Despite what one may think upon looking at my screen name, I'm a girl. o_O Yep, with the two X chromosomes and everything. I suppose if you're reading this, you are either unimaginably bored or are actually interested in learning a bit about me. If the first scenario is true, you will be pleased to learn that this is a very LONG bio. If the second of these is true, you've most certainly come to the right place.

AGE: 16 (BIRTHDAY: September 11, 1986 ...Yeah, I know...o_O)
LOCATION: California (I'm not saying what part...)
GRADE POINT AVERAGE: Not to brag (really), but I'm pretty much a straight-A student, taking English Honors and Japanese III, among other things... I'm a perfectionist, but I don't think it's a defining factor in my life that I'm a straight-A student. o_O ...It's just that I work my rear-end off...
SOCIAL LIFE: Huh, what is that? (j/k) At school, I have a couple of friends, and every once in awhile I go with my friends from church to dances. (I'm actually quite a spirited dancer...not necessarily what you'd call GOOD, but definately spirited..) The rest of my social life remains shrouded in mystery...um, yes. =)
FAVORITE MOVIE: ...Lord of the Riiiings! Oh, and Miss Congeniality. =D
FAVORITE LOTR CHARACTER: Such a hard choice... I would have to go with Frodo AND Sam. I don't think they're homosexual (or any of the other characters, for that matter..), but I think they're really sweet friends. In numerous reviews of LOTR fanfics on this website, I have been seen giving them both dangerously large bear hugs. (Frodo: OH, the humanity!)
LOTR CHARACTER I'M THE MOST LIKE: I'm a BIG mixture of the cast... I suppose I will elaborate. I have pre-LOTR Frodo's innocence and his somewhat limited knowledge of the outside world (this is arguable, I suppose..), Gandalf's temper and his love for the hobbits' simple life (complexity? bleh..), Aragorn's varying degrees of confidence in himself (which ranges from overconfident to doubtful), Gimli's pride (you break it, you buy it...hey, wait, that doesn't make any sense...), and Pippin's stupidity (but he's still oh-so-lovable!). In the words of the Count of Monte Christo, "I'm a [teenager, not a saint!" (sort of rolls her eyes) I try my best in life, but based upon this bio, don't assume that I - or anyone else - think I'm perfect, 'cause I'm not. Speaking of imperfection, I'm SUPPOSED to be working on an essay right now... But am I? Noooo...
AMBITIONS IN LIFE: I want to get a bachelor's degree in college, become a famous novelist beneath a psyeudo-name (so I can still stay low-key without all the stalker-fans...), and to get married to a great guy in the Mormon temple. (claps hands like a little kid) Oh, and to live my life so that I can return to God. ^-^

Okay, I guess I'll write some more, since you're still reading this... I'm Mormon (A.K.A. a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) - that's rather important. If you look over my list of fanfics, you will notice that almost all of them are G or PG. There's zero language in them, and the ones that are PG-13 are only rated that way for violence I felt necessary to the plot. (Merry: You think killing me off was "necessary to the plot"?) *Rarely, I'll mention the birds and the bees in my fanfics, but no one actually...does...anything... Um, so in other words, they're pretty clean (Pippin: SQUEAKY clean! ..Kind of like me mum's bathroom.). Also, I don't read/write any R, NC-17, (very few PG-13..), and slash fics. (...Let's not go there.)

Did I mention that I like writing skits with the hobbits saying dumb stuff? o_O Okay, I guess all that's left for me to talk about is how I came up with my screen name. Well, I was trying to sign up for this LOTR message board, and I was brainstorming on a name. First, I thought of maybe making a name involving Legolas, but then I figured that that's been done a million times over (let's see, Legolas'_girl1034, Legolas-is-a-hottie, Legolas_love_slave o_O The list goes ever on and on...). So, I began thinking of other stuff in Lord of the Rings, and I remembered that there was an eagle species (whose name escapes me at this moment..) in the story, and they talked. I then tried typing in "Talking Eagle" for the message board, but it didn't work! "Okay," I thought to myself, "let's try something else." So, figuring that the message board just didn't like that name, I tried something similar - "Talking Hawk." It sounded cool - to me, at least. Well, to make a long story short, I was never able to sign up for the message board, but I kept the name out of a lack of creativity. A couple weeks later, I was here writing fanfics! (Me: Ye or ne? Guy from the movie 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights': Which one means "yes" or "hooray"? Me: "Ye/yay".. Guys: YE!)

Sam: (coughs) Pardon me, may everyone turn their attention over to me? (you look at him) Thank you. (sips a glass of water, then sets it down) Talking Hawk has paid me...erm, ASKED me, to ask you that if you, a lovely reader - if I do say so myself, are truly bored, that you might review some of her wee little stories here and at her and Phoebe's account (see the Favorite Authors section)? She takes it out on us if she doesn't get any reviews...
Me: (gasps, turning to you) NOT true! I'm not abusive - especially to cute little hobbits...like THIS one! (pinches Sam's cheek lovingly)
Sam: (sucks in a large breath, apparently not-so-loving) ..MMMMRRRRRR. FROOOOODDOOOOOO!!
Me: (skeptical) Why should he scare me?
Frodo: (appears in the doorway, brandishing a spork and a legion of large, human-sized papers...HOMEWORK PAPERS!!)
Me: (eyes widen) NnnnnnnooooOOOOOOOO! (releases Sam and jumps out the window) AaaaahhHHHHH! (is caught by Legolas who is wandering about aimlessly below in the parking lot) (grins) Wow..THANKS!
Legolas: (blinks) You're a...GIIRRRLLLL! (drops me on my rear, and runs away in zig-zaggs, screaming at the top of his lungs)
Me: (sighs sadly) He's dauntless in the presence of giant squids, orcs, or Gandalf when he finds out that someone bet and lost his staff in a game of Poker, but he's afraid of GIRLS...
Pippin: (suddenly appears, wearing a genie outfit) I will grant you wishes three... Choose wisely!
Me: Hmmmmm... (thinks a moment) World peace, the end of world hunger, and the conservation of the rain forest!
Pippin: You idiot - you were SUPPOSED to say, "I want Legolas to fall madly in love with me, marry me, and make me queen of ALLLLL Mirkwood!"
Me: I'm not a Mary Sue, Pip...
Pippin: (puffs angrily, setting his hands on his hips) Well, then what was the whole point of this fanfic?
Me: (blinks) WHAT fanfic?

