Jackofsometrades
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Joined 10-07-16, id: 1073982, Profile Updated: 10-13-16
Author has written 2 stories for Romance, and Sci-Fi.

I am a female

I am part of the Resistance

I have mentally prepared for the Apocalypse

I am an avid lover of anime

There are few things in this world that matter to me

During my short stay on this planet, I have realised that stupid people are in the majority. It is a sad fact.

I have learnt that the best way to live life is in silence. You notice a lot more that way.

If even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

I love God! And I'm not afraid to show it!

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

God is your best Friend, and will always be there for you. All you need to do, is ask. Repost this if you believe in His Love.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile

-If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are "crazy" and/or "insane" and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

92 of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. If you are part of the 8 who would be laughing your head off, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like stuffed animals/plushies despite that you are to old for them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can read/speak more than one language (not necessarily fluently), copy this into your profile.

If you have too many of these copy-and-paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is WAAAAAYYYY too long, copy this into your profile and proceed to brag about how long your profile is.

If you love these copy and paste things, even though they aren't that cool to begin with, copy this into your profile.

If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Rock Paper Scissors solves everything, then put this in your profile!

My best friend is insane; if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe that self-inserts deserve a fair and equal chance at being treated as nicely as other stories do, then copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, put this on your profile.

If you have siblings that drive you crazy, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like anime or manga, copy and paste this in your profile

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a shortcut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.

If you're a C.O.G. (Child of God) copy and paste this into your profile.

Never give up...unless they run out of food. Then we're all doomed...

Whenever someone does something random/crazy/weird, say,"I taught you well, young padawan."

Everyone in my class squealed when my English teacher sang Justin Beiber (except for me...I have brains) If you would be the one person to roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's impossible to have only one favourite colour, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am the Girl...

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book, and if I do dance, I dance solo. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak or a geek either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space or Yahoo, or talking to a friend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that doesn't stalk boys because they're cute or are jocks. I am the girl who sings her heart out in public. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words, who believes in her dreams, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. PrettyFanGirl; Truth Be Told 13; DEFiiANCE; Angel of Apathy; Vic Taylor; Erma Buckles; butterfly1415; NotEverJulietNeedsARomeo (got this from ); Kisara the BlueEyesWhiteDragon; Atem's Sister Atea; QueenManaOfEgypt; Velgamidragon; Princess Atemna; Lexicat; 2cute4ugirl; Aqua girl 007, ImmortalAngel92, noffermans; phantom-san;ANimEisAweSOme4400,GalaxyPegasus14; CodenameRedKrystalMatrix; Jackofsometrades


Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Most Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with jerks who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BRAINS AND A HEART to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of girls do too.

Repost this if you truly believe in God. If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this in your profile, and DON'T IGNORE THIS because in the Bible it says, "If you deny me on Earth, I will deny you in front of my Father at the Gates of Heaven."

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

If Jesus is your savior, copy and paste this into your profile

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. God is my Hero!

If you aren't ashamed to do this, Please pass this on. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM……

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "THIS IS STUPID!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how cute the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

21. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

22. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

23. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

24. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

25. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

26. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

27. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

28. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

29. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

30. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

31. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

32. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

33. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

34. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

35. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

36. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

37. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

38. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

39. Dress like the professor.

40. If your a boy wear a hot pink dress

41. If your a girl wear a tux

42. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

43. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras

Repost this if you laughed

The difference between a guy who has a crush on you and a guy who is your best friend:

A guy who has a crush on you will open the door for you.

A guy who is your best friend will clearly slam the door on your face.

A guy who has a crush on you will always give up his seat for you.

A guy who is your best friend will probably make you thumb wrestle or compete for that seat.

A guy who has a crush on you will always compliment you no matter how ugly you look.

A guy who is you best friend will tease you about it.

A guy who has a crush on you always let's you go first.

A guy who is your best friend will push you aside.

A guy who has a crush on you sends you roses.

A guy who is your best friend throw paper airplanes at you.

A guy who has a crush on you will pay for anything you buy.

A guy who is your best friend will make you pay for everything.

But a guy who has a crush on you and a guy who is your best friend will always stay by your side.

If it's true, copy this on your profile

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving The zoo, Start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! they're loose!"

19. Tell your children (or your younger sibling(s)) over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Post this on your profile

Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know.

Disdained, because of those too ignorant to believe.
Despised, because of the realists who are too afraid to dream.
Misunderstood, because others are too unsure to try.

But we, as writers, know them to be wrong.

A writer is a person who dreams.
A writer is a person who wishes.
A writer is a person who escapes.
A writer is a person who lives.
A writer is a person who is not afraid.
A writer is a person who strives.

A person who expresses.
A person who believes.
A person who understands.
A person who knows.

I am a writer.

I dream of a world where anything is possible.
I wish for a world where war is just a myth.
I escape into a world where I can predict the future.
I live in a world of joy and mystery.
I am not afraid of the world I create.
I strive in the world where others give up.

I express myself in ways others dare not try.
I believe in things others are too afraid to trust.
I understand things others cannot, in a way that others cannot.
I know, in ways that others deny.

Signed,

Azariosiza

SkylarkOfTheMoon

GalaxyPegasus14

SilverstarMadoka

CodenameRedKrystalMatrix

Jackofsometrades

If you are a writer, and believe in these, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your pen name underneath "Signed,"

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile

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When Dusk Falls
"Attention students, due to a reported fire in the surrounding areas we have been forced to evacuate the school. Please make your way to the muster point in an orderly fashion. Your parents have all been contacted so please stay calm." Unfortunately, the muster point almost killed us all
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Published: 12/4/2016
Coming home: Happy Birthday Precious
Happy Birthday Doyle, hope you enjoy it and bring Harley along with you
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 338 - Published: 10/8/2016 - Complete