Billy J and Bobbie Lou help each other throw a North Korean infant off the bridge. A nightmare follows...and not just for one person. Based on the song "Ode to Billie Joe" by Bobbie Gentry.

It's the Yule season. You must go out into the straits and wrangle a huge bull sturgeon. For six Christmases, he's dodged your harpoons; for him, there'll be no dawn on the seventh Christmas Day...if one will.

Jeremiah, a teen prophet, is the destined Chosen One, to slay the giant monk Needlos en Nipplos. To protect its people, the state banishes him and three others. The clique of four journeys to the VSD to have words with their respective destinies...and, potentially, the doom of all.

There's a new game at the state fair: "Shave the Thylacine." Alas, a drunk crook tries to shave him...and the molester hence ends up getting viciously molested. Now, alas, the poor thylacine is on death row. He could certainly use a heroine, about now...

As Randy stays with a Mediterranean farm family, he's often haunted by nightmares of gas-controlling weevils in gas masks, who mercilessly turn all arable land in their midst into scorched-earth memories... And yet...are all of the terrifying legends really as bad as they seem?

Marissa worries for her love with John. She's convinced that if she starts walking away, and keeps walking, he won't follow her. MC is based on singer Martina McBride.

A great darkness approaches. And a gem-cutting Jew shalt tango with it.

In a black-and-white canyonland, a serial killer hunts the Mayor. Many attempt to protect her...including a mysterious everyfellow she doesn't expect.

As the Christmas season endures, you spend your leisure in the Northwest boreal forests, where you hunt snowshoe hares. You do this with a kestrel companion named Will-I-Am.

It's the Yule season. You take up a carbine, and head out across the snow-covered fallow farms, to take down a few partridges. A Weimaraner named Thomason accompanies you.

As the Yule season endures, you take trips to various waters, and angle for whitefish. It's not a bad way to spend the holidays...if you're a "small-catch" kind of angler.

In antebellum America, a band called the Shaggy Whigs composed a wedding dance song and performed it at the Black Swan's wedding. Over 150 years, the song evolves into the Vern Gosdin honky-tonk classic "Set 'Em Up, Joe."

The Black Swan of Swan Lake marries. After the wedding, she dances with her new husband. Her dance is ominous...but whether her new husband can tell remains to be seen.

Rochelle goes through an eccentric phase in life. A bachelor group of male grunions, off San Diego, aid her through it.

Six robots, all modeled after one of the six simple machines, will soon race each other across the planet Bosch. Only one, alas, will win...and, in doing so, will win the right to colonize Bosch.

An armadillo, Antonio, is lost. As he tries to recall his location, a sentient truck, possessed by a phantom, revels in running over him no less than nine times...and contracts several dents in his bumper while doing so. Strangely, he seems to do the same amount of damage to Antonio's armor...

Hitler is a youth. He's trapped aboard a U-boat, and stuck in a frozen great lake. To keep himself sane, he skates on the ice. As he does so, music plays, Jewish mega-war machines take shots at trying to kill him, and scores are kept by a nearby panel of judges. Essentially, it's everything Mel Brooks couldn't have dreamed of...and then some...

There's no human more dangerous than a mother protecting her child...except, of course, when such a woman has been proliferated, and turned into an eternally-pregnant supersoldier. These are the Virgas Prega. And the Virga Prega is "prega!"

Strecker gets fired from a job...and promptly becomes victim to a flash flood. Downriver, in an inland delta, there are undines who endure mating season. Strecker has both the fortune and misfortune of becoming embroiled in the affair.

In a barn on a lonely farm, a wizard harvestman is on a defensive. He needs help, though...so he conscripts a local teen witch in a pleated skirt.

As she represents a defendant in court, a critic comes in, and distracts everyone in the courtroom. When the dust settles, there's a new problem: Juror No. 1 has mysteriously flown the coop.

You've come to hunt ducks...and you're willing to roast and/or drown just to return to the hunting lodge with a bag full of late anatines and occasional ralline (i.e. coot).