In the words of my friend Phoebe, I "never seem to run out of words," so I'll just shush up now. =) ('Men in Tights' Guys: YAY!!) Hey, if *I* have to shush up, so do YOU guys! ('Men in Tights' Guys: *hang heads in disappointment* Awwwwww...)

~*~WHAT HAS ALREADY COME TO PASS~*~
- "A New Sun Rises" posted (2-01)
- "Only One Can Be Saved - Chapter Thirteen" posted (1-04)
- "There Was A Time..." posted (1-02)

~*~THINGS I LIKE TO SAY BUT NOT NECESSARILY WHAT YOU CARE TO HEAR (a.k.a. announcements/ramblings)~*~
12-26 - Note to self: no one reads my ridiculously long announcements (except Celebrindal, bless her soul). This actually may prove to be an asset to me, however. (Just...don't ask.) Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, namarie, whichever fits... ~_^ Bye-bye.

10-24 - Some of you may be wondering why I deleted "A Thousand Miles [From Mt. Doom]" and "Mistaken Heritage"...it's not that I don't like them anymore, but some of the content just made me feel...weird. I don't like posting up stuff that makes me feel weird. Some of you might argue, "There wasn't anything *wrong* with it. Look at all the other stuff out there!" Yes, by the standards of the world, I admit that there wasn't anything too questionable in them...but, still, it makes me feel weird. Not that most of you necessarily care (o_O), but I worry sometimes about being good examples to you guys! I mean...I don't want any of you thinking that I'm...uh...I don't know. "Iffy"? Iffy! There we go - that's the word. o_O I understand that the stories I deleted were rather popular, but please, don't backlash at me (also, sorry, but I'm not going to e-mail out the stories - no exceptions). I MAY someday do rewrites of them and post them back up, but seeing as my workload is right now, I wouldn't count on that happening - at least not for quite awhile. So, for the time being, have fun reading the stuff that's already here. Thank you for reading.

~*~SITES I POST FANFICS AT~*~
http:///fanfiction/
http:///middleearthsfinest/ *
http:///jazz/bookwoimny/Harlems/index1.html
http:///frodosworld/
http:///firefey69/index.html

~*~FANFICS - ORGANIZED BY MAIN CHARACTERS (all of which are NON-slash; starting from the bottom of the page and going up)~*~
*SAM & FRODO - "To Sam," "The Littlest Ringwraith," "The Littlest Ringwraith II," "The Littlest Ringwraith's Decease," "Coming Back," "A Pact Between Friends," "The Money Bag," "May It Be So," "Songs of the Heart," "May It Be So Then," "Thoughts," "Helpless," "Please Understand," "The Monster of Bywater," "Bad Dreams," "Am I Whole Again?"
*PIPPIN & MERRY - "Pippin and His Big Mouth," "At a Distance"
*FRODO & BILBO - "My Light is Gone," "The First Night"
*THE HOBBITS - "Three Blind Spies," "Sitting in the Waiting Room," "Wedding By Candlelight," "Pwetty Women" (little Pip!!), "Where Memories Lie" (another little Pip story), "A Thousand Miles [From Mt. Doom," "Only One Can Be Saved" (highly recommended...I gave Elerrina Woods nightmares. J/k. =) Ah, I'm just messin') (Sam: YEAH...with our HEADS..!), "A Name For Him"

...Do you see a slight preference here...?

LEGOLAS & GIMLI - "One Sure Path," "Failed Aspirations"
*ARAGORN (& ARWEN, GANDALF, or PIPPIN) - "Mistaken Heritage," "Oblivious" (poem), "The Request," "A New Sun Rises"
*SAM & ROSIE - "Backstabbing - But Not Really" (with Frodo), "Hearts and Kisses" (*blushes* stupid title...I should've picked something else...)
*MERRY & ESTELLA - "Among the Cornstalks" (mush warning..)
*GANDALF (& PIPPIN, BILBO, or SAURON) - "Mischievous Exterior," "Three Months' Time," "Thine Own Choice"
*BOROMIR (& FARAMIR) - "Weighing the Scale," "Here I Am," "Forgiveness is the Key"
*GOLLUM - "She Came To Me"!!!!!! =D (begins chanting "Gollum's got a girl-friend!" again)
*GILDOR (co-starring FRODO & SAM) - "Gildor Inglorion"
*TREEBEARD - "There Was A Time..."
*ALL - "Hobbitwood," "To Rid the World of Dirty Laundry," "Matrimony and Wedding Ring Bearers"

~*~ONE LAST IMPORTANT NOTE...~*~
Favorite Authors - All (or at least, some of) the authors that can write better than me.
Favorite Stories - I tell you that I love these, but do you believe me? (No.) Well, I'm gonna go and prove it to you... (takes each story, in the form of a speckled egg, and nudges each one - with her beak - into a little nest; then, she sits on them...) My eggs, not your eggs! Arr... (But I'll share if you promise to take good care of them. =))