A future drug-fanatic.

jk whoops I might die today lmao august 11 2020 10:56 AM

I enjoyed the beauty of the world, that which I could see anyway. Writing is the ugliest form of art, and I am to face damnation for it.

I think I’m okay with dying. I’ve lost all my friends anyway. None of the people I’d like to speak to again will ever remember me. i am alone.

11:00 AM: Dear God Frank I’m so sorry. You’ll never find this, and if you do you won’t remember me. I realized I lost you on February 2, 2020.

11:02 AM: I’ll never see my clan again if I die today. I was content with not going home anyway. Might not even be there. This is giving up. The resignation to physical pain; a possible fate. Paranoia.

11:04 AM: Jesus Christ what a time to die in.

11:09 AM: If I die— and I probably won’t— I’ll never go to California. That is the true tragedy, but it can never be home. I’ve spent my entire time wedged between cultures and places, and in the end it meant nothing. I’ll never know home like everyone else does. Between states and between cultures, my life was pathetic and generic. I never even saw home again. Never belonged anywhere. Fuck.

11:11 AM: Sacred time. golden. sorry.

11:21 AM: Gonna listen to a song I tried to poison (not kill) myself to about a month ago. i’m gonna be ok. i think. if not at least I can pretend I’m at home.