One Of The Five Legendary Wise Guys Of Lore (Bezo The Blue, Yezo The Yellow, Rezo The Rather Orange, Wezo The White, Grezo The Green), his particular speciality lies in turning red jelly beans into blue jelly beans. But while they change in colour, the flavour mysteriously remains eerily the same...except for the faint aftertaste that only lead-based paint can leave. How does he do it? Magic. His other specialty (which is only
slightly less dangerous) is writing silly songs and silly stories, sometimes with the assistance of Yezo, his lifelong companion (and gorgeous, breathtaking beauty the likes of which he has never seen before, rowr!), and sometimes without. It is on his own that he is at his most dangerous, because of the disappearance of the stability Yezo's firm grip on characterization provides him. Having no grip on characterization himself, his stories often go places where they really shouldn't and involve plot twists that you don't see coming simply because you probably have a far more stable mind. Still, he enjoys getting reviews, even if they're simply telling him to stop the writing and take up something less annoying like writing Tom Green movies... His favourite things to write about are: Slayers, Star Wars, Transformers, Really Bad Movies, Wrestling and Guys Named Roy Who Drive Forklifts...actually, he only wrote about him once...and no one read it...

Still, he is a feedback junkie who loves getting reviews from anyone, even if they don't like his stuff.

My Slayers Couple Preferences Are: Lina/Gourry, Amelia/Zelgadis, Xellos/Filia, Sylphiel/Volun, Martina/Zangulus and Naga/Gaav...don't ask.
I also enjoy Hallas/Leela, Rezo/Eris, Valgaav/Copy Filia, Copy Copy Copy Rezo/Copy Eris, Darth Rezo/Sylph Greywalker...anyway.

My Favourite Things About Star Wars Are (In Order): Lightsabres, everything else, lightsabres again.

My Favourite Transformer: Soundwave (Operation Get Frank Welker's Autograph...Eject!)

My Favourite Current Really Bad Movie Is: The One (with Jet Li)

My Current Favourite Really Bad Anime Is: Maze (if they put in more nudity, I think it would classify as x-rated)

My Favourite Thing To Write About Wrestling Is: How much it currently SUCKS.

My Least Favourite Thing To READ About Wrestling Is: Pointless Ego Fics where a fangirl/fanboy joins the WWF (no E...NO E EVER!!!) and hooks up with their favourite wrestler/valet. I hate these.

My Favourite Pokémon is: Psyduck! Woohoo!

My favourite Video Game right now is: WW(F) Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth. My created characters totally beat the crap out of Hulk Hogan every single day, especially my Yezo.

My favourite Final Fantasy Game is: X, with VII as a very close second. Why are they doing a sequel to X? All I can say is, it better involve the return of Tidus!! Rrrr!

My Final Fantasy VII Coupling preferences are: Tifa/Cloud, Vincent/Yuffie, Sephiroth/Masamune

My Final Fantasy X Coupling Preferences are: Tidus/Yuna, Wakka/Rikku... (Wait! I've just found out via FFX-2 that Wakka ends up with Lulu, so I'm now alt-coupling...no...Wakka deserves Lulu) Rikku/Kimahri (he needs someone, poor little Ronso), Wakka/Lulu. Nobody still love Sin.

My Favourite *ed up pairing (of the week) is: Pikachu (Pokemon) / Rosario (Dragon Half)

My Favourite all time *ed up pairing is: Unicron The Planet Eater(Transformers) / Julia Chan (Tekken 4) She wants to save the Earth. Unicron wants to eat the Earth. There's clearly tension here. I think a romance/angst might be in the works.

Just kidding.

That being said, I hope that you will cruise on over to Bezo And Yezo's section of FanFiction.Net and check out "Of Godly Bunnies And Godly Hats", a Pointless Ego fic where Yezo and I are sucked into Final Fantasy 9 and fail utterly to take over the storyline even a little bit. Enjoy, please!

Just a note: I only write humour and I only read humour. If I want angst, I've got real life. Entertainment is my escape.

Up until now, I have never revealed my age and gender, for reasons that I didn't want anyone to think less of me for being so silly. As my name suggests, I'm most definitely of the guy persuasion. Either that or Yezo is a lesbian, and that is NOT something I am willing to accept. And as for my age...well, I'm almost 25. There, I said it. Please don't mock me for being old!

Should you for some reason want to contact me, send all death threats and other assorted communiques to toocheaptopayforemail@ I will answer every single message I get, even if all you say is..."Hi!" I will answer! I swear!