Author has written 4 stories for Life.
Friends: Will be there for you when he breaks your heart
Best Friends: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
Friends: Will help you up when you fall
Best Friends: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
Friends: Helps you find your prince
Best Friends: Kidnaps him and brings him to you
Friends: Will pass you a soda
Best Friends: Will dump theirs on you
Friends: Will help you learn to drive
Best Friends: Will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance
Friends: Gives you their umbrella in the rain
Best Friends: Takes yours and runs
Friends: Will help you move
Best Friends: Will help you move the bodies
Friends: Will hide you from the cops
Best Friends: Are probably the reason they're after you in the first place
Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink
Best Friends: Are the reason you have no food
Friends: Will help you find your way when you're lost
Best Friends: Will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions
Friends: Asks you to write down your number
Best Friends: Has you on speed dial
Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back
Best Friends: Loses you stuff and says, "My bad...here's a tissue"
Friends: Only know a few things about you
Best Friends: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life...
Friends: Would knock on your front door
Best Friends: Would walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"
Friends: You have to tell them not to tell anyone
Best Friends: Already know not to tell
Friends: Are only through school/college
Best Friends: Are for life
Friends: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough
Best Friend: Will watch you stumbling all over the place and encourage you to drink more
FRIENDS: bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song
FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house
BEST FRIENDS: are the ones getting fined by the police with you
FRIENDS: Think you’re insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline
BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you
FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover
BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders
FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them
BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven
FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine
FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick
BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone
FRIENDS: dare you to scream into the street
BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking
FRIENDS: call you retarded for running through bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"
BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha! Loser!"
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f-ing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly…or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid and stuck up.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a scaredy-cat.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I'm a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cybersex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.
I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I'M A PUNK/GOTH/EMO, so I MUST LOVE Black Veil Brides
I’m a GOOD LIAR so I MUST be a good actor/actress.
I’m a MUSICIAN so I MUST be doing nothing with my life.
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You own a cell phone.
You own something from Abercrombie
You own something from Pac Sun
You own something from Hollister
You own something from American Eagle
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale
You have more than one house
Black is one of your favorite colors.
You have thought about death.
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.
Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps.
You're an atheist/Satanist/agnostic.
You can skateboard.
You've worn plaid.
You like Converse
You hate MTV
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
You dislike pink.
You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.
You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
You get straight A's.
You love/like reading.
You were/are in band
You have a curfew
You don't care what you look like.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.
You cut yourself over depression
You have been depressed.
You have black rimmed glasses.
You like the band Evanescence
You cry often.
You like emo music.
You hate being called emo.
You keep/have kept a journal/diary.
You have written a sad poem
You think emo chicks/Guys are hot
You like rap.
You are/was in a gang.
You wear/wore rubber bands in your pants.
You swear once in a while or a lot
You have freestyled.
You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
You can break dance
You like loud music
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band panic! At the disco
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance
Your hair has been dyed more than 1 color
You watch/watched the Super bowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp
CHILD OF ZEUS
You like being in charge. You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt. You were voted Class President. You do what’s best for everyone. You think you have what it takes to run for President. You think every problem has a solution. You love showing off. You like plane rides. You are hydrophobic.
CHILD OF POSEIDON
You feel at home in the water. Your favorite vacation place is at the beach. You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc. You want to do something about the marine species being abused today. You visit the local pool on a regular basis. You swim professionally. You hate seafood. You never get seasick. You’d rather ride a boat than a plane. You are acrophobic.
CHILD OF HADES
You’re not that much of a people person. You like staying in the dark and writing. You experience bad moods on a regular basis. You like listening to loud, angry music. You spend most of your time alone. You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying. You like to keep to yourself. All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be). You write in diary/journal/blog. You feel most active at night.
CHILD OF DEMETER
You own a garden. You like the great outdoors. You have a green thumb. You’re an environmentalist. You have a special connection with animals. You’re a vegetarian. You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world. You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly. You love going to flower shops. You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.
CHILD OF ARES
You often start fights. You’re a very aggressive type of person. You like watching wrestling. You’re competitive. You like reading about war. You don’t take crap from anybody. You have anger management. You never back away from a fight. Everyone does what you say. You don’t always think before you do something.
CHILD OF ATHENA
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis. Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it. You’re the valedictorian in your class. You've never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card. You get political jokes without asking people to explain them. You think it would be better if you were the President. You have a huge shelf of books at home. You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.
CHILD OF APOLLO
You’re very creative and artistic. You like listening to all kinds of music in general. You always feel sunny and optimistic. You are talented at drawing. You like writing poetry. You can play at least 3 musical instruments. You like going to art museums. You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. You have straight A's in Art on your report card. Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.
HUNTER OF ARTEMIS
You dislike boys in general. A deer is one of your favorite animals. You can shoot targets. You like silver. You like the moon better than the sun. Zoe Nightshade is awesome. You love wild animals. You spend most of your time outdoors. You love to move around the place. Hunting is not cruel if it's to hunt down monsters.
CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS
You have a way with tools. You build awesome things during your free time. You’re the best at Woodshop in your class. Metalworking is your forte. You have your own toolbox. You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots. You’re a techie. You often have carpentry projects. You dream of being a carpenter. You aren’t afraid of fire.
CHILD OF APHRODITE
Every guy/girl swoons for you. You like putting on makeup. You naturally smell good. You never experience a bad hair day. Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping. You’re always at the front of every trend. You’re the popular girl/guy at your school. You’re often invited to parties. Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.” You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.
CHILD OF HERMES
You like pickpocketing your friends. You’re a prankster. You’re a speed demon. You consider yourself restless. You’re the best speaker in the class. You like thinking on your feet and using your wits. You’re inventive and resourceful. You often start arguments. You’ve never lost a debate. You like making witty and sarcastic statements.
CHILD OF DIONYSUS
You’re the life of the party. You like wine. You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there. You can finish a martini in less than a minute. You have a happy, cheerful disposition. You’re a foodie. You like going to social events and mingling with people. You like trying out new food. You feel that you’re abundant in life. You think that too much of anything is bad.
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
You own an X-Box.
Played with Hot wheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/chap stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies. Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing