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Joined 12-24-17, id: 1105742, Profile Updated: 12-25-17

Ah, hello! I see you've found my profile page. Well, if you're interested, here's no information about me but instead some ramblings about writing techniques and cliches I like and dislike:

No. 1: Random Proper Nouns

What I mean by this is when people try to make their stories look impressive by taking preexisting words and capitalizing them, giving them a Grand New Meaning. (To use an example that bothered me very little, The Plan in The Secret of NIMH.) Ninety-nine percent of the time this feels either incredibly tacky ("We need to get the Keystone to the Protector!") or melodramatic ("The Arbiter shall decide the Castle's fate"). Even worse is when the word is taken from a foreign language; the worst among these is Latin. (Example: "The Remedium is the only thing that can heal you"). Now, that's not to say this is always bad; I just haven't seen it done well yet.

No. 2: Archaisms

I am a fan of archaisms -- if used correctly. None of this "Thee taketh thine hand out of thine pocket" nonsense. Here's how to do it right:

Forgo such constructs, and forbear
Forslingering forgotten words;
Forsake "forseek," lest ye forshut
Forbarring these forbidden terms.

Basically, if you don't know what you're doing regarding archaism, don't try it -- if failed, it always looks spectacularly corny. But if you can use it well, go right ahead; it generally adds to the quality of a story when well-executed.

No. 3: Trying to sound "Deep" by spouting cynical, nihilistic nonsense

Don't. Just don't. I despise any such "attempt" at "philosophy," and I advise anyone who thinks otherwise to actually read Thus Spake Zarathustra (I repeat, read, don't just look at a few quotes and say you've read it). Even Nietzsche, the "father of nihilism," rejected nihilism, as do I, and as does anyone else who has thought about life long enough (you'll know when you have).

No. 4: Meter (in poetry)

If you take a look at the poem above, you'll see that it's written in long meter (8.8.8.8 syllable pattern) but has no true rhymes. Here's a poem in irregular meter that rhymes in couplets:

I got out of bed and looked around my room.
Seeing the clouds outside only added to the general gloom.
I opened my computer and started typing.
Somewhere outside, I heard a nightingale piping.

Which did you prefer, the unrhymed but metrically solid poem or the rhyming but metrically irregular one? Personally, I cannot stand when a poet attempts to make a "poem" by rhyming at the end of every line, but doesn't think meter is important enough to be bothered with. If you want to write free verse, I have no problem with that; it's the "pretend meter" rhyming poems I can't stand.

Now for a general announcement: Any of the works I post here are available for use by anyone, at any time, for any purpose, free of charge. If you try to pass them off as your own, the most I will do is write a review notifying readers that I am the true author -- I see no point in hunting down people who will likely bring about their own downfall anyway.

Another announcement: I will never delete any work posted here, for any reason. I see no reason to "protect" people from reading my earlier works just because they "aren't as good," nor do I think deleting an "embarrassing" work will do anything to rid myself of it. (Ever heard of the "Streisand Effect"?)

If you've read all this, thank you for your time -- I may or may not put some information about myself here soon. Goodbye ("God be with ye," as it originally was), and good luck!