ELROND - Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, You are summonded here, to answer the threat of Tara. Middle-Earth's internet system stands on the brink of distruction, none will escape. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bond to the fate, to the doom of reading Tara's fiction for all eternity...Bring forth the computer, Frodo.

[Frodo Baggins nervously moves forward with a lap top computer open to the web site, FanFiction.net. He places the computer on a stand]

So it is true, the writting of power, the doom of all readers.

BOROMIR - But she has a gift! A gift to the foes of Tara. Why not use these stories? Long my father, the steward of Gondor, has kept the forces of Tara at bay. By the blood of my people, we have kept your lands safe. Give gondor the writing of the enemy, let us us it against her.

STRIDER - You cannot read it, none of us can. The writer answers to the reviewers alone, She has no other master.

BOROMIR - And what would a reader know of this matter?

LEGOLAS - This is no mere reader, this is Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, and a fan of all Good Fan Fic.

BOROMIR - This is a fan fic fan?

LEGOLAS - And occasional fan fic writer.

STRIDER - Havo Dad, Legolas (Sit down, Legolas)

BOROMIR - Fan Fic Has enough writers, Fan Fic needs no more writers.

GANDALF – Aragorn is right, we can not control her…she will just keep writing.

ELROND – WE have but one choice, the author must be destroyed.

[Computer beeps, showing its displeasure]

GIMLI – Then what are we waiting for.

[Gimli comes forward and attacks the laptop with his axe. The Axe shatters into a thousand pieces]

ELROND – The writing can not be destroyed, Gimli. Son of Gloin, by any craft that we here posses. It was made in the fires of the mind, and also the Hewlett Packard computer company, only there can it be unmade. It must be taken to Tara, and cast back into the firey casim from whence it came. One of you must do this.

SILENCE

BOROMIR – One does not just simply walk to Tara’s house! Its black gates are guarded by more than just jack Russell terrier puppies. There is evil there that does not sleep, poor girl is an insomniac, and her great security system is ever watchful. Her room is a barren wasteland, riddled with grime, dirt and dust. The very air you breath in her brothers room is a poisonous fume. It is Folly, not with ten thousand men could you do this.

LEGOLAS – Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The writer must be destroyed?

GIMLI – And you think you are the one to do it? You will have no chance, you will get there and she will fall in love with you, or she will morph you into your alter-ego Orlando Bloom!

BOROMIR – And what if we fail, what will happen when Tara takes back what is rightfully hers?

GIMLI – Well, I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of a prissy elf, or his British Alter-ego! Never trust a elf or a good looking Brit.

[Every one begins to argue, yelling a screaming at each other]

FRODO – I will take it!

[No one hears Frodo but Gandalf, you turns to him.]

GANDALF – Are you sure?

FRODO – Yeah, as far as I know, The Fan Fic Writer Tara has not fancied me since I played Casey in the Faculty.

FRODO – I will take the writing, but I do not know the way!

GANDALF – I will help you bear this burden for as long as it is yours to bear.

STRIDER – If by my life or death I can protect you I will…you have my sword.

LEGOLAS – And my Bow

GIMLI – And my axe.

BOROMIR – You carry the fate of us all, little one, but if this is truly the will of the council, Gondor will see it done.

[Sam Runs in]

SAM – Here, Mr Frodo isn’t going anywhere with out me.

ELROND – Indeed, it is highly impossible to separate you two, even when he is summonded to a secret council and you are not.

SAM – Maybe you should not have had your secret council in such an open place!

ELROND – Very Well, point taken

[Pippin and Merry come out of their hiding spots and run to join the others]

MERRY – We’re coming to, and you will have to send us home, tied up in a sack to stop us!

PIPPIN – Any way, you need people of intelligence on this mission, quest, thing!

MERRY – That rules you out Pip.

ELROND – Nine companions, so be it, you shall be the Fellowship of the Fan Fic.

PIPPIN – Great, where are we going?