30,732.

In Slut-cow culture the words "whore-cattle" and "trampy-bovine" are unacceptable and offensive. The most politically correct term that many who are slut-cows agree with is Slut-cows or Slut-Cows. Do not make the mistake of Cow-sluts. The "Slut" part always comes first. If you have trouble remembering this then keep in mind that saying "cow" first makes it seem that we are cattle. We are not cattle. We are humanns for the most part but the added "cow" to the "Slut" is the operative word for someone who throws themselves at annybody with stick between their legs.

We are The Slut-Cows and we are proud.

Do not look up "Cow Slut" on urban dictionary as some drunk chick made up some mildly offensive words.

Amen, Hayzooz bless The Slut-Cows.

Happy Cinco De Mayo.

5/5/2017 #46
Annything

July 31st, 2017

In addition to our new Christiann lifestyle I'm here to remind us all that we are a great place to talk about shit that you're too embarrassed to or don't want to dump it on other people. Sure, you are dumping it on us, but we are here to BE ANNGRY WITH YOU or AGREE or PRETEND TO CARE or IGNORE COMPLETELY. You have a first world problem? We're here to AGREE or IGNORE but now you can talk about trivial things and it won't affect your relationships with tangible people!

Ever get that feeling your BF or BFF or SO or BRO don't really care about your story? It's 'cause they probably don't! Your life is not exciting enough for them and they really don't give a fuck. Don't be worried, they probably love you (I mean, they at least pretended to care or listen unless they didn't which I don't have a response for!) but they just don't care about what Jennifer did at work!

DO I EVER HAVE A GREAT PRODUCT FOR YOU

The Madhouse! Hit that reply button and create a masterpiece about Jennifer and how you really feel about that bitch! If it has tons of delicious drama you will probably have a mod who is interested in details! If questions are being asked, NOW YOU CAN GO TO FUCKING TOWN ABOUT JENNIFER AND HER EXPLOITS. SURE, IT'S PETTY SHE STEALS THE STAPLER EVERYDAY BUT FUCK HER ANNYWAY. If you have no responses you know you at least didn't dump that dumb superficial shit on someone you actually care about!

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

Ever get that feeling you should respond to a rannt out of kindness? Well, I have a solution for you! You just ignore that shit because you don't care! Did Ann just make annother post about her dull life and YOU. JUST. DON'T. CARE.? You now have a wonderful option called: IGNORE. IGNORE is a great product to use when things get dull and you want to talk about something else but you feel bad for trying to change the subject. No longer do you have to hold your tongue! When you use IGNORE you have full discretion to talk about whatever you want!*

Using our product will get the following results:

  • IGNORE
  • AGREE
  • INTEREST
  • KIND OF AGREE
  • KIND OF INTERESTED
  • FULL ACCESS TO MADHOUSE SECRETS

USE NOW FREE FOR 70 MONTHS!

*IGNORE does not work when you attempt to be a complete and utter dick and posting while using it will have negative results.

7/31/2017 #47
Annything

December 4th, 2017

EVERYONE, LISTEN UP!

You got some anniversary preparations to do. 2 weeks to get ready so buckle up and procrastinate! As always, thread will be unlocked at 12 AM and locked at 11:59:30 PM because I know someone is gonna be that jerk to try to get a post that doesn't say "December 18th, 2017" and I'm not one to delete posts. I'll be traveling on the 19th to South Carolina so I might appear a little dead afterwards. Just pretend that it's a REALLY LONG HANGOVER BECAUSE I GOT DRUNK ON YOUR LOVE.

I haven't decided on what I'm going to do but basically what we should do is reminiscence, tell stories (fictional, non-fiction, or half-truths), poems (Seven's poems are best poems I am sorry but none of y'all can compete in this category), and establish yourself in an ULTRA EXCLUSIVE THREAD.

"Hey, remember that time when we RP'd?"

"LOL, NO, WHAT??? ARE YOU SERIOUS???????"

"Totes. It was actually pretty well put together and was very helpful in the development of writing styles but no one actually cares."

"LMAO, I SURE FUCKING DON'T!"

Ect.

12/4/2017 #48
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