Shutterfly Simmons
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Joined 11-21-14, id: 1003559, Profile Updated: 07-28-16
Author has written 24 stories for Humor, Humor, Haiku, and General.

Hi, I exist! Do you exist?

I apologize if my format or whatever sucks. You can find me on Fanfiction.net under as Shutterfly Simmons.

If bad stories aren't good enough and you want bad art, too. Check out my Deviant Art, as ShutterflyS.

Anything I write will be humorous. I might occasionally post something serious, just as a personal challenge. I'm making it my goal to make my stories as unpredictably weird as possible. I also have this weird tendency with killing characters in really obscure ways. I'm not even sure if some of these deaths are possible. It's just the only way to get rid of characters that I don't like without writing a plot. Another weird thing I do is using really obscure names. I get them off of a random name generator, because I'm uncreative and naming is too hard.

I'm really lazy. You should know that upfront.

I also want to thank all my readers, reviewers, followers, favoriters, and (PMers?, not sure if that's the right word.) for reading, reviewing, following, favoriting, and PMing me. Every little bit of motivation helps!

If you're in the mood for more crazy stories, I'd advise you to head over to Murposifly, a joint account between Murp-o, Allasophy, Lumosify, Fatbunny330, PurpleCloudEnthusiast, and me. The stories only get wackier!

If you want to write a story with me, then either PM me or add to the Sancho the Cactus forum. (Warning: All stories will end up ridiculous)

