I'm a die-hard Yankee Fan, so expect some Red Sox bashing here. Heh. And I'm a Giants fan too, which explains the first joke a bit.9/5/2007 #1
A man walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender says "Sorry, but we don't allow pets in here." The man replies:
"Oh, it's alright, this is a special dog!" The man replies, "Just turn on the New York Jets(football) game and you'll see!" So the bartender turned on the game. Every time the Jets kicked a Field Goal, the dog would do a backflip.
"Wow! That's amazing!" The bartender exclaimed. "What does he do if the Jets score a touchdown?!"
To this, the man replied: "I don't know. I've only had him... for 7 years."
How do you get a Red Sox fan's eyes to light up? Shine a flashlight through their ears.
haha- i actually get them, although i dont really follow sports.9/5/2007 #2
i love the first one!
Albert Einstein is going to a party, and he decides he's going to ask the IQ of all the guests he meets, and, using their IQ as a reference, try to relate to them as best he could.9/5/2007 #3
He meets a man at the party, and asks his IQ. "142," the man replied. "Excellent!" Said Einstein. "We can talk about my theory of relativity! We have much to discuss!"
He then came across a woman. When he asked her IQ, she told him it was 136. "Excellent!" Einstein exclaimed. "We can discuss the theoretical possibilities of the universe! We have much to discuss!"
After talking to her, he moved on to another man. He asked the man's IQ, to which the answer was 62. Einstein stared at the moment, remembering to try to relate to him: "Go Red Sox!" He said, and walked away.
OMGosh... HAHAHAHAAAA!!!9/6/2007 #4
A family full of Red Sox fans is shopping in a mall. Out of the blue, the six year old son pulls a Yankees jersey off the rack and tells his father he wants to buy it, and that he wants to become a Yankee fan. The father slaps him on the back of the head. "No son of mine will ever be caught in something like that!"9/6/2007 . Edited 9/6/2007 #5
Riding in the car back home, the father says "I hope you learned a lesson today, son."
"Sure did!" Said the kid. "I've only been a Yankee fan for an hour and I already hate you Red Sox ***.
thats a good one! :)9/7/2007 #6
Two kids are playing Ice Hockey in Central Park(NY) alone. In the midst of their game, a huge dog jumps onto the ice, and starts bolting toward the younger of the kids, teeth bared.9/7/2007 #7
"Look out!" the older kid yelled, and the younger one pivoted quickly and fell back on his butt from being startled. The dog jumped toward the kid on the ground, but the older one shoved his hockey stick into the charging animal's collar, twisted, and broke the dog's neck.
A news reporter was watching from off the rink, not close enough to help, but close enough to see what had just transpired. He ran onto the ice, now. "That was amazing!" He yelled. "You saved your friend! I'm going to write an article about this!" He pulled out a pen and paper, and started writing, while reading what he wrote out loud. "...Little Rangers(hockey) fan saves friend and kills mutt..."
"Excuse me, sir?" The kid chimes in. "I'm not a Rangers fan."
"Oh, okay," the reporter says, and begins to read and write it over. "Little Yankee fan saves life of friend and..."
"Excuse me?" The kid asks again. "I'm not a Yankee fan either."
"Well then," the reporter asked, confused. "What team DO you root for?"
"The Red Sox," the kid replied. The reporter glared at him for almost 10 seconds, and began to write and read again.
"Little Brat kills beloved family pet..."
Dumb Football Players9/8/2007 #8
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.
Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
She's new to football
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
haha... couldnt find any really good ones!
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.9/21/2007 #9
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Red Sox fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Red Sox fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Yankees fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Yankees fan?"
"Because my mom is a Yankees fan, and my dad is Yankees fan, so I'm a Yankees fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Yankees fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"
"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."
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