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tell some funny jokes u know and learn some new ones!
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DudeInHyrule
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

-------------------------------------

What do you call 1000 lawyers drowning in a lake? A good start.

-------------------------------------

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Five. One to hold the lightbulb, four to spin the chair around.

How many lawyers does it take to paint a house? A thousand and one. One to hold the paintbrush, 1000 to lift the house up and down.

4/19/2007 #1
Mermaiddiver
*snicker* geez! my favorite was the first one, with the grass! he's so dumb!

:P

4/24/2007 #2
DudeInHyrule
No, he's so cheap that the only thing he would offer them is his grass!
4/24/2007 #3
Aisu Kyo
i think this is a "lawyer" joke because it has a rich man in it.

the worlds riches, oldest, and smartes men and a school boy are all flying in a plane, there are 4 parachutes. the plain starts to crash and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps. the worlds richest man grabs a chute and says he deserves to live because he is important to the economy. the worlds smartest man jumps to because he said he was needed to make new discoveries. the old man exclaims"oh no, there's only one parachute left!"

the boy said "It's ok-"

"No, no. iv lived my life and you haven't, so you need to live." the man interupted

"No it's ok. the worlds SMARTEST man took my backpack"

5/28/2007 #4
DudeInHyrule
Not bad. ^_^ I think you could work on the telling a bit, though...
6/19/2007 #5
Aisu Kyo
sorry, it's funnier in person when yopu can see the hand motions and hear the sarcasm in my voice
6/19/2007 #6
dedicatedto grown up zeros
That was hiliarious! I didn't get it at first, but when I did.. Oh man.
6/20/2007 #7
Aisu Kyo
thnx, and where did u go on the Jack Sparow RPG?
6/20/2007 #8
Greenfire42
DopeyTheChosen1 is a slob/twit.
6/21/2007 #9
dedicatedto grown up zeros
Sorry, I just was unsure of what to write. I'll try to get on it.
6/22/2007 #10
Aisu Kyo
YAY!!!!!! If you have your own ship, I'm on the open seas. If not, I'm headed to Illa Dumenta
6/22/2007 #11
Mermaiddiver
wow u guys r random...
8/10/2007 #12
DudeInHyrule
FanFiction.Net/~LostInHyrule

Go there. Go to his forums. Forum of Chaos is the ultimate in random.

9/5/2007 #13
Ahumatae
Yes, it is a very good forum. ^_^
9/30/2007 #14
DudeInHyrule
For the sake of modesty, I"ll just say its random. ^_^
10/3/2007 #15
Irony of Dying On Ur Birthday
ok so a couple are on there way to get married when they get into a car accident and find theselves standing in front of the pearly white gates. The angel there (i think its st peter but i honestly dont know, could someone tell me). So they're talking and getting the paperwork all done with when the couple ask peter if they can still get married in heaven. Peter replies,"Hmmmm... i dont know. Let me go find someone to ask. Wait here while i do." So the couple waits. And waits. And waits until Peter finally returns. Peter tells them that yes they can get married if they want to. The couple is overjoyed, but they had a lot of time to think about the whole ordeal so they ask, "What if it doesn't work out? Would we be able to get a divorce?"

Peter replies, "Oh my god! It took me three months to find a damn priest up here. Do you know how long it will take me to find a laywer?!?!"

11/4/2007 #16
Ahumatae
Wow... That is pretty funny. ^^_^^
11/5/2007 #17
DudeInHyrule
That's wrong on every level... I love it. ^_^
11/18/2007 #18
Ahumatae
Lost, do you know how weird it is to see "Dude" where "Lost" should be? Does WD not have his own account now?
12/3/2007 #19
DudeInHyrule
Yes, I suppose you're right. I'll change it at some point...
12/7/2007 #20
pedxing
OH MY GOD! People! You couldn't have come up with different names for your selves?!?!? Legend's Legacy did...
2/17/2008 #21
DudeInHyrule
You're legend's legacy!?! Hi!
3/6/2008 #22
pedxing
Why yes I am! Hi to you to!
3/6/2008 #23
DudeInHyrule
Why is your name different here?
3/6/2008 #24
pedxing
Because I like pedxing just as much as I like Legend's Legacy.
3/7/2008 #25
aNnA mArIe BeLl

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral.

The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them."

11/9/2008 #26
theraggles

There once was a truck driver who hated lawyers so much, that when he saw one walking on the side of the road, he would swerve and hit them. One day, he was driving his truck when he saw a priest walking on the side of the road. He slowed down and asked him if he needed a ride anywhere. He replied that he only needed to be dropped off a mile down the road.

Just then, the truck driver spotted a lawyer walking on the side of the road. In habit, he swerved, aiming to hit the lawyer, but at the last moment, he remembered that he had a priest in the car and swerved to miss him at the last second. He hears a soft thump.

"Father, I'm so sorry. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That's okay. I got him with the door."

---

A joke from one of my friend's joke books. Are these supposed to be original? Oops.

4/13/2010 . Edited 4/13/2010 #27
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