Bella, a White Swan in a disgraced white gown, has been rejected by the love of her life. After contemplating suicide, she decides instead to run away, with a neighborhood serf boy, Nikita, by her side.

Mitch is stuck on a tropical island...with no clue, as to how to move forward. He soon, though, meets a Swedish blonde...who gives him much more than a sole clue.

Xera visits her man, who's helping the forest rangers with a prescribed forest-burn. She inadvertently turns him into an abomination...first by spraying too much Mace in his face in false alarm, and second by causing him to drop his lit torch onto the roadside, compelling him to fall into the flames while trying to put it out.

Willie's father has remarried. His new stepmother is stoned more often than not. And what's even crazier, she's almost never aware that she has a new stepson as well as a new husband... That's about to change.

Stella lives, in a Schleswiger-Holsteiner wood, with a brown-clad man of her race. For her, it's an idyllic existence. Alas, a Veneto man in black soon catches her eye...and before long, she's torn between the fascism of two nations; her own brown, and their accursed (her thoughts) black...

The welfare of an entire sea is at stake. No denizen's sanity will be secure...until the supercarriers of the world's navies...namely their crews...rise up against the threat that looms.

Lady Xantha, a noblewoman from Ancient Greece, gets her wish...when a boy from the 24th century ends up on her estate with no recollection of how he got there. He seems reverent of her Highness, too...albeit not always confident enough to say so.

In a fit of delirium, Jan time-travels to the Lower Jurassic. Worried for him, Viv follows him there. They both soon become preoccupied with a novialoid pterosaur that needs their help.

In the tropical highlands of Yunnan, a restaurant gets more food than it needs. A good-hearted waiter, Mehrak, shares the surpluses with three nearby red pandas: Khāncha, Gōlīharū, and Pātaharū. One night, he feeds to them a neglected New Year's Eve feast. The New Year opens with the three red pandas becoming the terrorist group Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.

In the Lower Triassic, a pair of white cynodonts, of the Thrinaxodon genus, become uplifted. They become time-pirates, and begin pillaging from history. They do the same thing every night.

Many people who visit restaurants are bold enough to not leave a tip. Waiters who have to put up with this, though, have clearly never met a trio of sapient giant pandas who really know how to live up to their names.

You're here, all the way from the Southeast US, to hunt the plains zebra. They're not too hard to make out; they're the black ones, with white stripes, that look like horses. Either way, you won't leave these savannas until you've scalped one of their manes.

You're here, upland in forested highlands, to hunt the southeastern black bear. You dread it, a bit... Alas, it must be done. One way or another, the black furry sasquatch must die.

You're here to hunt the wild turkey. You won't go back to the lodge without a bird in the bag. And whether it'll be worth two in the bush will remain to be seen...

Two boys go on spring break in Ft. Lauderdale. They see each other with their girlfriends from last year and try to kill each other. In the hospital, their mothers come for them. In the night, a mishap occurs. Now, both women have accidentally kidnapped each other's son!

A lady-in-black has taken up refuge in a nearby estate. But could she be as bad as she looks?

A compilation of hits, from an all-time classic rock band: the Beagles! All the essentials: Take it Wheezy, Billion Ways of Snoring, Beggin' Eyes, Take it to the Rabbit, Airport California, Stomachache Tonight, Scentous Bridges Road, Silverado...

On a hunt, five wolves chase a fox up a metal tower during a thunderstorm. One bolt of lightning later, and they're all deaf. For them, though, all hope is not lost. They might be deaf...but that doesn't mean they can't hunt...or do worse.

Wong Song Sookie is the would-be queen of a Burmese country named Harsmae. One night, her swimming pool is frequented by a mysterious criminal swimmer. Before long, alas, Ms. Wong Song's house arrest has been prolonged. And the newly-named Wong Song Sookie Swimmer is at-large, on-the-loose, and willing to pants any autocrat unworthy of needless honor.

