Love and Sexism
What do you think about the relationship between the sexes in romance novels? I encourage you to express your honest opinions.
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Ligeia de Valois

In my quest to become a strong and empowered woman, I've decided that marriage is highly overrated. If you love the person, what does a piece of paper matter? I don't feel as though any commetted, loving relationship I might have in the future would be underminded by lack of legalities.

To me, all the paperwork seems a little reminicant of the days where women were bartered and sold like cattle to the most eligable batchlor willing to place a bid. Am I alone in this thinking?

4/8/2008 #1
encima

I agree.I told my friends that will not date anyone because of dating is stating your claim on a person. They say that wierd to believe and othes say its because I don't have a boyfriend. But if the boy likes the person so much will does he have to date the person. Does it give you the right act like some lovey dovey girl who is brain damaged. Boys date to state conquer of the person and show off to his friends, the same with marriage. I just don't understand. Most couples complain after their married and they get a dicovrce.So not marrying is deciding your saving yourself from all the drama. Right?

4/8/2008 #2
Ligeia de Valois

I agree with the "saving yourself from all the drama" part of your post, but I must say we are a bit at odds with the whole dating thing. I don't see "dating" as stating your claim on a person I see it as stating that you're both going to be monogimous. That you're both on the same page with where your relationship is going.

4/8/2008 #3
dbz 77

I agree.I told my friends that will not date anyone because of dating is stating your claim on a person. They say that wierd to believe and othes say its because I don't have a boyfriend. But if the boy likes the person so much will does he have to date the person. Does it give you the right act like some lovey dovey girl who is brain damaged. Boys date to state conquer of the person and show off to his friends, the same with marriage. I just don't understand. Most couples complain after their married and they get a dicovrce.So not marrying is deciding your saving yourself from all the drama. Right?

What about sex? Can you find people willing to have sex with no commitment?

Michael

8/12/2009 #4
Adara of Giovanni

Well, to begin with, has anyone who replied ever been married? If not, (though I'm sure you've had multiple of people who are married talk to you) you really have no clear indication what marriage is going to be like. Boyfriend and girlfriend scenarios let you bail out immediately should you or your mate find something out of place, therefore, it doesn't really hold you to any promise you may have previously made.

Affection when in a relationship should not come at a price, I don't want to give you that impression.

Marriage is not only a, "piece of paper" it is a written commitment to the other person, their life, and potentially your children together. It is something that will legally protect your rights while you are with them. It's like getting that legal contract you sign when you sign-up for a cell phone. It is there to protect the company AND the consumer.

I find that most of the time people will administer labels like, "bartered" out of naivete. Like all things, hell like all relationships, marriage is a give and take. Marriage also equalizes the couple should issues arise about who gets what, should things go south. The problem today is that everyone enters marriage ignorant of what it takes to stick with someone long term. They end up feeling disillusioned at the end of it, and blame it on the institution of marriage, rather than their own stupidity and impulsiveness.

I don't think its marriage that is flawed, so much as the people who do it on a whim, or because they can't think of any better way to hold onto their mate.

7/24/2010 #5
Writing-Is-Fun

Not dating or married, but what you said is well said. Generally it's the people who have problems because they think there's some huge flaw they find in their partner and that makes them uncomfortable. When really this is not always the case they overexaggreate some of the problems they face and then lose their partner because of some minor thing. I feel this happens in real life and in media because of things like long distance relationships through texting and a strange sense of self control in both people. If the person does not respond two seconds after you text them don't go calling them or texting them frantically every five minutes that breaks down whatever you have becuase that frankly seems annoying. Romance in the media always makes it so that this kind of problem or problems are solved fairly quickly, but in real life if you make a person mad they do not forgive after a few days and may never.

7/31/2010 #6
JeanneLaska

Marriage is not only a, "piece of paper" it is a written commitment to the other person, their life, and potentially your children together. It is something that will legally protect your rights while you are with them.

Marriage also equalizes the couple should issues arise about who gets what, should things go south. The problem today is that everyone enters marriage ignorant of what it takes to stick with someone long term. They end up feeling disillusioned at the end of it, and blame it on the institution of marriage, rather than their own stupidity and impulsiveness.

Words of wisdom.

I agree.

2/3/2011 #7
A Fire Rose

It's not about paperwork -- it's a pledge. And if you truly are devoted, why avoid such a pledge? It's between the bride, the groom, and God. A sacred covenant.

10/14/2011 #8
A Fire Rose

I also agree with Adara on the quoted statements.

10/14/2011 #9
Mrs.NickJ
I also think that making that public declaration with the one you love is something very special.
8/5/2012 #10
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