King Patch
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Joined 08-29-01, id: 104485, Profile Updated: 07-20-09
Author has written 3 stories for Thriller, Romance, and Young Adult.

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

-Leonard Cohen


hi guys, in case anyone's reading this. I'm sorry I've been outie for so long, trying to finish up my thesis etc. I have published the newest chapter, and it simply reeks of plot! So I hope you enjoy.

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Hiring a Hooligan by Deena reviews
Determined to put the fear of God into the racist homophobe who messed up her best friend, mild-mannered Jane Hazelton resorts to hiring a thug to do the job. Trouble is, said thug isn’t interested in money, he’s interested in her. **COMPLETED**
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 110,036 - Reviews: 2291 - Favs: 3,206 - Follows: 704 - Updated: 8/23/2013 - Published: 9/3/2005 - Complete
You Say Stay by Penny Lane3 reviews
He hadn't spoken to her in years. Then one day, they were both late... This is the story of the Misfit and his Princess.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 40,430 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/26/2013 - Published: 4/6/2003
Suddenly Slowly by ithinkimae reviews
"I think I love you, Hal." He said lackadaisically. I pushed his hands off my shoulders. I couldn't listen to his nonsense and it didn't help that I let him act this way with me. "You need help Gavin. Plus, you're drunk." This was too much for a girl to handle so late at night.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,452 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 6/16/2012 - Published: 3/15/2005
Of Coffee and People by svonnah-la-fay reviews
3 ex-college students (the feminist, the optimist, the pessimist) with an emotionally needy and pregnant new friend (the prep) move to NY to open a coffee shop, help their friend through her pregnancy and raise her child themselves. Pricelessly hilarious.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 76,037 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 10/6/2010 - Published: 3/17/2005
Insert Catchy Title Here by She Had Somewhere To Go reviews
I used to have a corny summary for a make believe story to lure people to read this. This is not, in fact, fiction. It is a commentary on the quality of the stories on this site...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,110 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Complete
Gum Wrapper Confessionals by extrapolating ideas reviews
Surface area, generally, isn't what most base their choice in gum off of, but most people, generally, didn't write love notes on their gum wrappers. One-shot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,309 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Complete
The Art of Movie Making by TuneOut reviews
He was the new star of Hollywood. She was the industry veteran. They were the duo that burned so bright that when they burst, it was like a perfect Oscar movie.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 84,134 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 288 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 2/12/2010 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Complete
The Opposite Effect by Jaelyn Disraeli reviews
In sixth grade, Lexa Leicester told Skyler Ashford she liked him. He left her to cry her eyes out in the hallway. Six years later Lexa tells Skyler she hates him, only this time he kisses her in front of the whole school. Confused? So is she.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,816 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 5/7/2009
Counting Chickens by pixy-dizzy reviews
She wanted the fairy tale. She wanted the chick flick. She wanted the soaring music, the dozen roses, the Princess Bride kiss-to-end-all-kisses. She wanted the cliché. It’s a pity she was so busy up in the clouds that she didn’t recognize it when it came.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 99,761 - Reviews: 933 - Favs: 700 - Follows: 567 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 4/22/2006
I'll call you freak, you'll call me delusional by Hidingnowkthxbai reviews
He was the guy no one could really label. She was just another prep. And they weren't even obsessed with each other. Yet.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 78,526 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 7/24/2009 - Published: 5/24/2005
Cinderella Never Saw This One Coming by Sally Can Wait reviews
[COMPLETE] Let me tell you, if Cinderella had tried on MY shoes for a day, she would have gotten her magic pumpkin kicked from once upon a time to happily ever after. But if the shoe fits...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 75,799 - Reviews: 863 - Favs: 800 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 1/12/2009 - Published: 10/20/2006 - Complete
The Way to a Man's Heart is Clearly Food Analogies by DevonnyAuriel reviews
Oneshot. Belle's surefire ways to get a guy: 1, Write his name on your hand. 2, Lure him in with jelly beans. If it works for kids, it works for men. And 3, recite your many witty food analogies. He won't be able to resist.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,131 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 731 - Follows: 44 - Published: 10/29/2008 - Complete
Beating the Game by Lord Iron-Balls reviews
Patrick Morrison had it good. He was socially invisible, ignored by the Neanderthals around him, and on the fast track to MIT. Then he made the mistake of getting involved in Marielle Pason's social games. But to Patrick, the only way out is to win.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 83,282 - Reviews: 1169 - Favs: 988 - Follows: 700 - Updated: 8/1/2008 - Published: 1/3/2006
Can't Buy Me Love by Sara Frisch reviews
Or can you? Money is a stronger aphrodisiac than you might think. Elly struggles with her desire to marry a wealthy man and the knowledge that money isn't everything and there is more to life than mansions and designer clothes.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,064 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 2/23/2008
Cora and Christian by scenezz reviews
In her senior year, Cora gets to know the mysterious golden boy, Christian Harris.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,615 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 4/12/2008 - Published: 3/5/2008
You Cause Dizziness to Come In A New Form by Slparker0205 reviews
A year later and I'm still not over it. I'm not over us. I'm not over you.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Complete
