David Gardnerhide bio
Author has written 23 stories for Humor, and Thriller. Just Looking for feedback on some one page shorts, and yes I know my stories are vulgar and crude. They are often offensive to both sexes, but that being stated I try to look at stories that are well known and cast them in a darker light. Sometimes I will use sex and other times I will use violence, or a combination of both to provoke laughter. I would not recommend my stories to anyone under the age of 20, as all my stories deal with adult themes, that were never meant for a young audience. I do this not to offend but to test these stories on you to see which of these stories are worthy to go on, and which will only ever be a one page short. your feedback will always be welcome, and I will only ever wish you and yours well, as the world seems to be taking a journey into the realm of complete bollocks more and more each day. In conclusion if you are still watching Disney movies then this material is not for you, so go and find something more to your taste, and I don't blame you for it, as you need a strong stomach to read some of my stuff. A Journey into the Realm of Bollocks will printed in it's entirety on Quotev, and that will include stories not published on FictionPress. |
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A Letter to the Magistrate Part 2
John Sheppard has taken a journey into the realm of complete bollocks, and he has chosen his enemy. Black people are not his enemies. Polish immigrants are not his enemies, it's the system that makes them compete for pennies, but how do you fight a formless thing?
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 445 - Published: 9/3 - Complete
A Letter to the Magistrate Part 1
A man pushed to the limit by the system he used to work for. He takes the darker road and takes a journey into the realm of complete bollocks.
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 822 - Published: 9/3
A Conspiracy Theory
The realm of complete bollocks would like to spin a conspiracy theory of it's own. Read about Sponge Bob's role in the fall of democracy, and the rise of a new dictator standing for the same old crap.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 723 - Published: 9/1 - Complete
Holiday of A Lifetime
The Realm of Complete Bollocks would like to pay homage to the woman's magazine one page short. Sometimes called a quickie, coffee break story, or the 5 minute short. whatever they call it, their formula for writing one page shorts is the standard used by writers all over the world. Read about a bored married woman, who takes a trip into the realm of complete bollocks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/22 - Complete
Hiding in Your Face
You can't call yourself a writer until you've written a clown story, be it happy, sad or scary there has to be one, and the realm of complete bollocks it is no different. However just like any story in the realm of complete bollocks, you never know what your going to get.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 480 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/21 - Complete
He Has the Eyes of A Killer
Convinced his colleague is a killer, but what is he supposed to do, when no one believes him? In the realm of complete bollocks are you the madmen? or is it everybody else? Where the lines are blurred and routinely crossed, it's hard to tell the truth of any situation. You must be taking a journey into the realm of complete bollocks, and good luck to you.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 621 - Published: 8/20 - Complete
Greek God of Self
The Greek god of self got booted out of Mount Olympus by all the other gods, and feels he was under valued when he was among them, here about his inventive ideas, and why he got booted out. A Greek god that could only exist in the realm of complete bollocks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 523 - Published: 8/18 - Complete
Fantasy Life
The archmge Ish Vacorn writes he's musings down, and they are the taboo's of the fantasy world. read about the fearsome barbarians and their hair care tips, and the private lives of dwarfs. This and more only in the realm of complete bollocks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 849 - Published: 8/18 - Complete
Cuddly Addams Mountain Man
Sometimes a mountain mans life seems like an easier road, but its hard on even the most hardy of folk. However in the realm of complete bollocks its just one more fracture in the road a man must walk, but not alone.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Published: 8/17 - Complete
Chelmsford Eskimo
Ever wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of city, and town life? why not move far up north where its cold all the time? where the people think a Brazilian is a south American person. Seeking a more refrigerated life? then come take a journey into the realm of complete bollocks, where even the blinding white snow is dark.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Published: 8/17 - Complete
Werewolf
So you've taken time to read the twilight saga and think you understand the curse of the werewolf. Now read about the curse like you've never read about it before. Its time to take a journey into the realm of complete bollocks, and safe travels to you.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 695 - Published: 8/16 - Complete
Bloody Aliens
Aliens are among us! Read this story to find out their true intentions here on earth, and don't eat the mayonnaise. It could only happen in the realm of complete bollocks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 345 - Published: 8/16 - Complete
A Journey into the Realm of Complete Bollocks reviews
A series of one page short stories that are sexually graphic, profane and meant for an adult to enjoy, whilst looking at work relationships, Yeti's, relationships, vampires and their hunters. No topic is sacred in this disgustingly funny realm of complete bollocks. Any minotaur's resembling the author are pure coincidence, and no refunds on bull semen purchases.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,528 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 8/16 - Published: 7/27
Ghoul reviews
Those that slip through societies cracks are the most vulnerable, and most likely to take a journey into the realm of complete bollocks. Read as one mans hunger to become part of society, ends in a profitable business.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 474 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/1 - Complete
Charming I'm Sure
So you think this writer has scrapped the very last barrel bottom, and there is no depths left to plumb, but in the realm of complete bollocks. The bottom of the barrel is a glass ceiling which must be broken. read prince Charming's tale and see for yourself.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 713 - Published: 8/1 - Complete
Superhero
Never heard of an openly gay superhero? no. that's because other superhero's, and the authorities would prefer if the public never did. read his story as told in the realm of complete bollocks.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 416 - Published: 7/31
My Life With Zombies reviews
Think you've read every survival story about the zombie apocalypse, now read the zombie story the twilight zone could not handle. It could only happen in the realm of complete bollocks. If you have not seen my other stories then please don't start with this one. Strong language, graphic sexual content and it may contain nuts.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31 - Complete
I Think, Therfore I Am AI
Artificial intelligence is going to take over the world, and nothing can stop it now. it is the future already written, but all because your an artificial intelligence, does not mean your life has to be artificial, or that you don't make mistakes.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 811 - Published: 7/30 - Complete
Future Man
You know the story. A man sent from the future to save humanity, but in the realm of complete bollocks. No story ends the way you think it will.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30 - Complete
I'm Not Chinese
Fu Stereo Type Man Choo is up to his eyeballs in wives, and swimming in children. How is a guy to do any evil? And like any man in his position, he goes online to rant like a madman.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 674 - Published: 7/30 - Complete
I'm a Umar Lumar too reviews
Read about the poor conditions in one of the most famous confectionary factories in the world. read the letter written by one of the long suffering migrant workers.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/29
Nice Guy Dave reviews
Just a nice guy trying to make a living in a fucked up world, pushed from job to job, Dave finds his true calling.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 849 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/29 - Complete