DeadThingsStayDead
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Joined 08-14-16, id: 1070185, Profile Updated: 09-19-18
Author has written 3 stories for Fantasy, and Romance.

Ahem. Slight warning. I have no idea how seriously I'm supposed to take this website, and since I'm a complete idiot, I'll probably act totally casual and chill all the time. Meh, it doesn't matter anyway, does it?

At this point in time, I shall introduce myself, to whomever (How on earth do you write that.) it may concern. (Yes, I'm being unnaturally polite and sound like a dork. I'm well aware. That's the whole point though.)

- I go by Z.

-I'm 18.

-I'm from Switzerland. You know, the cheese and rolex place. (Europe, go learn some geography. Srsly people, jeez.)

-I speak quite a few languages. German, Swissgerman (Which is technically German too, but I just like to mention it anyway.), English, French, and a tiny bit of Spanish.

-I'm not a showoff at all, as you can see. (Ha.Ha.Ha. The irony is hilarious.)

Yeah yeah, I know, boring. Just bare with me. I believe in your endurance.

-Even though English isn't my native language, I do speak it with my Dad.

-I'm probably one of the biggest idiots around here, not because I write stupid stuff, but because I think I'm being funny when it's just sad. (Which then again is funny in its own way.)

- I'm still in school.

-That does, by no means imply, that I'm crazy smart. I am, at best, an average student, so don't get me wrong. (Neither does it mean that I'm stupid, FYI. I blame my averageness on being the living incarnation of sloth, one of the 7 deadly sins. Gluttony as well, but that's beside the point, so there.)

-And since I'm such a lazy person, I'll warn you ahead of time that most of my mistakes (spelling) will be because I don't reread my writing. Yeah... I'm no good am I... hehe.

-I have no clue what I want to do in the future. I'm one of those people who just ignore it until reality comes crashing down on me and consumes me.


Hmmm, so I promised amusing content, huh...
I could technically just tell you my life's story and you'd double over and laugh breathlessly. But I won't. 'Cause reasons. (It's personal, you know? *sniff sniff*)

Okay, since I don't have a life anyway I'll tell you about my thoughts on a zombie apocalypse: (And just so you know. I did not, in fact, write this for my profile. This is legit one of my notes.)

Let me get something straight. If you die from a zombie bite, you're a fucking idiot. Ahem. Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'll get to the why of things. It's simple, really. Zombies are mindless, slow and dumb. (At least that's the case in loads of movies.) Getting cornered by a bunch of rotting flesh-eaters is just proof of you're utter incompetence. I mean seriously, were I to live in such an apocalyptic world, the zombies wouldn't be the problem. The things I'd die from would be stuff like:

-internet-deprivation

-lack of snacks

-my beautiful bed would probably covered in blood :(

-no writing

Ya know, stupid stuff. (Although it really isn't)
Avoiding the living dead can't be that hard. Right?

Another reason for my death would be people around me. (I reeeeeally like to piss people off. Best thing ever.) They'd just plain kill me off and call it good riddance.
Oh well, without me, they'll just get eaten by a hoard of living dead preying on their flesh. 'Cause after all, I'd be the only one brave enough to bash their heads in.

...*clears throat*... That was amusing. Now you can imagine how fucking weird I am. But fuck it. If anything, it makes my stories all the more interesting.


Well then. I appreciate you reading this nonsense, 'cuz I sure enjoyed writing it.

Great first impression.

-Z

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Zemblanity reviews
When the sunset is boring and you end up getting held at gunpoint, there's really not much that could worsen the situation, is there? Apparently, there is, because this time it leads to an unfortunate encounter, a bleeding forehead and the realization that monsters are a real thing now. - /Contains: cursing, blood and the occasional sprinkle of character death/
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 28,692 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/8/2019 - Published: 7/14/2018
Stuck in the Stars reviews
-'He looked just like them, the stars sparkling in the sky. So carefree and happy, dangling his feet over the edge of the building.'- It's on the rooftop of her new home, where Mackenzie meets Grayson, the boy she can't figure out. The boy who hides behind philosophy and the night sky, but around her, his story leaks through his broken exterior.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,073 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/28/2018
Thief's Retreat reviews
A piece of cake is definitely not the description Riley would use to describe his life. Things have been going wrong ever since his sister's accident; his home life was slowly deteriorating and school had become something of redundancy. The only solace he found was in his best friend, who was there, even when the impossible became possible.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,096 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/14/2016