Once Upon A Time: A Highly Dysfunctional Fairytale by A.K.A. Writer's Block reviews
In which Iseult muses on her beauty, her money, and how to get more of both; decides marrying Prince Caspar is a good way to go about the last one; and formulates a plan to get his cliched eyes off of cliched Kimber and onto HER.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,201 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/25/2008 - Published: 2/22/2008
Over You by verita reviews
Charlie thought she found The One. So when he dumps her out of the blue for his ex, she does the only thing that makes sense: she gets even. COMPLETE.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,687 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 908 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 1/13/2008 - Published: 9/27/2007 - Complete
The Obsession with Jack by faerie-gumdrops reviews
Hello. My name is Rosie. I'm a boring, dead inside emotional wreck, living in a boring village filled with lunatics. The only colourful things in my life are the boy I don't know and the soundtrack I stole. Life is good. Complete! - REMOVED
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 2,232 - Reviews: 389 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 12/12/2007 - Published: 9/7/2005 - Complete
Avery Susan Sanders is not an Ass by Justice Bana reviews
Avery Sanders should have been pleased that she received a full ride to Verminton University, one of the most prestigious colleges around. All goes well until she meets Jack Shanahan. He's rich, arrogant, and his father is paying for Avery's education.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 101,808 - Reviews: 2445 - Favs: 2,515 - Follows: 544 - Updated: 10/25/2007 - Published: 4/1/2005 - Complete
All Play and No Work by twitched reviews
Blair and Matt haven't got along since her brother befriended him. Now it's six years on and Blair is refusing to do any of her schoolwork. When Matt's hired to tutor her, secrets Blair never wanted anyone to know start emerging, but will anything change?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 106,712 - Reviews: 1263 - Favs: 942 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 10/2/2007 - Published: 3/28/2004 - Complete
Land of Red by Queen Anabella reviews
Aliana was born with skin the color of dusty cinnamon. It was her skin that brought her to the feet of the Younger Prince of Deshret as a present to serve in his harem. And it was because of him she met his brother. Fate has an interesting domino effect.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 54,415 - Reviews: 834 - Favs: 872 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 8/15/2007 - Published: 4/18/2005 - Complete
We Were Taboo by Polished Gem reviews
Shelby's dubbed a prude for refusing to sleep with the it man in school. So when Bryce offers her the star roll in a hoax, she takes it to prove she's not a goody. They didn't plan on falling for each other, nor the town's uproar over their sentiments.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,385 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/19/2006 - Published: 6/19/2006
In A Comic Book Store by distantorigin reviews
(Complete) And he thought he'd never meet any cute girls in a comic book store...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 594 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/2/2006
Pick Your Poison: Cynicism or Naivety by Spork Sisters reviews
Her first impression of him: scruffy, handsome, and rude. His first impression of her: beautiful, psychotic, and empty-headed. But the princess and the thief have a lot more in common than they think. First impressions, after all, are rarely right.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 67,315 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 7/30/2006 - Published: 1/29/2006
shine by poet tree reviews
little girl wants to be a ..star.. and she's just as corrupt as the people she fucks.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,012 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/7/2006 - Published: 11/27/2005
An Average Story by Stormy Daye reviews
I have a disease: Average Boring Life Syndrome. Someone save me from myself.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 30,600 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 5/30/2006 - Published: 1/28/2005
Pure Brilliance by Nova-Janna reviews
Two people with rather quirky personalities and a common love of muffins...Just not the same type of muffins.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,938 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/7/2006
Creatures of the Night: The Miami WereBat by Tessandra reviews
"So - you're a vampire." "No, I'm a were-bat. What is wrong with you people? Does everything with wings have to be a bloody, arrogant, vamp" The romance of a fascinated young girl and an irritated were-bat. One Shot.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,146 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/11/2006 - Published: 12/3/2005
Black Coffee by FireBringer reviews
He was an uncomplicated boy who just happened to infuriate her. She was bitter, twisted and only wanted sex from him. So what does he do? Falls in love with her...
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 55,305 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 7/19/2005 - Published: 8/24/2004
You're Too Wonderful to Die by Shampoo Suicide reviews
I've recently become aware of the fact that I no longer hate the number nine.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,472 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/6/2005 - Complete
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Luka & Shoe reviews
UPDATED! Confrontations between insecure Constance and secretive Wolf, between cranky Luka and worried Shoe, between manic Natalie and ticked-off Shoe. A glance into Shoe's past explains some of her present. What's to happen next?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 115,770 - Reviews: 627 - Favs: 513 - Follows: 450 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 1/22/2006
April's Fool reviews
A morning in the life of a girl called Cash. For readers of my other story, LUKA & SHOE.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,159 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/12/2006
The Night Anna's Husband Told Her About Beauty reviews
Short Story. Two people, true beauty, and a murder.
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Published: 9/8/2003
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