Hi people. My name is Jacquleine Schaeffer. And yes, Jacquleine is spelled wrong, because when I started this account in 2001, I was stupid, and now I'm not stupid, but I am lazy, so it stays. Not that you care, I'm assuming. Anyway, I've been here a while, and sad for both of us, haven't managed to finish a story since around that time. But that's changing! I promise. So while it looks like there's been very little activity here, I swear, I've always been a very active writer; I just abandon a lot of shit, which sucks and I'm sorry for that. But yes, I have changed a lot since I opened this account six years (holy shit) ago, as is evident with the completed crap back from that time. Don't read it. I just leave it up here as a banner to melodramatic writing.

I write because I get bored and I also like to escape. My own life is boring as hell. So I write to entertain myself. I also write because I love reviews more than life itself. If you're reading this, stop reading and go and leave a review on one of my stories. I'm totally begging you. I'm not above it. Stop reading now. Why are you still reading this? Go and read one of my stories and review. You better not still be reading this profile thing. I'm serious, dude. Go review one of my stories. Right now.

Perhaps I should give a little insight to my stories, which you should review.

Katheryn and Delia: I honestly wouldn't suggest reading this. I wrote it ages ago, and it kind of sucks. I keep it up there just as a testament to the fact that I did, in fact, write that crap. Then again, don't we all think that when we read old stuff. Ah, well, I had fun writing it and that's what matters to me. That...and reviews.

Viva L a Revolution: To this day, I really admire my plot line for this story. It was just one of those once in a lifetime flash of light things. Although the dialogue is cheesy and the writing is kind of flat, I still actually like this story. The version up is actually a re-write of a shorter version. Of course, the re-write did not save it from still being insanely cheesy and unrealistic. But who writes for realism on this site, am I right?

A Deal's a Deal: A pirate story that will not die. I always come back to it. I started it four years ago, but recently re-discovered it. I polished it up a bit and decided to re-post that baby of mine here. It involves a woman named Charlotte and an international PIRATE CONSPIRACY. Could there be two words in the English language any sweeter than 'pirate' and 'conspiracy'? I think not. Except: lasers. That word is pretty sweet, too.

Don't Hassle Me, I'm Local: I just moved out of my little beach town. This is a love story set in a model of where I used to live. The situations and characters aren't really based on anything in my life, but merely ideas I've had.

I have two more stories in the works currently (10/21): A prequel to Deal that I will start posting once Deal is over, and a romantic comedy similar to Local that's tentatively set in Ireland.

Now that you've read all this when I asked you not to, don't forget to REVIEW, dagnabbit!