The seas are full of dangers. And they don't come more dangerous...or psionically overbearing...than the dreaded Mexican Bass Run. (Cue the bass run...)

Eugene Busch, a state's conservative administrator, is on a fishing trip at sea. As many left-wing reporters and the salvaged crew of an ocean liner look on, Busch impressively walks on water, like Jesus Christ, while rescuing a tugboat crewlesbian. Heroic, huh? Well...the ever-so-staunchly liberal press won't think so. (The MC is modeled after George W. Bush.)

Someone's trying to kill Ms. Wolova, the British Minister of Labor. She seeks refuge on an island in the North Sea. But will this alone protect her?

A British blonde is stuck in the Khasi/Garo Highlands, among questionable company.

A green crook stays out late, stalking a more experienced crook. Meanwhile, in a city suburb, an uneasy blonde awaits his return...while only semi-sure that there will be one.

An English brunette is trapped in the Sotho Highlands among questionable company.

This is a retelling of the joke with the punchline of the same name.

I once tried being a landscaper in Ft. Worth. I hated it. Most of this tale is fiction; either way, a big part of me sometimes wishes it was all non-fiction.

This story is a variant on the classic tale "the Mouse and the Lion."

To these Russian fascists, Ben is a pest. That never felt so good.

Racine is stuck in a cold desert, surrounded by patties of livestock dung, and ornery desert rats. Her maternal instinct is drawn to a Greek tortoise egg nearby.

Set on Orbis.

Set in Sacagawea.

Set on Sphère.

Set on Altahalib.

Set on Sfiery 1957.

Set on Sacagawea.

Set in Orbis.

Spinoff of the fanfics "Thomas Grant: Vampire Hunter" and "Tusks in the Closet."

Set on Orbis.

Set in Orbis-1031.

Set on Rimworld-X...for the most part.

Set in Sfär-NA.

Set in Sacagawea. MC is based on the singer Sara Evans.

Set on Orbis.

Set in Sacagawea.

Set on Sfär 1737.

Set on Sfiery.

Set on Rimworld.

Set on Volorty, in the 3rd century BC.

Set on Volorty, in ancient times. An alternate retelling of the Prophet Jesus Christ's biography.

Set on Orbis.

Set on Ishmael.

Set on Orbis.

Set on Sfiery.

The American socialist's play on the otherwise-patriotic song "Jehovah Bless the U.S.A."

Set on Sphère. MC is based on Toni Braxton.

Set on Boull-W. (It's pronounced "Boull-Whiskey.") Based on the Toby Keith song "Whiskey Girl."

Set on Sfiery.

Set on Gōlaka. MC is based on Kellie Pickler.

Set on Sfär.

Set on Sphère.

Set on Ishmael.

Set on Sferë.

Set on Sfär.

Set on Sfär.

Set on Sphère. Based on the song "Anna Marie" by Whiskey Myers.

Set on Sfär.

Set on Sfiery.

Set on Orbis.

Set on Boull.

Set on Ishmael.

Set on Sphère-49.

Set on Ishmael. MC is based on Megyn Kelly.

Set on Bömbörtsög.

Set on Sphère.

Set on Sacagawea. MC is based on Condoleezza Rice.

Set on Orbis...in its Dieselpunk Age.

Set on Sfär.

Set in Sphère.

Set on Sphère.

Set on Sfär.

Set on Sphère.

Set on Orbis.

Set on Rimworld.

Set on Orbis.

Set on Herpworld.

Set on Bömbörtsög.

Set on Orbis.

LBJ is President. Goldwater needs to suppress a hippie rebellion in his constituency. We all know how LBJ's going to react. And yet, when will Goldwater and his heffalump sidekicks ever learn?

Set on Sfär.

Set on Coldworld.

Set on Ishmael.

The South African miner's rendition of "Po Lazarus."

Tammy Wynette couldn't have sung it better. Not only that, but she didn't.

My own take on the song that made the lovely Malena Morris famous.

This is how the American Constitution would look...if only socialism ruled the world.

All societies need it...whether they miss it or not.