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Suesan: The Special Spoon by Murposifly reviews
Even in a world of cutlery, the dreaded Mary Sue lurks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,235 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/10/2017 - Published: 8/12/2016
Don't trust strangers that offer you candy by murp-o reviews
If there was something that Brandie knew, it was to never trust strangers who offer you candy. She had realized this important rule of life when a mysterious man offered her chocolate, saying it was in the back of his van. She should have known he was lying.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/22/2015 - Complete
The Drawing Contest by murp-o reviews
When Landie saw the flyer for the drawing contest, she squealed. It was a dream come true. It was one of the few things she was really good at.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/2/2015 - Complete
Two Noble Uncles Drinking to the Beat by Kiddie Squiggles reviews
The result of using a short story generator, and my life story in a nutshell (I don't know what I was thinking when I made this)
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/27/2015 - Complete
War, Debris and The Very Last Bee by murp-o reviews
When the first attack came, nobody noticed. When the second attack came, one person screamed. And when the third attack came, two people screamed. It was an all-time high of fear from the attackers so they deemed it as an achievement. Warning: Crack fic
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 432 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/26/2015 - Complete
Why you should never trust a dancing hat by murp-o reviews
The hat appeared out of nowhere and brings an entire police station into a frenzy. Warning: Crack story, Major Character Death
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 340 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/26/2015 - Complete
She was running by murp-o reviews
I went online and chose a prompt. I then proceeded to give myself 10 minutes to write a story with it. This is what the outcome is. Summary: Marylou wants a new phone.
Fiction: Action - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 320 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2014 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Livingstone Manor reviews
Livingstone Manor is that strange house that every fake town seems to have. And, this town has had just about enough of Livingstone Manor and its quirks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,609 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/27/2016 - Complete
It's Not as Bad as This reviews
Do you think your stories are not great? Do you need cheering up? Do you want to make fun of something? This is a collection of horrible stories that I wrote when I was a kid. Ranging from continuity issues to huh? moments, "It's not as Bad as This" makes anyone feel better about their work and is guaranteed to make you go wait, what? Inspired by Lumosify's "What Editing Really Is"
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,088 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/14/2015 - Published: 11/23/2014 - Complete
First Meeting reviews
Some people are meant for each other. Others aren't. This terrible romance will show you not only that love is a strange thing, but also that some people just aren't meant to write romance stories. Enjoy!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 747 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/24/2015 - Complete
Perfection reviews
The story of a perfectionist who continuously meets failure.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 555 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/22/2015 - Complete
Whale Girl reviews
Baily has had her whales all her life, but what happens when she's ready for them to be gone?
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 599 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/2/2015 - Complete
Gumballs reviews
"It has been presumed missing for three years." "You'll never find it." "Idiot, you're just wasting your time." Nobody thought I could do it. A plotless adventure.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2015 - Complete
Misplaced reviews
The dead body was missing and my boss demanded an explanation. A plotless mystery.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2015 - Complete
Sacks of Giraffes reviews
Reporter Justy Shafir doesn't feel like doing her reports. She's convinced that her bubbly neighbor, Asa, is up to something. What happens when Justy thinks that that something is illegal?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 570 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/1/2015 - Complete
Desperate reviews
One procrastinating girl's attempt to look productive.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 424 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/1/2015 - Complete
Hormon's Quest reviews
Hormon must team up with his local lemon Smith after an epidemic forces world leaders to do the unthinkable. Lemons become illegal. Hormon must try to prove that his beloved fruit is not causing allergic reactions on a global scale. Warning : crack! Story
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 866 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/27/2015 - Complete
The Fire of Obsession
When Ashoton was a little kid, he saw his first candle. Years later, he's still struggling with his candle addiction. Can his neighbor help him? Warning: Crack! story
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/27/2015 - Complete
Lump reviews
Sometimes life has lumps. Even the lives of whiny little kids.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 290 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2015 - Complete
Computers reviews
My experiences with computers in a nutshell. Warning: Terrible rhymes
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1/26/2015 - Complete
Takeover reviews
One foolish hot-headed assassin's attempt at world domination.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2015 - Complete
Acronym reviews
An acrostic poem about acronyms. Written because I was too lazy to do actually be working right now.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/21/2015 - Complete
Stuff reviews
What is stuff? What does it mean? Honestly, I don't know either, but if you think I do, then read this poem.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/15/2014 - Complete
Faces reviews
Sometimes an extremely bored person decides to write a poem. This is the result. I don't think this had anything to do with faces, in the end.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/8/2014 - Complete
The Truth About the Truth reviews
I was really bored.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/5/2014 - Complete
Printers reviews
This poem is a tribute to the annoyingness of printers.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/5/2014 - Complete
The Lucky Stapler reviews
Ramón Quirke's sanity is questionable. Mainly because of his crazy actions and his strange obsession with his stapler and mailbox. After he accidentally runs away with a murder weapon, he looks pretty guilty. Ramón must find a way to prove his innocence without harming his precious stapler. Get ready for a lot of facepalms as you struggle to understand Ramón's logic and priorities.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 969 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/4/2014
Broccoli for Honor reviews
She placed it in her pocket, turned and ran. Panting, Niviarsiag Meier brought her hand to her pocket to make sure the piece of broccoli was still there. Niviarsiag, nicknamed Nivvy, had stolen the broccoli to protect her honor.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 336 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2014 - Complete
What Is This? reviews
You know how there's a point when a supposedly depressing poem becomes plain weird? Here's a poem I wrote in fifth grade (that I swear I don't remember writing) that crosses that line. Be prepared to read an overly depressing poem on a subject that I don't recall being quite so passionate about.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/23/2014 - Complete
A Window to Insanity reviews
Ingvar Chmiel always had a problem with a certain window. That dreaded window has now cost him his reputation and social life. Now, Ingvar seeks revenge against the descendants of the window 's creator. warning : Really Crazy
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 758 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/23/2014 - Published: 11/22/2014 - Complete
If He Hadn't Tripped reviews
If He Hadn't Tripped is a truly pointless story about a hair-obsessionist, an angry person, and a clumsy idiot. When the three are brought together temporarily weirdness ensues. A story that changes your definition of completely random and pointless.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/22/2014 - Complete
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Community: Collection of Craziness
Focus: Fiction Humor