Avsman 5000
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Joined 02-06-02, id: 166563
Author has written 6 stories for Humor, and Horror.

Alright, after a six month hiatus from writing absolutely anything and lying around on my lazy butt all day long, I have decided to come back--and I'm going to come back with a bang. I notice most doctors and health experts say that laying around doing nothing all day can be bad for you, but not for me. I am a changed man. I am filled with ideas. I am ready...TO WRITE AGAIN! I swear to all of my fans out there *Begins to wave to 3 whole people and his mom* that I will FINISH all of the stories that I am working on, and will bring out some new stories in the VERY near future! If you want to read some really great and comedic stories make sure to check out Phenomonous, NL1, Hungfester, (Funniest story on the net!) Uncleremus 5000 II, JettaBliss, and Neveah Snow. (They're also on my favorite authors list if you're too lazy to look them up yourself!) I put my friends in all of my stories, mostly because I can't think of any original characters! Oh yeah, I just laugh at flames! Especially since some crazy person from this site sends "flames" that have nothing to do with my stories! *Coughs* *Lundi's child and Stargate!* As she says for Andy 3: "This story is so random, it shoots popsicles up the wall," Well, I guess my mission was accomplished! Mwahahahaha!
Oh, and for those of you keeping track of the 'flame war', I'm done dealing with the Aquim Jihad, aka Arab Nazis. Just disregard anything that they say in the reviews, because they're worth about as much as the dirt on my feet. And half of the time they are trying to insult other authors in my reviews. Sheesh. But we won the war. Mwahahahahaha! *High fives the posse* Good job guys. Apparently now they sent a virus to Neveah Snow, which shows they're taking this a LITTLE too seriously. They must be watching a little too much Stargate SG-1 or something. Grow up little girls, grow up...



July 22, 2004: I am currently working on chapter 3 to Andy the Movie: High School!, and also working on a new story. It's called Through the Eyes of a Lubber: The Legend of Bruce Miller

July 26, 2004: We beat Lundi and Stargater! Hahahaha! Boo to them!!

August 15, 2004: I added a new story called "Lenny, Lightrail Ranger" It's another comedy, so take a look if you want. Oh yeah, chapter 3 to Andy the Movie: High School! Is almost done!!

April 1, 2005: Long time no see folks...The evil bitches have left. Lundi and Stargater have given up. Bitches!

And now, a little background info... I was born on the tiny island of Fiji in 1939, just before the start of WWII, but was forced to move from my homeland after the lesser-known axis of evil that some people like to call Argentina took my tiny little island over. Luckily, my parents, Adalf and Francesca, were able to sneak onto a ship heading for the another tiny island known as North America. I lived in Canada until the war was over, and then moved to the good 'ol U.S. of A. and became a taste-tester for Coors beer. It was a magnificant job. In my spare time I would play a sport called badminton, and was so good that I eventually made it to the 1977 olympics, where I won 31 gold medals. I then moved to Russia and played for the CCCP hockey team, but quickly switched over to the American side, where I won a gold medal with the team in 1980. Man am I glad that I made that switch! After the Olympics I became a backup dancer in the hit boy-band "The Cherry Poppin' Daddies" It was a wonderful job in which I got to wear a leather jockstrap all day long. I now reside in a little town called Los Angeles, where I keep my .45 caliber close to me at all times, because of the constant gang battles. I now just sit around everyday, waiting for the November election, when Al Sharpton will become the next president of the United States.
I'm from Colorado, 16 years old, and love hockey. GO AVS!!!! REDWINGS AND CANUCKS SUCK!!! I'm also a true-blue Nintendo fan. I am proud to say that the only systems that I own are made by Nintendo, and I intend to keep it that way. My favorite show in the whole wide world is none other than Walker, Texas Ranger, and Chuck Norris is a god. Oh, so are Regis Philbin, Bob Barker, and Dick Clarke! I'd also like to give a shout-out to my main man Usher. What up dawg?

Oh yeah, I am also an official member of "The Flying Nuns" Posse!

Well, if you've decided to read on this far, enjoy! Believe me, my stories are a lot better than this bio! And, remember everybody, Don't pretend to be somebody you're not. Be yourselves, THAT's what's really cool...

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My Day With William Hung by Hungfester reviews
John Reubeck woke up one morning and had the greatest adventure one could have. Learn how he deals with his challenges. Filled with Suspence, humor, and erotic tales! If it's hard reading click on the indent button in top right corner.
Fiction: Biography - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,296 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/1/2004 - Published: 7/20/2004
The Crazy Man In the Pantry by UncleRemus 5000 II reviews
There is a cray man in the pantry. What else is there to say?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 811 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/11/2004
Fearless Brave by nl1 reviews
It's a poem about a fictional character, I made up, named "Fearless Brave."
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/20/2004
Jim Cold by nl1 reviews
Another stupid story by nl8. The sequel to "Mark Hot."
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11/9/2002 - Published: 10/9/2002
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Lenny, Lightrail Ranger reviews
In the first episode of the this highly acclaimed, emmy-nominated series, Lenny, a lightrail ranger, teams up with a new partner and must fight a gang of his old drinking buddies. Rated R for some language and drug usage.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 839 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8/15/2004
Andy the Movie: High School! reviews
Andy is now in High School. Will he be able to succeed in the Tri-Loser Tournament? Chapter 2 is now up! Andy has entered his name into the tournament, but will he get into it?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2004 - Published: 7/4/2003
Ken Caryl Bros Melee reviews
A story of action, adventure, romance-well, actually not romance, but this story is pretty funny! Chapter 6 is now up. And, Mrs. Hansen has a weapon of her own...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,406 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/3/2003 - Published: 2/6/2002
Andy 3: The Evil Pikachu Pencil reviews
The third installment of the Andy series is about Andy finding the strength inside of himself to destroy the evil Pikachu Pencil-and listening to Kidz Bop 2
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 575 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/19/2002
Andy 2: The Evil Bluish-Greenish Blob Thing reviews
Andy is in more trouble. But this time, it's in science class...
Fiction: Horror - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 530 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6/12/2002 - Published: 3/24/2002
Andy and the evil spaghetti demon thing reviews
Andy has unleashed the evil spaghetti demon. This is a terrible, terrible, terrible, thing. Chapter 2 is now up, and this is the exciting conclusion!
Fiction: Horror - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 3/17/2002 - Published: 2/7/2002